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Ilona7
1,253 M Little Steps 4
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts161 Forum posts33 Forum upvotes65 Current upvotes65 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2024 Member sinceApril 25, 2022
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Personality disorders and self-acceptance
Personality Disorders Support / by Ilona7
Last post
 September 3rd, 2023
...See more I have avoidant personality disorder and struggle with how to accept myself and deal with feelings of shame about having this diagnosis. I got the diagnosis years ago, but still almost every morning I wake up in distress with the first thought on my mind being 'oh no, I have a personality disorder'. It makes me feel like something is wrong with me, like I am broken and will never be a real person. I have so many memories of not functioning well due to my symptoms and getting rejected by others because of it, and these make me feel ashamed of myself and my diagnosis. On most days I am in emotional pain because of the feeling that something is wrong with who I am. I am very interested in the experiences of others who have been diagnosed with a personality disorder (avoidant or other). Do you struggle with self-acceptance? How do you feel about your diagnosis? Has anything helped you to accept yourself and your diagnosis? Also, if anyone (with or without PD) has any perspectives that may help to deal with the above, I would love to hear those. I am struggling a lot and could use some support.
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Guilt and self-isolation
Personality Disorders Support / by Ilona7
Last post
 December 8th, 2022
...See more I have AvPD and I am struggling with feelings of guilt and the tendency to isolate myself because of these feelings. My personality disorder is causing serious issues in my life, such that other people suffer from it as well. For example, I have had several jobs, but did not function well in them because of my mental health issues, and my poor performance negatively impacted other people. My partner has also told me how hard it is for him to deal with my personality disorder, and I can see him suffer. I feel like I should never have accepted a job or married anyone. Since I was a child I have dreamed of making the world a better place and helping others, but the sad truth is that my existence is creating chaos and causing suffering in this world. I am very upset about this and have the tendency to self-isolate to protect others from myself. I am not working at the moment and I try to hide my suffering from my partner, wearing a mask around him. Can anyone relate to these feelings and experiences? How do you cope?
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