A Communication Space for Jaeteuk and bestVase7265 only. (Please do not reply or respond, thank you)
I hope this can be a start of support for the long-term for the both of us.
@bestVase7265
I tried starting it today, but hit another roadblock, hope it can be resolved either over the weekend or in the next day.
You are going to hit roadblocks. It is good that you recognize that you can push past them. Tomorrow and the next day and the next day are good points to do that. @Jaeteuk
Roadblock is cleared! But I didn't get much done today, used most of the day cooking dinnerboxes as I'm back to work tomorrow until June 6th. The usual of didn't sleep well last night, I'm changing the position of my humidifier, see if it'll make a difference. I probably won't be able to sleep well tonight either, since I'm heading back to work tomorrow after being off this past week.
@bestVase7265
Glad to hear. I hope that your work week opens smoothly.@Jaeteuk
Thank you. Have you finished all your grading yet?
@bestVase7265
I have been so sleepy at work the past couple of days, I feel like my eyes are closing.. but I'm not staying up late, not like when I didn't need to work and was staying up past 2am.. now, I've been sleeping by midnight or 1am.. eyes still feel droopy and sleepy though.. still need to work until next Wednesday though.
Sorry for the sleepiness. Some days can just be really hard that way. I hope that tomorrow is better. @Jaeteuk
I'm thinking maybe because I'm sleeping more than my average of 6hrs, so I feel tired and sleepy instead. Maybe I'll try going back to sleep around 2am, as my alarm is set for 8am. See if that will make a difference for tomorrow.
I have to try for at least 8 myself. I am also having a bit of a summer adjustment since my schedule is different.
If I can do it, I may try to slowly get rid of more of my sleeping medication this summer. During the school year, it has too big of an impact to try to switch.@Jaeteuk
I used to can sleep for 8 hours, but I think that number turned to 6 hours a few years ago. Now I think I feel more tired if I ended up with 8 hours or more. I used to know someone who will only feel well-rested if she slept for 12hrs!
Here's to hoping you can adjust your sleep without using the medication.
It is always a step at a time. I worked hard today so I think I will sleep well tonight. How about you?@Jaeteuk
Today was not a good day for me at work. Started off my shift having a colleague complain about my work and what I left for her to deal with in the morning. Telling me off that I'm not responsible and repeating it several times during the day. Telling me all the things I did wrong.. it totally brought my mood down for my entire shift and I was really *** off. I'm still feeling saddened, even when that colleague ended her shift 5 hours ago.
It is really hard when your colleague takes her frustration out on you. You didn't deserve it.
But also imagine that her anger probably came from elsewhere. She probably just had a rough situation at home or didn't sleep well.
None of that is an excuse in the least, but I know when I think that way then I feel less bad about myself.
The more that you can keep someone else's emotions from destroying yours the better. But it isn't easy in the least.
I had previously requested to work a 11:00am - 7pm shift because it worked out better when I was taking online classes. Manager sent me an email saying that she notices that I often stay past 7pm, so as "operational needs", after my days off, my shift will be reverted back to 12pm - 8pm. I replied with an "okay", but also reminded her the reasons I stayed was so I don't leave things behind for the morning person, because if I did, I get crap from them. So, we'll see how things go after changing back to regular time.
After she said that, although I stayed overtime last night, I didn't end up filling out the overtime form. Just in case it upsets her. But if she notices the other 3 nurses staying until 7:30pm and filled the form, but I didn't if she says anything about it, I'll just say I forgot.
Maybe the Manager doesn't like me either, for always doing overtime. If overtime still occurs after I've reverted back, I'll just not report it. I just don't want to get in trouble by fellow colleagues when I return to work the next day.
I am totally annoyed with that colleague today. I don't know how I'll be in the next 2.5hrs with her. I don't even want to come to work tomorrow, but I've got no excuse. And one day of not working a prescheduled shift means no pay, because I don't get paid sick calls.
Work this week is unbearable. I really am not looking forward to the summer.
What would it look like if you told your manager about all of your trouble with your colleague? You do deserve some peace and as I said before your manager needs you.
You can find your way back to this job being easier and you are going to start your new business soon. @Jaeteuk
I honestly think she will take sides. I'm the person with the least seniority, and the last time I spoke with her, nothing really happened for the better.
I think my best bet ia to aim for the success of my business, then eventually quit this job. In the meanwhile, to just put up with it. I only hope things like this won't happen frequently, it's not a good feeling to feel depressed and heavy on the heart for 5-7 days. I almost snapped at her this morning..
You are right that focusing on the new business is best.
But you can also figure out how to make the present situation more bearable. I hate seeing you so miserable. @Jaeteuk
Thank you. She seems to be okay today. Maybe because I haven't left anything for her in the morning to come to work to these days. But whenever she asks me how things are going, it's starting to feel annoying nowadays, as it no longer sounds like she really cares. And I feel that I'm losing my patience with her too, so that's not good..
I am glad that she was okay today. I am guessing that even seeing her is causing you to tense up though.
Are you doing any quick relaxation moments when you see her (perhaps right after)? Even just taking a few deep breaths (I count in for four and out for 10 twice) can help reset your brain and keep you calmer.@Jaeteuk
I ended up just avoiding interaction with her as much as I could and just have simple one-word answers when she asks me things.
My heart felt heavy from the beginning of my shift though, as if I was having a minor panic attack. It took me a good half of the shift before I started feeling more settled/stable. But the reason behind is probably sudden news of my grandmother in Hong Kong.
What is going on with your grandmother?
I am currently at my own parents' home as we prepare for my mother-in-law's memorial service tomorrow. My parents are also aging quickly and it is tough to watch. @Jaeteuk
My Aunts from Hong Kong messaged my mum, saying my grandmother is in the hospital. She lives alone, already in her 90s, she has an alert button to call for help if she's not feeling well. So, she apparently pressed the button and a care aide took her to a care home. The aide called my Aunts to ask them to transfer her to a larger hospital. Doctor says that her brain and neck are deteriorating quickly. So they admitted her to the hospital for treatment. I heard from my mum that her sisters are looking into applying to get into a care home.
My parents are planning to visit this October, as at the hospital, there is limited time for visitations. Apparently only allowing 8 family members of the patients in the room to visit, and each visit can only last for an hour, with specific time periods per day, needing to register the meeting time a few days ahead. So, my mum thought, it might be easier to visit and spend time with her mother after she has been placed in a care home. She said that in 2019, there was a spot for my grandmother, but she refused it. So, putting her back on the waitlist, she'll have more "seniority" on the list.
So, I'm hoping my grandmother recovers well with treatment, and stays healthy for at least a couple more years. As I would like to visit her be she leaves, the last time I visited was in November 2008. I never met my grandfather, as he passed while my mum was pregnant with me. As you know my financial situation is not very ideal at the moment, the expenses for travelling and living is not possible.
@bestVase7265
I am going through some of the same things with my own parents. It is lots of worry in these spurts. They go downhill and then they smooth out and recover a bit at that new level. But it is hard when you don't know and don't know how to best handle things. It is too bad that the future is not more predictable.
My father was struggling to eat and ended up in the hospital for tests for a few days from Sunday to Tuesday when he got too weak and collapsed on the floor. But he is now home and is starting to eat enough to survive the day a bit. Yet he hates to be encouraged to eat anything. He should also be in a care home but no one wants to admit that.
So we move forward slowly but surely. @Jaeteuk
I've heard from my Aunts that grandmother is having trouble eating solid foods. So, I hope the treatments at the Hospital will help her. I have a colleague who's parents both live at home, but have a total of 9 nurses going to their home to take care of her parents. Her dad has dementia, and her mum also have some sort of illness. Colleague is overly stressed, taking care of her parents. Her body aches everywhere, as she is in her early 60s. She was saying her dad also started off with having trouble swallowing too, but things got better.
For my grandmother to just start having signs of dementia at her age now, close to mid-90s, she's already lived a very good life. I really wish she'll stay healthy long enough for me to visit her in the near future.
Glad to hear your father is doing better.
I can't imagine how things will be like if my parents are ill. I know one of their wishes is for me to have a husband, or at least, someone to take care of me when they are gone.
Recently, my dad got some test results back in regards to prostate enlarging, but luckily, it's not cancerous and we tell him it's quite common in male seniors. One of the husband's of my mum's friend also had surgery to have his cancer cells removed. So, he reassured my dad's condition, because even our GP says it's of no concern at the moment.
Yes, my dad is 91 so none of this is surprising. Luckily my parents already live in a place where they can move from their home directly into the care home nearby when they are ready. But it costs a great deal of money so my parents don't want to do it.
I live about 3 hours away so I only get over there about once a month. But my mother did suggest sorting some things for an eventual downsizing when I visit in July. So that is progress.
It is easier to focus on the immediate issues rather than worrying about what will happen in the distant future. @Jaeteuk
It is more difficult for us because we're not in the same country as grandmother. My mum is the youngest of the siblings, so she doesn't have much say in anything and she has to think about the feelings of all her sisters and brother. So she's in a tough spot. Luckily one of her sisters live just below us in California, so she's able to logically reason with my mum about the entire situation. My mum's the 8th and that sister is the 5th.
All we can do is wait for the sisters in Hong Kong to update us on grandmother's conditions. Parents can keep her in their prayers. That's about it.
@Jaeteuk okay will do
Hey, @aerialpneumatics
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Yes, my own sister lives in the UK so it is a challenge keeping her informed as well. Because she visits only every so often, she has trouble seeing the decline and the best ways to solve it. There is lots of trust involved between siblings who are there and those who aren't.
It sounds like you are all doing the best that you can.
My mum just updated me on the latest news with my grandmother over dinner tonight. Apparently, Aunt 7, went to visit this past Saturday. She claims that grandmother looks more healthy and seems to be doing very well. Probably because at the hospital, they make sure patients eat their meals. As when grandmother lived at home, she may not be eating all her meals, or are nutritious enough. I also learned that grandmother is put in a Psychiatric Hospital, because when she first issued the alert button, she told the people she wanted to jump off a building. But you know how some people are like, when they're frustrated, they will talk about things like that, but not actually mean it.
Aunts are trying to look for a private care home, that is close to the majority of the siblings. The hospital will not keep my grandmother admitted for too long, so they'll have to find a suitable place for her soon.
Since her condition seems to be good, my parents will go as planned before. To visit in October after their cruise trip.
@bestVase7265
That sounds like a good plan overall. She is stabilizing and will hopefully find a new balance soon.
Getting them to eat can be the hardest part. My father hates being told to eat more, but it really causes a complete loss of energy. We keep telling him that eating is what keeps him from us insisting he get more care. I don't know how long that will work, but we try. @Jaeteuk
Hopefully in a care home, she will continue to eat her meals.
One of my colleagues' parents, also live in a care home. Just told me that her dad got a bed in our hospital's manor. That would make it easier for her visits, lesser stress in providing care and visitations on her end.
@bestVase7265
That is exactly what I am hoping for my dad eventually. We will see how things go from here.
I hope that other things are going more smoothly for you.@Jaeteuk
A couple of days ago, one of my colleagues told me her dad got a bed spot at the Hospital we worked at, and was transferred yesterday. He has been suffering from dementia for a few years. About 2 hours ago, that colleague messaged me and said he passed away this morning.
I just checked my work email, Manager immediately asked me to work some overtime hours next week, to start 2 hours earlier. Then, for the 2 weeks that I'm covering that same colleague's vacation in the beginning of July, to also start and hour earlier as overtime. With those 2 weeks, I understand why, because there are 2 staff on vacation at the same time. And because I'm not a permanent staff, I'm often the one who is asked to do the overtime. Which, I don't mind, more money for me.
In my reply, I also asked our Manager if that colleague will need the last week of June off for grieving. If she needs that week off, I can arrange to work her shifts too. So, we'll see what she says. I figure, since I plan to launch my business in the last week of June, working the morning shifts, I can still do the launch in the afternoon and still have time to manage it. As much as I would rather keep that week off, desperate measures calls for desperate arrangements.
That is great that you showed kindness for your colleague. We all deserve space to mourn. It is more work, but your manager will appreciate it and you even more.
Your business will still get launched. You are doing a great job juggling things at the moment. @Jaeteuk
Being kind is one thing, to have people actually appreciate it and say it verbally, is something else.
I'm preparing for the launch now, but I'm not getting much response that will help with the launch. So, hopefully, without it, the launch will still be good. Maybe it won't be as successful, but hopefully I can do something else after to help it kick off further. Hopefully that secondary step can be completed before the end of the year. I'll have to see how I can arrange my time to work on that step. Since I'll be working non-stop from July to September, with only 3 days off in August. I'll really have to force myself to use my weekends wisely, even if I'm tired from work during the weekdays. At least working full-time for those months, will help out slightly with the stable income.
@bestVase7265
Even if people don't says something verbally, they often still appreciate it and that matters. They will act more kindly towards you, sometimes without you realizing it. That is okay too. Know that you did a good thing.
If the business launches a little more slowly that is okay too. People have to get to know you and your product so it takes a while to establish yourself. You are moving in the right direction. @Jaeteuk
For some reason, I haven't been sleeping well for the past couple of nights. Waking up just before 7am, at 6:41am and 6:51am, no matter what time I fell asleep. Then, I'll try and go back to sleep, or just lie in bed until past 8:30am before getting up. I have a feeling this coming work week (working 10hr shifts for the whole week), going to be tiring, it's going to be a whole week of not enough sleep, as it means I'll have shorter time to rest. The elevator we use to transfer things is still waiting for parts. So, we've been doing all the walking up and down the floors to get items. I might have to use the big elevators this time, rather than taking the stairs. My left knee had been a bit sore these couple of days when using the stairs at home. I might have to wrap an elastic bandage around my knee when I get to work on Monday.
We're having our Father's Day dinner tonight. I'm cooking, dad said it's too expensive to eat out and wants me to cook for him instead. So, we're having some flank steak wheels, caesar salad, garlic bread, and he's going to open a bottle of red wine. Brother is leaving for yet, another business trip, first time to France. Leaving around 2pm on Sunday, so we might have a Father's Day breakfast out before he goes.
I also have a few things I need to do tomorrow too. Do the laundry. Need to rinse/wash my car, I should have done it earlier in the week. There's like a film of sap on the surface. I'll also need to cook a few meals to bring to work. Depending on the time, and my energy level, I might go out for some more groceries. Or I'll go after work on Monday/Tuesday, might also need to fill up my car sometime this coming week too.
It must be getting busy for you too, the term finishing, more paper the grade, etc.
Actually things are pretty slow for me because we are between terms. We end in May and start in August. But I have tons of course preparation and reading to do so that keeps me quite busy overall.
It sounds like a lovely meal that you are making for your dad. I bet that he will enjoy it. I am going to just focus on calling my dad tomorrow. He needs to keep things light right now. My older two sons and I will take my husband out to one of his favorite parks to go walking tomorrow morning. He wants to keep it simple.
I was up at 5:30 am myself to drive my youngest son to the airport. He left today on a weeklong trip to help seniors repair their homes in Pennsylvania. I am usually up at 6 am. The latest I go is 7. But I go to sleep at 10 pm. @Jaeteuk
Oh right, I forgot college/Universities end in May.. and only regular school ends in June. It's nice to have a bit of break before it gets busy with course preparations for August.
Everyone liked the dinner, something new and different flavoured. Nice and simple is good. I take it weather is nice where you are? It's been cloudy and cool over here and might rain during the week.
Oh wow, your youngest is doing something meaningful and spreading kindness in helping seniors repair their homes. That's awesome.
For me, going to sleep is one time, falling asleep is another time.
@bestVase7265
I am glad that you had a nice dinner. We went out walking this morning with my husband and then to a bakery.
It is really too hot to do much here at the moment. Trying to focus on nice indoor things.@Jaeteuk
