A Communication Space for Jaeteuk and bestVase7265 only. (Please do not reply or respond, thank you)
I hope this can be a start of support for the long-term for the both of us.
@bestVase7265
I'm drinking my first round of solution in preparation for my colonoscopy tomorrow. It's very nasty. Although it says its fruit flavored, it tastes horrible. No wonder the instructions says to use 90 minutes to drink 2 litres. I have one more cup left and it's just past 90 minutes. Waking up at 4:30am to drink the remaining 2 litres will be difficult too.
I hope that the procedure went really well for you. I have been thinking about you. @Jaeteuk
The doctor gave me a thumbs up after my procedure, so I'm guessing everything is fine. No need for any follow-up appointment nor did he mention that I'll need another colonoscopy in the future. Since this procedure was needed only because of the acute diverticulitis, so I guess everything looked okay.
That is great! You must be so relieved to have everything over with for now. @Jaeteuk
I need to make two phone calls today. One to arrange with the garage to have my snow tires changed out, and another to make an appointment for a haircut. I hesitate so much every time I need to make a call though. I get really nervous and stressed, no matter who it is I need to call (aside from my family members). Even when I know who will be answering the phone, even if I have an idea what I need to say.. I just end up staring at the phone for a long time, before I can start dialing. I get so nervous that my hands and body start trembling. All this I blame on the trauma I had back in 5th grade. This is why at most times, I request others to message me if they want to talk to me, rather than calling. Although I have Caller ID on my phone, and on the landline, but I would still hesitate to answer the phone, even when I see who is calling. So, both answering and dialing, I hesitate so much. I find though, if it's to call for a Medical Appointment.. my nerves are better compared to say, calling the Garage to have my tires changed out. Maybe because I know that at the Medical Office, it's a female answering the phone, which makes me less uncomfortable.. and with other places, it's a male answering the phone. See, it's already been 15 minutes of having the phone in front of me now. Before, I used to have my dad make the appointment for me to bring my car to them.. then, have my mum help me with making the appointment for the haircut.. but this time, my mum wants me to do it myself. I asked my brother for the contact number for the haircut guy, and he told me I could message instead of calling. So, that takes the nerves away there. But I first need to make the call to have my tires changed. I wanted to see if I could arrange both on the same day, around the same time.. So, I could drop off my car, then, have my parents take me to get the haircut, then, by the time I finish with the haircut, I could go pick up my car afterwards. The weather this week is going to be hot, so I figured I should get my tires changed, since my car is always parked outside on the driveway. Won't be good for the tires in the heat. Plus, I have that one week of work next week, so it's better to get it done this week, if possible. Also, going back to work next week, would be better if I had my haircut this week. My last cut was end of February, and it's getting long again. Trying to keep it short, I still like it when my hair is short. Also, it's better to deal with after I wash my hair.
Okay, so my goal now is to make the call before 1pm. It is now 12:23pm.
Ok, so I hope that you successfully made the phone calls. I think that it is good for you to start to make them yourself. Each time that you do it it will become less stressful. It will never be perfect and there may be an occasional blip of a really bad call. By avoiding the calls you build up anxiety rather than creating tolerance.
I know that what I am suggesting is really hard if you have experienced phone trauma. But there was lots of good in your message too about being able to handle making medical appointment phone calls. You will figure out the other ones.
Consider doing things as strategically as possible. Call places where you are likely to get a female before doing male ones. But do them right after one another so you don't have too much time to think in between.
It is fine to ask people to leave messages and not answer calls from people you don't know. You can also look for ways to try to make appointments online for certain things.
But to practice when you can so it is less overwhelming for you. You have the strength to do this yourself.
I look forward to hearing how the phone calls went. Sorry that I was a day late in responding. It was a little chaotic last night during my normal Cups time. @Jaeteuk
I did end up making the call to the garage. Then, my brother told me that I could message the hairdresser for appointments, as that's what he had been doing. So, it was just being nervous with the call to the garage.
I had a terrible phone trauma back in 5th Grade (lasted for a month), which resulted when I'm talking on the phone with men, it had become a huge struggle after that incident. Overtime, I've just avoided answering phone calls altogether. Making the phone call, especially when I know it'll be a male answering, is when I hesitate and my body reacts with hands trembling, body trembling, feeling anxious and overwhelmed, with increase in heart rate. Even if I've written down on paper in front of me notes that will help with the conversation, I'm still nervous and my hands tremble.
Oh yes, I do go for the online appointment bookings whenever available.
@bestVase7265
Yes, I can imagine that you suffer from good sized panic attacks when you have to call someone. And the trauma is deep and has lasted a long time.
But you did a great job in just calling the car place and making the appointment.
You don't deserve to continue to have this panic though. There are ways you can work through it via exposure therapy. That simply means slowly introducing yourself to slightly more frequent opportunities to make phone calls.
Let one success lead to another. Who else do you need to call for some reason? Maybe we can plan another phone call for you in the next week or so.
You can do this. This will help with the online company that you are your brother are building and with your future plans. Slow but sure. You are ready. @Jaeteuk
I have to make a phone call next week, to confirm a medical appointment two days prior. So, will need to make the call in the morning next Tuesday. Although I hesitate when making phone calls, I think I'm more in the fear of answering phone calls from strangers. I feel more calm if the phone call is medical related, but I still do have a mini panic attack.
I hear my mum talking to my brother in the living room right now. I hear my mum asking my brother to help me more with our business, as if we do succeed greatly, it will be a new start for me and my brother. My brother has been complaining a lot about work, getting a lot of stress. He's the VP of his department, so all day long, he's in multiple meetings one after the other. He's also losing his hair more quickly because of all the stress from work. He's tried so many different remedies to regrow his hair, with not much luck. Before dinner, I heard them talking about going on vacation to Japan next year.. but, I'm not sure if that's with me included or not. I thought my brother and I were going to surprise my parents with like an all-inclusive vacation trip as a family once we hit it big with business.
@bestVase7265
I've got great news!
One of my published coloring books, we've only been running ads for it for 5 days, and I'm already standing in #1 New Release in Interior Design Styles! Whoohoo!!! 🥳 🏆
That sounds awesome! What a great business launch. Congratulations!@Jaeteuk
That #1 spot lasted for a day only. But we're still on Top New Release list.
Sounds good. Tell me a little more about what you are marketing. @Jaeteuk
Publishing. Selling books on Amazon. My brother paid for the program that teaches us step-by-step a couple years back, we're relaunching it as a business this year. Hopefully within 3 years, I can earn an income equal to a full-time job, and eventually leave my current job that is not even considered as part time. Just work from home.
What exactly are you publishing?@Jaeteuk
I'm have a few series in coloring books out already.. and I published a 30k worded book last year, with no sales.. but we're going to do more 30k worded books in the near future, those are what's suppose to earn more money if successful. 7 Cups don't allow advertising.. otherwise.. this platform will be a good place to promote my coloring books. Good art therapy for the stressed members.
That sounds like a lovely project and business. How do you design the coloring books?@Jaeteuk
I'm using AI for the images.. but, once we get that going, my brother wants to use his own designs. He's into interior design and even took courses before. We're just trying this out for now. See how it goes first.
@bestVase7265
Sounds good. I love the idea of interspersing some original ideas in there as well. They sound like very interesting coloring books. @Jaeteuk
So, my parents are an Alaskan cruise trip, they departed May 18th, gone for 2 weeks. Of their many trips, this is the first time they don't seem to have internet. My brother and I have left them messages and they have not been indicated that they were read or received. Although it's nothing urgent, but it does make me worry about their safety, or if they got sick on the cruise or not. They usually have wi-fi and we keep in touch every other day or so.
Luckily I'm also a member of the Princess Cruises, I was able to ask their Live Chat if they could help me contact them. They ended up giving me a number to call of their Ship name, and here, I was hoping it could be done in chat. Not another number to call.. Since it's not super urgent I'll just wait until they return. They should be back June 1st/2nd.
We have a family friend who's health seems to be deteriorating quickly. Learned from my brother's same-aged son, says their father has been in the hospital for a week, in Emergency, waiting for test results and bloodwork. That it seems to be his kidneys, that the Hospital is so packed, he doesn't even have a room to stay in, just out in the hallway. I hope he's on a stretcher in a hallway, and not just a reclining chair. I know if we tell our parents now, while they are on a cruise, there's nothing they can do about it. But, not being able to contact them is also worrisome too. There shouldn't be any dangers on the cruise, but it's just odd how they usually have wi-fi on all the cruises they've been on previously, and not have it this time. I know it's only for 2 weeks, but it's annoying how we can't contact them to see how they are doing..
Both my parents had gotten sick on cruise trips before, just a regular cold. I know the cruise have doctors on board and all, and I'm sure my parents brought along some medication just in case. Their return trip starts May 25th. It's a round-trip, so they probably won't have internet on the way back either. I guess they'll just be bombarded with messages once they return. I hope their next trip will have internet back. Maybe they thought there's no need for a trip that's only 2 weeks long.
I know it is hard because you worry a bit, but it is good to know that they are probably enjoying themselves.
I would think that other passengers would also not appreciate no internet though. My guess is that it is some kind of internet problem that the cruise line wasn't expecting and that they are working on fixing it. Hopefully you will be able to get in touch in another day or so. @Jaeteuk
My parents start their return trip from Alaska tomorrow (the 25th).
I went for a dental cleaning yesterday (Thurs). Another new dentist, but probably one I will finally stick with. She's the older sister of one of my high school friends. The cousin of my brother's good friend siblings. Very trusted and she does a good job in my fillings. My first appointment with her was to fix a chipped tooth. That chipped tooth was fixed with a filling from my previous dentist. But, it was a horrible job. Long story short, it just looked like a piece of clay was attached to replace the chipped area. The color was grey, not even the same tint as the tooth itself, and this tooth is like right at the front. Where people can see when I open my mouth. So, appearance-wise, it was not acceptable, and the filling itself, it came off after 2 months. When I went back to the dentist, he says, I'll need a crown, as doing more filling, will just fall off again. That dentist, is like a total ripoff. Even knowing that I don't have insurance, still tries to get me to do a crown, when my family and I think that a filling will do, as long as it's done properly, there should be no problems of it breaking off. I've spent $1000s with that dentist doing all fillings in my mouth. He made me do like nearly 16 fillings. But, not all of them were urgent, as they weren't bothering me or gave me problems. So, it was a total ripoff. And when I asked for a 10% discount because I don't have insurance, he was like, we don't give discounts because we guarantee our work. Almost like a one year warranty. It was stupid. He gave it to me once, but only under one condition, if I agree to do two more fillings he discovered. So, that's like, it balances out.. Total ripoff, I feel like writing a bad review for him and his son. (The son joined the clinic as a new dentist, both father and son did fillings for me. Both weren't good. I'm totally not satisfied and felt like I wasted my money and they just want to earn money. Not really thinking about what benefits me, but what is profitable for them).
So, with this new dentist. When I went to her to get another filling. It looked like a real tooth. She matched the shade of my the tooth itself. My original tooth is small, like baby tooth size (did not fall off and replaced with adult tooth when I was younger). So, the filling she attached, made it look like a full-sized tooth, and it looks natural. Who says it must be a crown?
With my appointment yesterday, she did the cleaning for me. Near the end of my appointment, before the hygienist did the polishing and fluoride, she took a picture of my tongue with a camera. When she explained why, she said she noticed a white lesion on the side of my tongue, she measured the size with one of her dental instruments as she took the picture. She says that we'll have to monitor it. Because they can turn into something else, and when it does, a biopsy might be needed. Since I need cleaning like every 4 months, she says that with the frequent visits, it'll be much easier for her to monitor it. Also, she says I have little bumps on my gums on the inner side of my top teeth. She says those are like mini canker sores or some other name she called it. She asked if they were bothering me, and I said no. She says, those things should resolve on its own and in the meantime, I could rinse my mouth with salt water. She said she will also check at my next appointment, if the bumps are gone. As she says it's difficult for me to see it (I can't even feel it with my tongue).
But that white lesion on my tongue she mentioned about.. The first thing that came to mind was having it turn into tongue cancer.. Why else would she mention that it may result in getting a biopsy done if it turns into something else. I'm not sure if I should tell my parents about this.. Or maybe wait until that biopsy is needed first, before I let them know. But I kinda told my brother about it, because I was telling him how this dentist is very good. I hope he doesn't go tell my parents about my tongue when I'm not around. So, he asked me to help him make an appointment with her too. He also goes to the same dental clinic as I, actually, he went there first, then, I went after. But, I think we see different dentists. So, I helped him make an appointment with my dentist, and he canceled the cleaning appointment booked for June and I booked him in for early July.
@bestVase7265
The new dentist sound wonderful and the old dentist was indeed a rip off. I would write a really bad report on the old dentist.
The new dentist is just being through. She wants to make sure that she doesn't miss anything. I wouldn't get worried unless she gets really concerned. I know that is hard to do, but focus on the fact that she is a very careful dentist. You would be too if you had ever become a dentist. You care deeply about things. But she is not giving you something to worry about. It will almost definitely be minor. I would not mention it to your parents unless she calls for a biopsy in a while. @Jaeteuk
I finally got a call from my parents this afternoon! Mum says her phone's internet is not working, and couldn't get it to work. So, they bought to have internet for 24 hours, through my dad's phone. So, she says, from this afternoon to tomorrow 5pm our time, they will have internet. I told her about my dental appointment, but didn't mention about my tongue. I hesitated, but didn't say it. I'll keep an eye on my tongue myself too.
But it was nice to hear from them. That all is well, mum's keeping an eye on the foods my dad eats. Also, apparently the other couple friend didn't end up going on the trip with them. So, it's just my parents on their own. Which my mum says is more relaxing. So, that's all good.
3 years ago, a nurse at work suddenly took a year off, as she had some sort of oral cancer. She had the surgery done at the hospital, and she hasn't returned to her position as an RN since. Instead, she got a part time position doing some desk clerk work. I still see her using the computer/sitting at the desk in the educator's office within the OR, like, once every few months. The surgeon that did her procedure, I think is getting ready to retire. He's been having many students that work with him whenever he's here on Fridays. He's probably in his early 70s. Very old doctor. It's about time he retire and let the younger ones step in.
@bestVase7265
I am glad that you got a chance to get in touch with your parents and that they are having a relaxing time.
Focus as much as you can on them and the good parts of your dentist visit. As best you can, put the weird spot in your mouth out of your mind. She isn't going to check it for a very long time again. Worrying about it for a year isn't going to be helpful to you. The dentist wasn't concerned enough to do a biopsy now. That means there is nothing that is growing fast. You are going to be okay. @Jaeteuk
Been fighting another cold.
Parents came back from their Alaskan cruise the past Saturday. Dad was a little sick. Then on Tuesday, both my brother and I woke up feeling sick too. So, it was either from our dad, or we caught a cold at home. Because the house always felt cold, even when we've turned the heater on. My brother recovered quickly, but not me. I had diarrhea for 2 days, and now I'm coughing in my sleep. Last night, I went to bed around midnight (had to finish watching a drama).. then, I woke up every 2 hours coughing. This morning, I finally got out of bed around 9am and I can barely keep my eyes open. It's 10 minutes to noon now and I already feel like going back to bed. I'm going to have to call in sick for tomorrow's shift. Suppose to be working tomorrow then next Monday and Tuesday. I'll rest more over the weekend and see how my energy levels are.. see if I can work the two shifts next week.
I feel like, since I stopped taking the multi-vitamins, I've been getting sick more often. I stopped taking it since March, because my GP says that my body has enough vitamins that can be stored for at least 6 months. So, now, I'm just taking a Vitamin C. But, I feel, without my daily dose of multi-vitamin, I'm getting sick more often (or back to the norm before I started taking it). I don't like getting sick, because the virus always attacks the weakest part of me. For me, it's my airways, so I always end up coughing a lot. That's how my asthma acts up too. The worst part is coughing through the night, disturbing my sleep.
So sorry that you have been sick. That is never fun especially when you can't sleep. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
I know that overtaking multi-vitamins isn't a good thing, but maybe you can do half doses? I know that I do a multi-vitamin gummy. It is supposed to be two each day but I only take one.
Sending lots of strength and peace. @Jaeteuk
I tried taking a nap in the afternoon, but I couldn't sleep. My eyes were tired, but couldn't fall asleep. I've called in sick for tomorrow already. Hopefully the sleep gets better over the weekend, so that I can return to my scheduled shifts for Monday and Tuesday. I was supposedly scheduled because someone is on vacation. But if over the weekend, I'm still waking middle of the night to cough, and not getting any sleep, I won't have the energy to be working during the daytime.
@bestVase7265
It will get better. The middle part of the sickness is always the worst because you don't see the other side of it. Hopefully lots of cough medication can help you sleep. I know that I live on the original Ricola (the square ones) when I pick up a cough. @Jaeteuk
I always have the yellow packaged ones.. I've also been taking the Cepacol and a Chinese herbal syrup that helps soothe the throat. I was able to take a short nap this afternoon, I was coughing and sneezing so much that I was getting a headache.
I have a nurse friend. I don't remember if I mentioned it to you before.. she originally asked if I'd be interested in housesitting her dog when her family goes on vacation. She says she trusts me the most. So, about 3 weeks ago, she invited me over to her condo and introduced me to her Frenchie, Timmy, and her husband, Patrick. Her son was at her sister's place as a sleepover the night before.
She messaged me this morning asking about my work schedule next week, probably wants me to meet Timmy again. I told her, I was suppose to work today, but called in sick with a cold. Turns out she's also recovering from an lingering cough despite finishing a round of antibiotics. I tell her, for people like us, with a history of asthma, colds that results in coughs take much longer to get better and tend to linger.
She recently took a temporary position for a year, that allows her to work at home, doing customer service for the charting system that nurses use for patients (a new tech system that just started earlier this year for our hospital). Now she's home all the time, and she lives only a 20 minute walk away from my house. (I forgot to submit this post yesterday, turned on my computer screen Saturday morning and this post was still here).
@bestVase7265
Sorry that the cough continues but glad for your growing friendship with your colleague. That sounds lovely. May tomorrow be better with the cough. @Jaeteuk
I'm thinking of calling in for Monday's and Tuesday's shift tomorrow. Then, just focus on recovering until my next 2-week work block that starts June 21st. Rather than make myself go to work on Monday, then, end up overworking myself before recovering, making me feel worse at the end of the day.
@bestVase7265
Sounds like a good plan. @Jaeteuk
So, I have a two week work block starting tomorrow. I've been working from home on my Publishing business for the past month, I'm honestly not looking forward to returning to work.. especially starting the work block on a Friday.
I've been needing naps in the afternoon because I stay up at night in bed watching Cdramas.. This week, I've stopped watching dramas at bedtime, in hopes to adjust my sleep so that I won't feel tired in the afternoon. I'm getting reverse effect though.. I'm going to bed by midnight (rather than 2 or 3am), but I'm waking up at 3-5am.. Like last night, I woke up at 3am.. and didn't fall back asleep until after 4am.. I woke up again before 8am.. but stayed in bed until 9:30am..
So, I'm not looking forward to work tomorrow.. although it's for the 12-8pm shift, I could still literally sleep in.. as it's the summer now, there should be more parking space even if I work the 12pm shift, compared the normal school year months. So, it won't be like I need to arrive at the hospital an hour earlier to wait for the parking spot.
After having to work at home, and making some pocket money.. I really don't want to return to work.. but my business hasn't gotten to the point where it can replace my income from work, despite it's not even a full-time position.. Luckily this summer, my schedule is not super packed for work.. so, I won't be as tired out..
Wish me luck for tomorrow.. hope I don't feel tired by the afternoon and hoping I was home for that nap!~
Restarting work is always a little odd. But I am glad that you are physically feeling a little better overall.
You will figure out the sleep schedule slowly but surely. Mine is off a little right now too because I had to take my son to the airport this morning at 4:30 am.
You are heading the right direction with your side business. Hopefully it will keep growing soon. You will get to the point where you can do more of the work that you like and less with the people that you prefer not to work with.
I also wanted to let you know that I will be away between June 23rd and July 2nd. That doesn't mean that I won't be answering messages on here. It just means that there might be a slight delay. I typically still manage to get on every night when I am away somewhere but I like to warn people in case that I miss. @Jaeteuk
Sounds good, enjoy your vacation and time away!~
@bestVase7265
I will try to. I hope that your first day back at work went well. @Jaeteuk
It was okay, the usual busy Friday. I heard it was a bit chaotic in the morning. But it was quite busy in the evening.. I didn't finish everything and have dinner until 7:15pm.. During nights that are not as busy, I'm usually having dinner before 7pm. There were lots of to, lots of supplies to replenish..
I started yawning from the beginning of my shift.. although, I slept okay last night.. woke up at like 6:59pm, and went back to sleep and waking up at 9:30am.. The lucky thing with summer is that there are more parking spaces, even when I start at noon. So, rather than leaving my house at 11am, and needing to wait for a parking spot. I arrived at the hospital around 11:35am.. and I get to pick and choose where to park.
Hopefully the next 2 weeks of work will not always be crazy busy.
@bestVase7265
Sounds like things are going as well as they can so far. Glad that you are able to get some sleep and find parking. @Jaeteuk
So, I thought I'd be able to adjust my sleep by watching my dramas at bedtime again until like 1 or 2am.. Because I can usually stay asleep for no more than 7 hours.. But last night, even when I slept at 1am.. I woke up at 4am, 5am, 6am, and 7am.. I don't like it when I'm up every hour.. then, it'll seem like I didn't sleep at all.. So, I ended up yawning a lot at work.. Hopefully sleep will get better for the rest of the week.
Sorry to hear about the bad sleep. I am in a different time zone at the moment myself so I am really appreciating how annoying it is to not be able to sleep. I hope that things are better for you now. @Jaeteuk
Are you getting any jetlag?
Today's shift was not good.. the lady at the front desk (she's like the person in charge of the OR from 7am - 3pm), came up to me near the beginning of my shift and told me to make sure 3 specific things are done every night so it's ready in the morning..
These 3 things I usually do, and if she received some complaints about something this morning, all I can say is, I might've missed 1 task last night.. But, the other 2, I'm pretty sure they were done..
Within the OR, we have 2 warmers for blankets.. which I will fill up at the end of my shift.. the only other warmer I always tend to forget, is the one in pre-surgery.. but here's the thing.. In pre-surgery, they now have their own cabinet with those blankets that the nurses working there can easily fill at the end of their shifts.. I almost always see a nurse with nothing to do by 4pm.. so, why can't they fill their own blanket warmer..
The nurses in Post-Surgery also have their own blanket warmer, and they restock themselves.. It shouldn't be our (the OR Aides) job to fill the warmer in pre-surgery.. I can see how we needed to do it in the past, because they did not have that linen cart until the beginning of this year.. But, now they have their own, the nurses working there has plenty of time to do it before the end of their shift.. Nowadays, they also sometimes get volunteers to help them fold up gowns for the patients and stack them all on the racks ready for the next day.. They could easily ask the volunteers to fill the warmer too..
And, I have a feeling it's the morning colleagues that complain about it.. and it becomes my fault.. All I hear is them saying that there are a lot of things to get do in the morning, and if I've forgot to do something and they end up needing to do it, they will say, they have a lot to do, and that extra task is too much work.. But honestly, some evenings are super busy.. like tonight, I didn't go for my dinner until past 7pm (I'm off at 8pm).. one room didn't finish until 6pm.. the nurses are usually off at 7pm.. even they had to work a little over, just to get rooms set up.
I usually have stretchers all placed outside each OR, and yesterday, I've grabbed 4 from upstairs back down.. and yet, that lady at the front desk mentioned about getting the stretchers all ready.. So, I left a note to our morning person.. saying I went upstairs at 7pm, and there were none in the hallway..
Like, colleagues can't expect that there will always be empty stretchers I can bring down in the evening.. because it really depends on whether or not the patients upstairs have a bed to be transferred to.. or if they get discharged by the time I end my shift.. So, it's normal when there are nights where there are no empty stretchers to bring down.. they can't expect me to have them ready for them in the morning every day.. and literally, it's their job in the mornings too..
I mean, I've worked their shifts before.. I know the amount of tasks that is needed to be done before the first cases start.. And yes, it does seem like there's a lot to get done within the hour.. but, if you work fast enough, you can do that extra work that was left behind the night before.. I just don't understand..
So, I was upset during my shift today.. because aside from that one of three things I missed, I do the rest every night anyways.. So, I feel like someone is making an unnecessary complaint and just wants to get me in trouble.. Like, there are so many things I need to do in the evening shift too.. As I'm all by myself from 3:30pm and onwards.. whereas, there are 2 Aides in the morning, and 3 Aides overlapping 2.5 hours the moment I start at noon. And yet, supplies are never restocked by the morning Aides.. so, end up going around the OR and checking on supplies and refilling everything.. When there's 2 Aides in the morning, I'm sure that they can easily spare like 5 minutes of their time to restock certain supplies too. It's like, I'm doing everything, the moment I start my shift.. and they could care less.. and yet, when something is missed, I'm the one who get the blame..
So, I was upset during my shift today.. Also, the colleague that finishes her shift at 3:30pm.. she comes to me every day, telling me things that she has done, and wants me to finish, so it's ready the next day.. It's like worse than having a second mother at work.. repeatedly telling me what I need to do.. I don't mind reminders like, once a week, but every day? But these things she tells me, it's almost automatic that I know I need to do.. Maybe she's trying to have good communication, but these messages don't need to be relayed to me every day at the end of her shift.. especially when it's repeated tasks.. and I've been doing this job much longer than she has.. I'm the one with more experience compared to the 2 current morning Aides that just started working late last year and early this year.. I seriously don't need to be told what to do.. and they shouldn't make a complaint about me when something is missed.. just do it!
@bestVase7265
I am sorry that it was such a rough day and glad that you were able to dump some of that here.
I am still away, so I apologize for a shorter message. Two things to remember: you are doing an awesome job and you do enough. Trust yourself. Second, the colleague that you talk about towards the end you can talk to. You can tell her that it bothers you when she feels a need to remind you of everything because you know what you need to do. See how she responds. @Jaeteuk
She's off today.. maybe I'll send her a text.. I don't want to sound annoyed if I talked to her directly..
I feel like I need a good cry though.. when I got home last night, in bed, I felt teary.. coming to work today, I'm feeling depressed and heavy hearted.
Why do people only know how to complain about certain things but not acknowledge any good deeds? It seems no one notices all the other work that I do because they take it for granted knowing that if they don't do it, I will. And yet, if something is missed, I get the blame.
As much as I like the work I do, and getting along with nurses and doctors.. these complaints from possible colleagues is very disheartening. It's making a job I like to do, seem more depressing.
I can understand why you are sad, but do remember that you are still valuable and your work is still good. They are complaining to make themselves feel better or superior and you don't need to give them that place in your head. You have done nothing to deserve it. If you can, let them know that it is bothering you. Let the nurses know too. I bet you have more people in your corner than you think. @Jaeteuk
I'm actually not 100% sure who is making the complaints.. so, I don't know if telling other nurses will help, or if they'll say anything good if they hear bad things about me. I makes me feel like others just want to get me in trouble, and that they are considerate of my workloads or are they appreciative of the other things I do.
This sleep adjustment is not going as well as I hoped.. staying up into the wee hours, and then getting my 6 hrs of sleep in, to waking up around 9am/9:30am.. I'm still feeling very sleepy and tired. But I know for sure, if I slept before midnight, I'd be waking up around 4 or 5am..
At least for my 2 week of work, one week is a 4-day work week because of Canada Day being a Stat Holiday and our department closes. So, we'll have a long weekend this week.
My cousin messaged me yesterday asking if we're free for lunch July 1st. I told her should be okay, as for my parents they have plans in the afternoon and but we eat in the morning, should be okay. Then, later in the day, she canceled on us, and said she moved it to this Friday because that's the only day my Uncle is free. But then, both my brother and I are working. So, we can't join, but her husband can, as his office is near the restaurant. He could easily step-out for lunch. So, I don't think my cousin will continue with our original plan of eating on the Monday.
Oh well, we don't really like her anyways.
I heard from my mum this morning that her mother, my grandmother had a sudden heart attack. She's in Hong Kong, so my parents might have to go back urgently in case she doesn't make it. As doctors say, already in her 90s, operation is too risky, and there's really no medication that can help. The sisters in Hong Kong gave to okay to the doctors to not revive her if she begins to deteriorate. My mum will talk to one of her sisters in HK on the phone later today, and to the other sister is the US. I've been asking my Big Sis who lives in HK to see if she knows of any cheap hotels where my parents may need to stay for at least 3 weeks.. depending on if they have to deal with a funeral..
I never got to meet my grandfather, but he knew my mum was pregnant with me when he passed away. So, I might've still gotten his blessings while in my mum's womb. He was a very handsome man, was in WWII. I saw their wedding photos, where he's wearing his military uniform.
I wasn't ever that close to my grandmother though, as when I was still young, I hung out more with my dad's parents instead. But it will still be saddening if we lost her, but at least, she'll be grandpa again after 30+ years without him.
I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother and sorry that I couldn't respond last night due to my vacation. Even when it is someone who you didn't get a chance to know well, it can still be a big shock and involves tons of planning, Sending you lots of peace as you help to plan everything with your mom. One step at a time is usually easiest.
@Jaeteuk
My mum spoke with her sister last night, as she visited grandma. Says she's holding out.. but just needing to have oxygen mask on as she's still experiencing shortness of breath. But without any other medical aides to help with the heart attack.. if it happens again.. then..
@bestVase7265
I almost got into a heated argument with my brother last night.. He made a suggestion with a new series of our coloring book, and I spoke bluntly that it sounds like we're scamming people.. and he took it like I was saying that he was a scammer. Anyways, long story short, the conversation ended suddenly, as I knew if I spoke more, it would just come out wrong and the argument will become more heated. It was already to a point of raised voices.
My parents weren't home yesterday, they left at lunch time to their friend's place to celebrate Canada Day. We almost ordered pizza, but because it had to be picked up, and I don't feel like driving, so we just made our own individual dinners. The argument happened (now I don't remember) before or after dinner.
I just know I didn't speak to him much afterwards.
Let's just say, I'm not in the mood for work today. Maybe also because of my grandma's condition. Last Friday, my Aunt suddenly told us grandma had a heart attack. Because of her age, already in her 90s, an operation is not recommended. So, she's just using an oxygen mask and been given IV medication to help. But my Aunts agreed to not revive her if she leaves. Already this old, resuscitation will be harm to her body.
So, my mum is thinking of visiting her before she doesn't make it. As we don't know when her condition will worsen or of how long she can live without an operation.
If she goes, I'm going to take time off work to grieve. Even if I'm not flying back to HK, still need time to digest her absence.
I am sorry for your argument with your brother. It sounds like all of the tension with your grandmother's condition might have condensed itself into that moment between you. Those are always tough to work through so give yourself time.
You are already processing your grandmother's condition now. It is interesting that grieving doesn't begin when a person dies necessarily. It begins well before when you sense that they won't always be around. I feel similarly about my own parents. It is good that your mom is considering a visit.
It is also good to work a bit. Part of processing is actually doing some of that outside stuff rather than falling into the grief. You process by continuing to give your brain space to do a variety of things.@Jaeteuk
This week at work, I feel like an empty shell. I'm only physically at work, but emotionally and mentally, it feels like I shouldn't be working. I just passed by a colleague, greeted her, and she says I sound like I'm dead. Honestly, coming to work this week, I don't want people to talk to me, especially with small talk. Even colleagues that ask "how are you today", knowing that they don't actually sincerely care about your response, it's just too much for me to handle at the moment. And I honestly am having trouble smiling. I can smile momentarily when I'm thinking of something funny, and I can smile at others as a greeting.
I asked my mum this morning if she'll be making a visit soon. She said after talking to her sister that lives in the States, they've decided to hold off on the visit. As Grandma is doing okay at the moment, and the fact that they went to visit her last November. As Grandma stays in the hospital, there are many of mum's siblings who can take care of her and visit, as the rest of them live in the same city. With my mum and the other sister living overseas, they are thinking of returning if doctors suddenly say that Grandma is not recovering well.
But I haven't been sleeping well.. waking up at 4am these days.