A Communication Space for Jaeteuk and bestVase7265 only. (Please do not reply or respond, thank you)

There we go! That worked.

Feel free to add how you are doing at any time.@Jaeteuk

I've studied the directions today, dragged the person onto Google Maps to see the street-view. I'll probably look at it again tomorrow. (I've written down some notes as to which street/road to turn on). I'm totally paranoid and stressed about it. I've also planned to see if my uncle is free to have lunch together. The office building of the clinic for my appointment is across from a large shopping centre. So, I had planned to park there and walk over, then, see if my Uncle is free to have lunch together either at the mall, or even somewhere close by where it's walking distance. Parking should be free for 4 hours, it was nice my dad informed me though, they changed some parking stalls to pay parking, so I have to be cautious with which floor I choose to park and which stalls I park in. I'm also planning to try my luck at the hairdresser (I used to go to her when I lived closer and transit was more convenient, before I moved back to my hometown). If she's not busy, maybe I'll get a haircut too. But I haven't decided how short I want to cut it. I know if I chose a length that I used to cut, my parents will not be happy, as they say I'll look like a tomboy again. So, maybe I'll have it cut to the length just covering my neck. I'll have to think about it over the next couple of days. I'll need to choose a style that will look good even if I grow it out. The problem with cutting it short is, she's the only hairdresser that knows how to cut a style that fits the shape of my face, other hairdressers that are close to home, they do not know how to cut short hairstyles, and are very conservative. I've tried 2 different ones before, and my parents were not happy with the outcome.

I studied one route over and over again, then, decided this morning to take another route. Still wrote notes but it was less turns. Merging onto the highway was fine, there were some traffic but didn't come to a full-stop. It really took me about the same amount of time as Google estimated. Upon parking at the mall, I messaged my mum to tell her I made it. Now, I'm waiting at the clinic, there's many people here. I'm the only one wearing a mask, that's okay. I'm used to it, since I work in the Hospital.

How was the graduation for your niece? Or is that the coming weekend?

Have you ever believed that you're someone who can see through someone else's pain by looking at their eyes? I joined a Group Support here in 7Cups this morning (although I missed a large part of it, due to time posted wrong), on loss and grievances. It led me to think of times where when I looked at someone's eyes, that I can see that they are in pain, sad, depressed, or that there's something going on in their lives, and yet, have no one to talk to about them with. It's like they want to share their stories, their pains, and have no outlet to release their emotions.

It got me thinking, I think when I first meet with people, I notice their eyes first. I think it's because I've been through so many different things in my life so far, with all the experiences and traumas, I'm able to have this skill of knowing how the person is truly feeling by looking at their eyes. Of course, it will be more accurate if I get to know the person too. In my current 36 years of life, I've only met one person, who was able to look at my eyes and see the pain I've been through or was currently living with. Sadly, that person, we met at one of my previous workplaces, 12 years ago, and after I quit that job because of mental health struggles, that person moved back to his hometown and we lost contact completely. Honestly, I was moved when he told me what he saw in my eyes. For the short time we worked together, we hung out outside of work, and I felt comfortable with him. As if we had known each other for a long time. (We never dated though, because during the time I met him, he gradually turned into a cross-dresser). So, it was more like becoming sisters instead.

Nowadays, I've been aware of celebrities that are overseas. Mostly, of those who had been hurt by false media sources, and by haters that want to drag them down. One particular actor, he had been taken out of entertainment because of one thing he did. It's been a couple of years already, and starting last year, he began posting himself singing on ***, and recently, shared with his fans that he'll be holding a mini fan concert in Thailand. I'm happy for him, but of the videos he posted in the past of him singing while playing the guitar, I can feel and see the pain he has gone through during these years of being blacklisted from entertainment. Even now, he frequently posts his rehearsals and pictures, I can still see the pain he's going through. Although he tries to smile, I can tell that he's still in a lot of pain, is depressed, and trying really hard to put a smile on his face. I feel heartbroken.

Many celebrities or idols overseas have had gone through similar mishaps from haters. At times, I really wish that they are able to find an outlet, to share their pain with. Even I don't know these people personally, I really do understand what they are going through emotionally. Even if I haven't gone through similar instances, I still know how it makes them feel. At times, I wish there was something I could do to help. But I'm so far away from them, and I'm just a normal citizen.

Actually, with my dream career (wanting to teach English overseas). I have imagined myself numerous times, what the work will look like. With my students, or the place I'll be working at. Not only would I be teaching them English, I also want to become their friend, their sister, and help them deal with mental health struggles. To share my own experiences, my coping strategies and hope that it can help them deal with their problems. But this dream career of mine is currently on hold, because I'm still very much financially unstable. With a current unstable position at the Hospital, I barely have enough money to buy myself groceries. I'm just lucky that I don't need to pay rent (living with my parents), but I'm unable to contribute my money to my family like I did before encountering that financial scam.

In a sense, pushing forward with running my own business is all I can do. Of course, being able to earn an income equal to a current full-time position may take years.. But, I'm really hoping I can achieve that before I turn 40. I really want to fulfill that dream career of mine, before it's too late. There is one company I want to apply to, although I know that they are not hiring anyone in the position of teaching English, I'm hoping my Cover Letter will hit the same notes as what the CEO is thinking. This company is like an entertainment company, the founder started his own company in October 2020, already have trainees who auditioned and are currently preparing for debut. As a company in China, I feel that English is something that needs to be taught by someone from a different country (me! lolz). Not from locals who learned English, because they will always have an accent speaking a language that is not their mother tongue.

As someone who is always watching Youtube videos of singers from China, there are many, when they have English words in a song, without looking at the subtitles, I wouldn't have known that they were singing in English. And these singers, are not ones that just debuted, these are singers who are already famous. So, my idea, is to become an English Teacher to those kids who are just beginning as trainees, and start teaching them English at that younger age. So, when or if they decide to sing any English songs, their pronunciations will be proper.

Of course, this is just the most ideal form of my dream career. In the beginning, my thoughts were applying to teach in South Korea. Amongst people I've known, I know two people who went to Seoul to teach English. But, amongst these two people, and after asking them their experiences, I've found out that there aren't many Chinese people that they hire to teach English. So, that is why I've somehow redirected my destination to fulfill my dream career. Of these two people, one is from South Africa, brown skinned, and the other is black (lived in Quebec before, so spoke French). It seems that South Korea doesn't really hire those of the same coloured skin to teach English (Asians, the typical yellow-skinned, black haired folks). The other thing I need to do though, is finish my Diploma that allows me to teach English overseas. I've put the course on hold, because I haven't found the time to make myself focus on completing the courses within the limited time. I have renewed the course a couple of times before, but was unable to finish it. Then, I changed my focus on preparing for launching my business, and had put that on hold. Didn't want to waste anymore money, if I know that I won't have the time to focus and finish it. I did complete the Certificate part of the program though, but because I had initially applied and paid for the Diploma Program, they don't count that I've completed it even when I've finished and passed at the Certificate level. Luckily, what I've learned so far, can continue to be on hold. Until I renew my subscription, I can continue from where I left off from to complete the remaining courses for the Diploma part of the program. At the same time though, I'm hoping the Certificate part would be enough for me apply to that Entertainment Company. By then, I'll need to ask the school to send me a copy for the Certificate.

I'm really getting ahead of myself here. But I do get excited just daydreaming about fulfilling this dream career of mine!~

That's all for today, this was such a long post! Hope you're with me to the end!~

So, I finally got my haircut yesterday. To a style that my dad had liked, and that I'm okay with it too. Even the hairdresser thinks that this style is good for the summer. My parents just left, one of their friends' have free tickets to a concert. Old-time Chinese singer. I just messaged my mum about asking that Auntie about organizing something so I can meet with her daughter (same friends with the free tickets). I also suggested or maybe she could ask the other Auntie to organize another gathering where I could meet that daughter + fiance.

Now, I'll just have to wait and see. The weather here is going to be really hot for the next week or so. Probably not a good idea to plan outdoor activities for us to meet. Oh yea, I also got my eyes checked, as I needed the latest prescriptions so I can get new glasses. My current pair, the left nose piece fell off, and we've temporarily super-glued it back on. Plus, these glasses are at least 5 years old. Definitely need a new pair, more trendy to match with my hairstyle. We might go try them on tomorrow. My brother has a better eye for these things, so my mum will probably take pictures of me wearing the glasses and send them over to my brother for him to choose.

He just left for a business trip to the UK, gone for a week. Says by the time he arrives, it'll be past 9pm on Sunday.

I got off track, I was going to say, during my eye examination. The Optometrist says my eye has slight UV damage and something about being yellow.. Not sure what the yellow means though, does that mean there's something wrong with my liver? He asked if I wore contacts, I told him my eyes are too dry for them. As I tried back in Middle School or High School, and the moment I put them on, I couldn't stand it. Come to think of it, I've been seeing the same Optometrist ever since my first pair of glasses back in Grade 4/5. Then, he just said that my eyes are just more sensitive, as he claimed that dry eyes usually have other reasons if it's sudden. (I should told him about the history at the clinic when I tried using contact lenses). We've been his patients for 15+ years already!~

My mum replied me yesterday, she said that daughter is busy these months preparing for her wedding in August. That they won't have time to organize anything for us to meet. There goes my hope for meeting new people this summer. Oh well, I guess that's one less thing for me to worry about..

I'll just focus on launching my business and going to work then. This summer will be busy for me anyways, starting from July to end of September. I'm ready for the second to last step before the launch, but I'll need at least a week's time to be on my computer for that stage. So, I'll have to wait until next Saturday before I can put in 100% focus. Needing to work the coming Wed-Fri, it will be difficult for me start now. So, these few days, I'll be taking a slight break.

As Mother's Day today though, I had made reservations early in the week, to have an early dinner at Cactus Club. They opened a new location just down the hill from our home. With just the 3 of us, I can afford to treat my parents. She came to me yesterday though, saying that she discussed with dad. They took a peek at the menu online, and said that a full meal could easily be over $100 for the 3 of us. This morning, I told her, when she orders, don't be worried about the price for me, I want her to enjoy herself, and not to feel stressed for me because I'm paying. I tell her, eating good food is not a waste of money, I'll be working all summer anyways. They always tell me, earned money is used to spend. I have been financially struggling because of that scamming incident, and it'll take me many more years to earn that amount of money I lost back, but I'm hoping my business will go well and in a few years time, I'll earn all that money back easily. When it comes to food though, I really don't mind if it's costly, because it is something we eat and goes in our body.

I am glad to finally say that I am back! I apologize for missing so much. This is the first time in about 8 years of getting on 7 Cups that I have missed more than 2 nights in a row, I think. But trying to simultaneously grade like a madwoman and be on "vacation" was a bit too much for anything else.

The grading will continue for at least another week and a half, but we are now back home so I can get more done. The graduation went fine and we had a good opportunity to use a little bit of time to explore a national park and get out on Lake Erie. Lots and lots of walking that I didn't think I could do, but I did. It was also nice to see family.

Oh my gosh. I had so much trouble sleeping last night. It seemed that every time I closed my eyes, there were a mixture of words/sentences criss-crossing in front of my eyes. It was like my thoughts, seen in words, but in all directions. I've never had this feeling before. I ended up waking every 2 hours from falling asleep at midnight, up until my alarm at 7am. Luckily, it didn't make me feel nauseous or dizzy.

It's going to be a super long, tiring and sleepy day at work for me. I'm also needing to work overtime, start an hour earlier, at 10am because one of our morning staff called in sick last night (for today).

Thursdays is late start, meaning first surgeries don't start until 9am, compared the normal 7:45am.. which also means, the day usually ends later too. Which leads to having my evening tasks super busy, especially when the Operating Rooms finish at the same time. So, the possibility of staying later than my regular shift is also possible. So, overtime before and after is possible tonight. But with the poor sleep I had last night, this kind of day will be much more difficult for me to handle.

We had two workmen for the six windows and they were done in less than a day. If your workmen have the same speed as ours (and we had two larger windows), I would estimate 3-4 days tops. It sounds like you have a good plan of attack on doing everything.

One thing that we had to figure out was what to hang in the windows until the blinds could go back up. We have taken a bunch of sheets to hang from the rods. I am hoping that the final install piece will happen this week and that maybe towards the end of the week we can start putting the blinds back.

I'm feeling a bit lazy today. I'm thinking of going for a nap later. I had been awake most of last night, as the smell of paint thinners is so strong, it stung my nose a few times during the night and woke me up. I'm actually a little stuck in my second to last step before launching my business, and I'll use tomorrow's time to try and figure it out. And see if I can find a solution hidden somewhere, otherwise, I might have to ask my brother for some help. I might have to make a small trip to the grocery store sometime tomorrow too. Actually, my brother wanted me to go today and help him pick up a few things too. But, I don't feel like going out today, and going out now, means I'll need to wash my hair first, and the store I go to will be packed with cars, because a Middle School is nearby and many parents wait there for their kids.. I do still plan to wash my hair today, but maybe after my nap. My brother will need to go into the office tomorrow, and if my parents are heading out as well, I'll go for groceries after they have left the house, then see if my brother still wants to me grab some food for him, or see if he'll go himself on the way home from work.