@SeparationAnxietyOverload it certainly is nice to have someone understand. i also love curling up in the rain with a book. i have a whole system: i turn on some chill jazz and dim the lights low and chill in a beanbag chair. i love it so much <3. also some good news for you: photography counts as art! so yes you absolutely can, it just takes a little practice. i always paint more abstract so there’s no rules and nobody can tell me what to do. it definitely took a while to learn that you can’t really “mess up” art, but it’s worth it. i’ll keep you posted on my tryout status! anything new with you? talk soon :) <3
@toastydoodler
getting lost in a fictional world is the best way to heal <3. Im glad you enjoy it as much as I do haha! The routine is so real and I usually listen to rain beats instead of jazz but its good too! I guess I would consider photography as art so maybe im just better at these types of arts rather than classical art. I love abstract and contemporary art! its so deep and i don't know why people dislike modern art. I mean, its just another person's way of expressing their thoughts. Nothing to hate about. Its different but you don't have to like it, you just have to understand and accept it. But yeah I totally love abstract art and its so nice that you are doing that! Do update me soon about it! I don't have anything apart from the fireworks show so ill talk to you soon as well! Enjoy!
@SeparationAnxietyOverload you’re so right about the art thing! so long as it’s enjoyable and not hurting anyone people should be able to do what makes them happy. different opinions are great and needed but just because they clash doesn’t mean people shouldn’t have their opinions. rain sounds are so nice for sleep, they send me right off. i love all kinds of art. i just wish that they could pay the bills so i could do it for my whole life. talk soon! :)
@toastydoodler
art is amazing and that's so nice of you to think that way as well! I love art and when I grow old I would probably do it too lol. But yeah i totally agree with the art thing. The fireworks show ended like 3 hours ago and it was okay i guess. how about you?
@SeparationAnxietyOverload i haven’t seen fireworks in an awful long time. did you get any good pictures? i like the colors but not the loud sounds. not much going on for me right now. i’m watching the olympics. it’s crazy how these athletes can do things like this. the paralympics are super cool too. have you been watching them? it seems pretty cloudy and grey there from what i can tell. hopefully they won’t have to do their sports in the rain! have a wonderful day :)
@toastydoodler
Mhm. If it rains the games will probably be postponed to another day or maybe even be held in the rain. It would be SO COLD though. I love the rain :). CONGRATS FOR MAKING THE TEAMM!!!!! Yay!! how was the tryouts? Did anything interesting happen? Did you do anything to celebrate? I look forward to the next time we speak! Congrats!🥳
@SeparationAnxietyOverload nothing super interesting at tryouts and we didn’t do anything to celebrate, but that’s ok. something tells me some calm is going to be nice before everything starts to pick up again. i love the rain too <3 i hope you’re doing well and having fun even if the fireworks weren’t worth it. they’re outlawed in my state so no firework shows or anything here but since we live in the middle of nowhere people do it anyway. the plants in the garden are getting close to being ready to eat, so i’m excited for that. i love growing and taking care of plants. 🌱 excited to hear from you :D
@toastydoodler
p.s. I love the idea of picking the edibles from the plants during harvest its so soothing. I remember one time I went to vacation and I went to a berry farm and we could pick as many as we wanted and paid for them later. it was so cute :) I love salads, random I know. I just felt the need to say it now that we mentioned plants HAHA. But have fun growing plants! oh and that reminds me, I need to water my baby's breath. Talk to you soon! <3
@SeparationAnxietyOverload no way, i grow the same types of tomatoes! and also a bunch of heirloom varieties. my grandparents have a big garden and their “thing” is tomatoes. so for as long as i can remember every summer has been filled with tomatoes and sunflowers. now they’re guaranteed to be in any garden of mine. maybe i’ll try singing to my plants sometime! i’ve always been pretty shy about singing in front of people (stage fright, amirite?) but plants don’t judge. i think i’ll give it a try. my sister builds things too! she makes all sorts of stuff out of cardboard and hot glue. once she made a mini refrigerator to go onto the big refrigerator which i thought was cute. i would love to see your globe, and I'm sure cleanup was horrendous based off of what a mess my sister makes! but hey, it came out nice so it’s worth it. and you’re right about picking your own food, it really is healing. it tastes better than store things too. can’t wait to hear from you! <3
@toastydoodler
oh wow! what a coincidence! your family sounds so cool! I can't really communicate with my grandparents because I can't speak their language so yeah :/ but I'm super happy for you! it sounds soooo interesting! when you described your garden it was giving the secret garden haha! I wish I could have a biggg garden... in our country its rare to have backyards unless you live in a big bungalow. But if I did, I would have a little greenhouse with strawberries and lemons! and little orchid rows with melons...planting is so therapeutic lol. Its okay! I get that too so I usually plug in noise cancelling headphones and sing so that I can't hear myself (HAHA). mhm that's true. That sounds so interesting! I loved lego since like 2 lol. im so happy that you get me! I truly love preparing the food myself even though im horrible at cooking. I love the process of baking except the cleaning but I have to because I get the urge haha! do you like baking? (i only know how to bake waffles 🤭 ) well hear from you soon! <3 🤗
@SeparationAnxietyOverload in a lot of places here, especially cities, gardens and backyards aren’t very big or there at all but since i live in a pretty rural place we have room for a big backyard. strawberries and lemons are a wonderful combination! they taste so good together, i love it. may i add: strawberry and rhubarb. it’s sweet and tangy also and it makes a nice sauce for ice cream. caution with rhubarb though because the leaves are poisonous if you eat them so you can only eat the stem. delicious though. i also love cooking and baking and am not very good at it. i’m getting better though! can’t wait to talk to you next :) <3
@toastydoodler
p.s. the talk about the leaves being poisonous and the stems being edible reminds me of the hunger games though I have no idea why lol. Have you read the hunger games yet? Talk to you soon! <3
@toastydoodler
oh mb, I thought you said you went to Japan. Sorry! But I love travelling too! What are your likes and dislikes? Talk to you soon! <3
@toastydoodler
Haha definitely! Now I need to go to London :). I’ve always found my country's sweets to be very uh limited i guess because its not a country which has like american candy or the typical candies found. But we do have sweets imported from other countries. I really want to try some candy like jolly ranchers, trolli and sour patch kids haha! And question, what is your favourite candy? What does it taste like? I’ve always thought of London as an industrial city so hearing that the food tastes cleaner is quite a surprise! Though I totally agree with you about the chemical things, so many different foods are found to have harmless things in it I don’t even know how to react anymore. This is why home-grown foods are better :0. Yes!! The pantheon I used to have a whole Greek mythology phase when I was younger. I memorised all the lore of every god and even tried to memorise the roman equivalents (haha). I just feel that the magical feel of the new plot of a series dies down past the first book so what you’re saying is really relatable. I love the taking off and the process but I hate the last few parts of the plane ride because I just feel super motion sick and stimulated due to the fact that you have to be ready to get out of the plane and you need to pack your bags,etc. So yeah, I also hate going to the toilet on plane rides and I love it when I find the perfect position on the seat so that it's cosy haha! Weird thing: I love turbulence, like not fatal dangerous hurricane turbulence but more of a bump turbulence. But absolutely not in the toilet. But in my seat it's just kind of exhilarating. I love roller coasters by the way, if you couldn’t already tell. Oh and one more thing I was (and still am) so so so death afraid of the flushing toilet in the aeroplane. It's so loud and scary and I usually flush the moment I exit with the door open so like idk, I don’t get sucked in HAHA. Mhm you’re so right about the sleep deprivation, I can totally get cranky with bad sleep in a cramped plane or no sleep at all. I have mixed feelings about the stop-overs before reaching the destination, thoughts? And the funny thing is that I manage to sleep if I want to lol. Its just that part of my body wants to stay awake to enjoy the flight but my head starts to hurt so I have no choice but to sleep lol. What’s your favourite thing to buy from the airport convenience store? Mine is haribo gummy bears. I always make it a point to download my fav songs onto my phone and bring a snack box of candy because my blood sugar can get low and I can get lightheaded sometimes. But yeah thanks for listening and sorry for the long message :/. But hope to hear from you soon! <3 :)
@SeparationAnxietyOverload you get it! turbulence is so fun when it’s not dangerous. it definitely makes the flight more exciting! most of my favorite candies are chocolate things, but i especially love mallow cups. they’re an older candy (think parents’ age or more) and they’re chocolate cups filled with marshmallow. if you’ve ever seen a reese’s peanut butter cup that’s what they look like. i just like marshmallow and chocolate together. you’re right about london being an industrial city. it’s very busy and you can see all sorts of things being build. their health and food laws are a lot stricter than what they have here in the u.s. though, so the chemicals and things that the u.s. let’s people put in food are illegal there, and their sanitation systems are better/used more. home grown foods are better without a doubt. i can’t sleep at all on planes, they’re just so loud and cold and there’s strangers everywhere. i had an 8 hour overnight flight once and i slept for maybe 10 minutes. i was so tired after lol. i normally get apple chips or chocolate covered raisins from the convenience store, but i do love gummy bears! they’re so jiggly i love it. the downloading songs is so real. i need music to function. it’s rare i go anywhere without my headphones in case i get overwhelmed or something and i want music. do you ever get overwhelmed? if so do you listen to anything? i listen to girl in red because i think she has a really calming voice. that or i listen to some of the calmer george ezra songs. stop overs for different destinations can be nice in the daytime but at night they’re annoying because you have to get out of your warm chair and go into the cold airport only to get into another chair but it’s cold and then you’re cold and you don’t get warm until you have to leave. don’t be sorry for a long message, i love listening to you. can’t wait to hear from you again :D <3
@SeparationAnxietyOverload don’t worry feeling out is rewarded here! that’s a really interesting connection to make between the myths and real life. you’re so right about airport security. i’m very happy to be your friend and i’m glad you’re my friend too. how’s life? anything new? not much is going on here. field hockey is starting next week. don’t get me wrong the sport is fun, but there’s SO MUCH RUNNING and i am not a good runner lol. at the best of the season we have this test where we have two minutes to sprint 100 yards and whatever time we have left over is rest. we do that 8 times but last year we had to shorten it to 6 because it was like 95* fahrenheit (35* celsius) and people were throwing up. not fun. our coach is kind of intense if you couldn’t tell. i hope school’s going well for you. talk soon friend <3
@toastydoodler *geeking out i meant geeking out sorry
@toastydoodler
Haha! itsok thanks for the reassurance. Thank you for being my friend I really appreciate it <3. I have many friends who are hockey players and they all seem quite good. Im sure you're amazing as well! But its okay if the running is hard and you dislike it, I dislike running too haha! but sometimes I like to feel the wind on my skin and the lightness in the spring of my steps. Its quite peaceful especially if you are running alone. But I hope you can grow to love it and cherish it! Its going to be quite hard but I'm sure you are a strong person and can overcome anything you put your mind to. One step at a time :). I hope you enjoy the field hockey! Wow, the training sounds really intense.. 35 degrees here is actually quite average or slightly above average as we are a tropical country. I wish I could experience all four seasons like you guys do. I hope you enjoy it. But the running sprint test sounds quite tough and I do hope you can take care of yourself! prioritize your health and if you feel unwell maybe go to your coach? But if you need advice or encouragement Im always here <3. Talk to you soon! <3
@SeparationAnxietyOverload thank you so much for the kind words! i’m very glad to have a friend like you. the wind does feel nice. i’ll make sure to stop running if it starts to hurt bad. thank you for your confidence in me. wow, you must be very strong if weather as hot as that is your normal! i don’t think i could handle that. whenever it gets hot i just want to fall asleep lol. here it gets really hot for a few months and then we get into cooler days (50-60 degrees fahrenheit or 10-15 degrees celsius). i live in a place where our winters tend to be cold and snowy (30 degrees fahrenheit/-1 degrees celsius or below) before we get to spring which is like fall but rainy instead or crisp and windy. how is it where you live, is it just hot all the time or do you go through two major seasons? thank you for always being there for me, and i hope you k ow that i’m always here for you as well. thank you for being my friend. talk soon! <3
@toastydoodler
no problem! I get the running and the heat thing. Im not very athletic so i don't usually like running. But sometimes its nice. Im not strong at all haha! its just I've gotten used to it here especially because its only hot all year round and our "cold" is 23 degrees Celsius. But I have experienced winter before just not in my home country. I must say, its beautiful but I prefer autumn. We do have monsoon seasons, where the wind is super strong and there is a very high humidity and rain but most of the time its hot. But its all good here. I'm super curious about how people cope in the different seasons as well. If one has a car and it gets trapped under a lot of snow how do you get it out? Shovel it away? sounds exhausting. I've heard of snowstorms and being locked in. I don't know why but I think that if you have enough food and water to last the duration of the snowstorm, it'd be pretty cozy. But yeah thanks for talking! talk soon <3
@SeparationAnxietyOverload i’m not especially strong either, but it’s ok. you’re right about autumn being the best season. it’s so cozy but there’s still so much to do! like halloween. do you have halloween? it’s when kids and teens go from door to door and say “trick or treat” and the people in the houses give them candy. everyone decorates to make it look spooky (think skeletons and carved pumpkins and bats). it’s really fun. for snow since it’s pretty normal around here to get a lot of snow people have chains with spikes that they put on their car tires to get a better grip on the roads and people get salt that they put on their driveways and the highway workers put it on the roads so the ice melts. people keep brushes and scrapers in their cars to brush off snow and scrape off ice. we’ve adapted pretty well to it by now, like i’m sure you have to the heat. and you’re right about getting snowed in: when we have a fire in the fireplace and tea on the kettle it really is very cozy! talk soon <3 :)
@toastydoodler
wow...its sounds so nice there! We don't celebrate halloween here either :/ there aren't any trick or treat events being held here. Most of us just live the day normally but I'm so glad you get to experience these kinds of things. I've definitely thought of going to celebrate Halloween before but its not the same here so I might go to the States in the future. I always wanted free candy and I would probably run around the whole neighborhood just to get everything haha! I would probably dress as a mad doctor or something. Wow! I wasn't aware of the chain spike thing that you guys put on cars, it sounds so interesting. The fireplace thing sounds nice. We don't have fireplaces here at all unless you're EXTREMELY RICH because we don't usually have the need for something as unnecessary as it because the weather is so hot here. But in my house in the Philippines we probably have one. Haven't gone to check yet :((. But yeah talk soon! <3
@SeparationAnxietyOverload yeah, i wouldn’t imagine you guys would want more hot with a fireplace lol. they’re fairly commonplace here because of how cold the winters get and if you have an older house then they tend to have them built in. do you have any holidays unique to your area? i’d love to hear about them. it’s so cool learning how other people live. a mad scientist is a great costume! i don’t know what i’m going to be this year… maybe a spy so i can wear my bow tie lol. my friend was a plague doctor last year and i was a hershey chocolate bar. you can imagine how much better her mask looked compared to my t-shirt lol. can’t wait to hear from you! :) <3.
@toastydoodler
yeah it is quite hot here and it makes sense not to have fireplaces but in the future I would love to have one just for aesthetics lol. Or for setting the mood during Christmas. (some people here celebrate it) But in my household we usually have air-conditioning on very frequently so if its on with a pretend fireplace like a fake one for aesthetics, it would be really nice. We celebrate a lot of unique festivals here since my country is a multi-racial country. We have have Thaipusam which is mainly celebrated by the Indians (not very sure though) and I'm pretty sure they have no wear muted colours and walk barefoot to temples to pray. Tw btw. The men who celebrate this have these things that they hold on their shoulders and sometimes there are needles which pierce into their shoulder blades (yes it sounds very painful) but the women carry milkpots on their heads. I'm pretty sure its like a display of strength from their god. Then we have Seventh Month Ghost Festival. This is celebrated mainly by the Chinese and it happens during the seventh month of the Chinese calendar which is basically around august so around this time period. People usually burn offerings like paper crafted items and money, food, incense, candles, etc. to honour their ancestors and give them things in the afterlife. It is pretty interesting. We have Deepavali also celebrated by the Indians, also known as the Festival of Light, where they make pretty decorations with rice grains at their doorstep and light beautiful candles. We also have Hari Raya which is celebrated by the muslims. they go to their relatives' and family's houses to beg for forgiveness and ask for blessings by kneeling and holding their hand to their forehead. Its pretty intense and sometimes wholesome. There are so much more like Racial Harmony Day, National Day, Lunar New year, Chinese New year, Mooncake festival, youth day, children's day, teacher's day. The things we celebrate here are almost endless haha! sorry for bombarding you with them but I hope you find them as interesting as I do. The plague doctor thing is so cool! I can imagine your friend wearing the mask already. Eerie but super cool! The hershey chocolate bar thing is actually very cute! I would've never thought of such a creative idea lol. I get the bowtie thing, sometimes I like to wear formal attire as well, suits, ties, even though they are uncomfortable because I know it looks good and elegant =) hope you enjoyed your halloween and talk soon! <3 :)
P.s. Btw, my countries famous roller coaster park launched this Halloween Horror Nights thing and its from September to October and its super cool! Think haunted houses kind of attraction. I may go if I have the time. But yea that's all from me =)
@SeparationAnxietyOverload you don’t ever have to worry about bombarding me with things, i find it all very interesting! the u.s. is very christian-based so all of the christian holidays are the ones we get breaks for (and also valentine’s day for a break but that’s different) which makes it a bit harder for the rest of us who aren’t christian. i’m jewish so whenever i have to go to the temple for something like rosh hashanah (jewish new year) or yom kippur (day of atonement, basically say sorry to everyone and ask God to forgive what you did wrong and then we eat bagels) i have to take the day off of school and sometimes i miss important stuff. also unrelated but for some reason churches don’t pay taxes here???? idk that seems a little odd to me. your idea of air conditioning + fake fireplace is very smart, aesthetics but functional. i’m not much a fan of roller coasters but i’m sure the halloween one is very cool! i hope you have fun at all of the holidays! and thanks for your halloween well-wishes :) talk soon <3
@toastydoodler
thanks alot! I really appreciate it! The idea of the christian and Jewish festivities are super cool and interesting and I would love to learn more about the Jewish stuff. (I don't want to accidentally offend someone) but I've heard of like "kosher" meals for the Jews? It seems pretty interesting. (correct me if I'm wrong :/) The atonement of sins thing is actually pretty common through all our festivities here and sometimes I think its wholesome but on other days I think its pretty awkward (im really awkward). So yeah. and I totally get the missing of stuff in school thing. I hate not attending school because I don't want to miss anything. Yet, I don't want to attend school. (if that makes sense). I love rollercoasters but sometimes they can be a bit much, I totally get it. Well, that's all from me today, thanks for listening! Talk soon :) <3
@SeparationAnxietyOverload don’t worry you’re not offending anyone! feel free to ask any questions you like and i’ll do my best to answer. my family doesn’t keep kosher because we’re not super religious but a lot of people do. it’s a group of food rules and i don’t know all of them but the biggest thing is that you can’t eat meat and dairy in the same meal or even on the same plates! some jews have two sets of pots, silverware, plates, etc. for dairy meals and meat meals. you also can’t eat pork or shellfish and probably other things that i don’t know about. you’re definitely right about atonement being awkward but it’s the thought that counts. and not wanting to go to school is such a mood lol. thanks for the chat! talk soon <3 :)
@toastydoodler
yup thanks for the reassurance! I've always thought about the kosher and halal things and its always so interesting and cool to me because I feel so much respect to the people who go the extra mile to do that stuff. I honestly would keep many pots and pans even if I am not required to eat kosher foods because I feel like its cleaner 🙃 but its totally fine having one set as well. Sometimes I love to not attend school but I feel guilty after though haha! Atonement is honestly sometimes relieving as well. Okay, talk soon! <3
@SeparationAnxietyOverload it looks like we share a lot of the same views! field hockey starts today, wish me luck 😮💨 is anything going on with you right now? i hope you’re doing well. what’s your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? mine is pancakes or a smoothie. or eggs 🍳. i don’t really know what to talk about. have a good day :) <3
@toastydoodler
okay good luck for the hockey! I have an acquaintance who is pretty good at hockey as well. I hope everything goes well for you! I don't have that many things going on, the exams for this term have ended and finals are coming up in 4 weeks. Trying to study extra hard! :) My favorite breakfast meal is probably waffles with blueberries and maple syrup. Though I can't have it everyday :/ I like scrambled eggs too! I also like sourdough with olive oil as a light snack. But usually I don't eat breakfast haha! I think that having aimless conversation is pretty relaxing, especially with someone like you <3 we've been talking for like 3 months straight! i think that's a pretty big achievement. Thanks friend! <3 =)
@SeparationAnxietyOverload i’m so happy it’s been able to last this long! talking with you is one of the best parts of my day. thanks for the luck, i really need it lol. wishing you luck on finals 🍀! i normally eat breakfast but if i’m home i skip lunch a lot of the time. but i’m not home often. i’ll have to try sourdough and oil! it sounds good. for a snack i usually just have fruit but if i have a lot of time i’ll make tofu. great talking with you, chat soon friend! :) <3
@toastydoodler
yup! its almost phenomenal how we've managed to talk for soooo long! I'm so happy to have found you here, idk what i'd do without you. It's like messaging you has become a part of my life and has provided me with a sense of stability. Thank you! Thanks for the luck as well and I hope you enjoy the hockey thing. Mhm, I totally get the skipping lunch thing, sometimes I skip lunch and breakfast cuz im busy or no appetite to eat. The sourdough is quite good but its important to get good bread or it'll taste weird. So yea! I love eating fruits as a snack! I like dragonfruit, grapes and apples! its so good. I also like honeydew, its really sweet. I love tofu especially when with soy sauce and chili oil. Ok thanks for listening! talk soon :) <3
@SeparationAnxietyOverload talking with you has become one of my favorite parts of the day and it makes me so happy to hear from you! i’m glad you feel the same. bread type is noted. i’ve never had a dragonfruit before, what do they taste like? they’re so pretty! in my house we mostly have apples and bananas but sometimes if i ask nice we have mangoes :). i love mangoes, they’re my favorite fruit. i also like cherries and watermelon. what’s your favorite fruit? talk soon! :) <3
@toastydoodler
yay! I feel so good knowing that you have the same feelings. Dragon fruit is really good especially if you get the perfectly ripen ones. there are two types of dragon fruit, the white flesh and the red flesh ones. The white flesh ones are generally less sweet and more mild tasting than the red ones but tend to be cleaner as the red ones leave a lot of red pigment on your skin and teeth. It's pretty healthy and the very sweet ones are quite nice to eat. Though I usually eat them close to ripe and not exactly ripe because I don't like super sweet things. Dragon fruit can be quite expensive though. I love apples especially fuji apples and strawberry apples. I dislike bananas because it just tastes weird to me but its a good source of potassium and fiber. I'm okay with cherries but its quite messy to eat and I love watermelon! My favorite fruits are honeydew, dragon fruit and watermelon. Oh! And sometimes persimmons. The best persimmons are the ones with slightly soft interior and a crunchy exterior. Im okay with mangoes but sometimes when I eat it I get nauseous I have no idea why lol. But its a pretty good fruit. Have you tried persimmons? Well, talk soon! <3
@SeparationAnxietyOverload hi! i have never had a permission, what do they taste like? we have a lot of apple farms near where i live, so there are apples year round. in fall it’s a tradition for a lot of people to go apple picking together, and maybe get cider donuts and some fresh-pressed cider. i’ve tried some pretty crazy ones too! for example: there is one apple where the outside is green but the inside is red or pink! they’re tart but super pretty. and then there’s these tiny little ones called firecracker apples and they’re really tart and so tiny! like the size of your thumb. cherries are definitely super messy, after you eat them it kind of looks like you’re a vampire. you’re right that bananas can be a little weird in texture, so i eat them when they’re a little before ripe or put them in a smoothie. maybe you have a slight mango allergy? i don’t know why it does that lol. it reminds me of something i learned about pineapples. they have a lot of acid so when you eat them they basically start eating you back lol. but your stomach acid always wins. can’t wait to hear from you! :) <3
@toastydoodler
oh it has the texture of like a peach but slightly more firm, it's sweet yet not overly sweet. When you first bite the flesh, you have to hold the slice in a way that you eat only the flesh and not the skin of the fruit. I don't like the texture of the skin as it's quite hard, harder and chewier than apple skin. It's pretty good and the exterior is slightly neon orange. It's basically an orange tomato haha! I love the feeling of running through the apple farms with the trees framing your walkway, its pretty nice. wowwww the apples sound so good. I'm so amazed with the knowledge you have about apples :0 I love apples too and I would love to try some of the ones you mentioned. The first one especially, its giving sunset :) I'm okay with banana smoothies but I don't like smoothies in general, it's too thick for me personally but I love a good avocado shake! I love yogurt blends too! I'm not sure if I'm allergic to mango but the same thing happens when I taste the same thing too much. I have a really bad gag reflex and sometimes thinking about disgusting things just makes me vomit. I have a pretty low tolerance for gross things. I should probably get it checked though. I know about the pineapple thing! its about the flesh-eating enzymes I'm pretty sure. I love the way you describe it, it just brings a warm fuzzy feeling in my tummy i have no idea why. Maybe I just like the poeticness of it, if it makes sense. I just love the way you put things, it's really enlightening :) Well, thanks for sharing! I'm going on a trip in a week so I have to study a lottt to get ready for the exams after the short vacation. I hope Ill be able to text you on the plane but if not ill definitely tell you beforehand. I'll text you immediately after I land. Well before that, I'll try to text you everyday until then. Good talk! Looking forward to talking again <3 :)
@toastydoodler
heyy! hru? <3 :) Im always here for you if you need me.
@toastydoodler
Hey how are you doing? 🌱😊 Hope you're doing fine with everything. 🫂 <3
My exams are over and I'm relieved but the finals are coming up soon so I gotta study but I'm going to rest today, 💝. Hope you're doing the same and doing well. Speak soon!
@SeparationAnxietyOverload i’m sorry that the exams are so exhausting. hopefully they’ll be totally done soon. i’m glad you’re resting. learning is hard work and you need your strength! sweet dreams <3 😴
@SeparationAnxietyOverload i’m flattered that you think i’m poetic! :) I hope you have fun on your trip, where are you going? good luck studying! isn’t it kind of funny that you already have finals and i’m just barely starting school? it’s so cool how different places can be, but they still do the same thing. what’s your favorite school subject? i know you said you wanted to be a doctor, are you thinking like researcher-doctor or like stitch-people-up-doctor? chat when you can, can’t wait to hear from you! <3
@toastydoodler
haha no problem! I'd say my favourite compliment is being poetic or deep :) I'm going to the Philippines cuz my parents need to sign a contract :/ Thanks for the luck! I'll need it. I just got back my overall results for Term 3 and I got a 3.7 :( I'll just have to study harder for the finals. But the break coming up is a week long and I thought that I would have enough time to study but now that the trip is here, I guess I didn't have as much time as I expected. I know! I've always found other country school systems to be so interesting. Especially the summer spring and winter breaks. For me, its probably Literature. During lit, time passes so quickly and I love every minute of it :) I want to be a doctor (my parents want me to) and I like the thought of being a neurosurgeon. But some part of me wants to be a lawyer. I'm pretty good at debates, just that I don't talk a lot when its not necessary in school so everybody thinks I'm just this nerdy quiet person. I don't mind it at all lol. I do like the idea of helping people , like you said, the stitch-up-people doctor. I don't like the idea of researching and idling when there are people out there that can be saved. there it is again! the way you talk is just so beautiful like the way you perceive and express things can be so nice. especially the stitch doctor part. :) Well, thanks for listening and talk soon! Btw, what's your mbti? (its a personality thing)
@SeparationAnxietyOverload thank you! i think i did an mbti test once and forgot my result 😅 i’ll take it again and tell you what i got. i totally understand about not having time to study. i feel like i’m barely home anymore. and i feel the same way about saving people. it’s what i’ve always wanted to do, i just never knew how. also i don’t know if this is weird but i just really like people??? like not in an extrovert way but like i just love humanity. like when you’re on a boat and you see another boat and everyone waves. or when you mention something and someone shares a silly story about it, or when you make a face at a baby and it laughs. i just think it’s so nice, how humans innately just want to be connected and loved and happy. we’re all just doing our best with the time we have and i think that’s wonderful. idk, just wanted to share. thanks for the chat, talk soon! :) <3
@toastydoodler
no problem :). Okay! Yeah, sometimes I have to do other things not related to studying, especially with teachers' day coming up in 2 days. I also had to prepare for my trip in 4days ://. But I hope everything is fine with you! <3 I think that that is pretty nice, everybody should be like you and want to save others :). Yesss!! i totally get this feeling. Like, one time I saw someone faint while hiking and everybody immediately went to go help him, giving him water, food, etc. and it was sooo wholesome to look at and I just felt this sense of warmth because humanity does have some hope after all haha. But yes the boat thing is so real, especially when people you don't know can be so nice :). the inner connection is totally real sometimes, because when I'm at my worst, certain humans just know when and they offer help, even though they don't seem like the type. Like, when I was talking randomly in the teen community room on here and met you! I honestly was so depressed then. I'm more stable now i think. But I hope you're feeling the same way! I hope that any past problems you may have faced will have less of an impact on you <3. No problem, I'm here anytime :). thanks for the chat and talk soon! <3
@SeparationAnxietyOverload i’m so glad you’re doing better! i’m doing okay too. not terrible but i’m in a situation that definitely lowers my mental health a bit right now. i’m just doing my best to deal with self esteem stuff, and some other depression related things. i don’t know if i can call them that because i haven’t been clinically diagnosed but that’s what’s most accurate. but talking to you always helps! i feel so happy when we talk. i hope we can keep it going. what’s a teacher’s day? is it for grades and things like that? here we have parent teacher conferences where the parents go in and talk to teachers about their kids’ grades, is it like that? it’s so interesting to learn about how other places do things. also kind of unrelated but i’ve heard that other places don’t do this, at the beginning of each school day we have to stand up and face the flag and do the pledge of allegiance. do you do that? sorry for the overload of questions. school starts again tomorrow morning. i’m not very excited lol. i didn’t get either elective that i wanted. hopefully i’ll learn to like the ones i got. best wishes for finals and your trip! chat soon :) <3
@toastydoodler
I totally get that! I'm so proud of you for having the courage to overcome challenges <3 I understand the mental health problems, and its totally valid to be emotionally low, but what matters is how you move on. I get the self esteem thing too, but you're amazing and a nice person and please don't feel that way about yourself, you're perfect in my eyes :). I haven't been clinically diagnosed or anything either, but I do show symptoms of depression and generalized anxiety disorder sometimes. But its totally fine, what matters is that you know what are the problems that you're facing, and that's good! Yup! I feel so happy that you seek pleasure from our chats, I do too! It's like having a best friend <3. A teacher's day is bascially a day where students celebrate teachers, give them gifts, flowers, cards, what not. And usually school ends really early and we get to go home early too! For this term, teacher's day celebration is tomorrow, technicallly today, since i'm writing this at 3am, and the day after is a public holiday, so no school. After which is our termly break which is the end of term 3 and the start of term 4. Oh! we also have those conferences, we call them PTC, parent teacher consultation. They do discuss our grades a little but its mostly about our behaviour, but it's the same concept im pretty sure! Mhm, I totally get that, its pretty nice to discover something unique and unfamiliar. We do that everyday too! We sing the national anthem, recite the pledge, and on Mondays, sing the school song after. The stand at attention thing also applies. Its totally fine! I love questions and talking haha! All the best for your school! I hope it is smooth-sailing for you! What elective was it? That's a good positive mindset and I wish I could have that haha! But yes, sometimes we do need to adapt to our environment. Ok good talk! Again, good luck for school (i know it sucks but we can do it together) and the elective! <3 Talk soon :)
@SeparationAnxietyOverload thanks for the luck! i definitely needed it. the electives were ceramics and contemporary issues (talking about world problems) and i got fiber arts and backyard sustainability (sewing and gardening). i didn’t get to have fiber arts today but backyard sustainability seems fun. the teacher’s not my favorite but i think the class will be cool. i have so much homework already! three pages for french, a small slideshow for math, and a bunch of forms for the other classes. wow, i wish we had a teacher day, that sounds cool! i guess we have labor day, but that’s a little different. we celebrate the workers who built the country and all of the labor put into it, hence the name. teachers are technically workers though, so maybe it counts. guess what? at the end of the year, after we finish standardized testing, we get to dissect a rat in biology. i’m not sure if i’m excited or not lol. good chat, talk soon! :) <3
@toastydoodler
no problem! Ceramics is soooo cool and I love pottery. The electives you've chosen are so interesting! The electives you've gotten sound pretty okay to me and I hope you enjoy it as much as you can :). Gardening seems fun though, and you grow tomatoes which is pretty fitting. that's good! We also have labour day, where everybody gets a day off work, school and pretty much everything. Sounds pretty similar to be honest. I suppose that is true, that teachers are workers as well. sounds like school is pretty packed for you as well, I guess our school systems have one thing in common: giving a lot of work haha! I do like the feeling of being productive and busy though. The biology dissection sounds pretty interesting! In my country, I don't think that we get to dissect things in lower secondary, but i'm sure I'll be able to do so in the years to come. It sounds pretty enlightening and it will definitely be an unforgettable experience to learn from :) okay, thanks for talking. Talk soon <3 :)
@SeparationAnxietyOverload i know, i’d been looking forward to using clay because every time i have art they promise that we’ll do it and we never do. it’s one of my favorite mediums. i need to do ceramics one before i do ceramics two and that’s when we use the potting wheels. but my new electives aren’t bad. i went to the gardening class yesterday and the teacher was talking about what we might do this year and it actually sounds super cool! it’s right up my alley. apparently it’s all food based, so we’re going to learn how to do things like make our own cheese and yogurt and bread, and make compost for soil, and mend clothes. basically what you would need to learn to be self sufficient. the teacher’s not my favorite but the class sounds super fun. i haven’t had fiber arts yet but i’ll get back to you when i do. wow, you have that too? i can’t believe how alike the places we live are! you’re definitely right about the workload. i can already feel my back aching from my backpack. there were so many forms to fill out! i’m exhausted. the dissection does sound fun. i’m hearing a lot of people who aren’t very excited to though, because some of them are squeamish. i hope i don’t get nervous, i don’t want to miss it! glad to hear from you, talk soon! :) <3
@toastydoodler
mhm I love clay too! They always do that here too, they always lecture us about the preparations and we only ever get to do it once or twice at the end of the term :// I never tried the potting wheels, but its sounds pretty interesting! That gardening elective class sounds so cool! I would love the yogurt making one, I love yogurt :) I think that self-sustenance is pretty useful to learn cuz I barely know how to survive if I ever need to. Ok!! Yup, I totally get the workload thing. I have 20 assignments to do over the span of a week :(( Ugh the back pain is also really annoying isn't it? I try to lighten my load so there isn't a lot of exertion on my back or it'll hurt very bad. I guess we'll just have to get used to it :/. I also need to rant a bit about my family if that's okay
@toastydoodler
like I'm sorry if I'm ranting too much, or letting you not rant enough but my life is absolutely just horrible. My mother hates this one girl that is friends with me. My mom doesn't like me being around her. We used to be in the same school but since we've moved onto high school, we are in different schools. But today, it was the day for the alumni of the previous school to come back and celebrate for the teachers and stuff. So we ended up meeting there, and I knew that my mom would be mad as *** at me for talking to her but I took pictures with everybody, and I tried not to get her in any of them. I like that girl in a platonic way and I have no freaking idea why my mom is that obsessed with her when she did nothing. Honestly, I emailed my friend in secret so my mom wouldn't know, but I wouldn't have to do that if my mom didn't randomly hate her. And her excuse for it is absolutely pathetic. But eventually I was showing my family the pictures I took of everybody and I told them that I saw my friend, but didn't socialize with her. I thought that'd be okay. But then they found a picture I took of a wide angle shot of everybody surrounding my teacher, and she was in it. So they randomly assumed that I was "hiding" it away from them because they think I'm trying to like secretly communicate or some stuff. I genuinely didn't do it that much and I thought that if I socialized one time, it would be fine. I just can't with my family. My mom got mad, she confiscated my phone, I have 2 photo competitions due soon and I can't submit my entry if she doesn't give it, and I just can't live with the feeling of uncompleted stuff. I honestly just cannot deal with my life anymore (TW) and I've already broken my clean streak and the only thing I'm thinking of is suicide because if I die, my mom can't hit me or do some petty *** or same some mean things. And honestly, if she does do it, she didn't just now, just do it until I die because I can't handle it all anymore. Like I've come to accept the fact that life is horrible and I only have 2 people, you and my other other friend (not the one my mom hates). So i'm just so tired and done and im sorry
@SeparationAnxietyOverload nonono please don’t ever feel like you can’t rant here! i’m always here for you, whether you want a friendly chat or you need to get something off your chest. i would so much rather you rant to me than you hold it in. i’m sorry your mom is such a jerk. she has no right to do any of those things, least of all hit you. it’s stupid that she hates that one girl without good reason. she should at least give her a chance, right? and she shouldn’t take away your phone when you need it. incomplete work always bugs me too, and i’m sure your entries were really good. i know how hard it is to keep a clean streak, and i’m so proud of how long you did it for! setbacks happen, and they’re hard, but you can do it. i’m here for you. there’s something i want you to try, and you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to but i think it might help. it’s called the butterfly project. every time you feel like you want to hurt yourself, take a pen or marker and draw a butterfly where you were going to harm. then name it after someone you care about, or something worth living for. like sunrises, or puppies. or learning about other places with me. i would be so happy to keep teaching you. if you take nothing else away from this, take this: i care about you!!! i want you alive!!!! you are a beautiful wonderful human being and you deserve love and support!!! please don’t attempt or commit suicide. who else would i talk with about fruit? who else would chat with me for months over the mindless nonsense that i love? nobody else can be my friend the way you can. i know its so hard but please please stay with me. you deserve better than what you got. i care about you. please chat back <3 <3 <3
@toastydoodler
im going to cry thank you so much for this. I've lived another day, im taking it hour by hour at a time. I have a flight in a few hours so I may not be able to text you until I get off. Thank you so much and I'll text you immediately after I get off. Words cannot express how grateful I am <3
@toastydoodler
im going to write whatever you just written and frame it. its beautiful and it makes me happy and alive. thank you <3
@SeparationAnxietyOverload i’m just so glad you’re okay <3 <3 <3
@SeparationAnxietyOverload are you doing okay? i haven’t heard from you in a few days <3
@toastydoodler
hello! sorry for not messaging overseas :( im back now though, I couldn't bring my laptop on the trip and I only had my phone, which I didn't save my account details on :( But I'm doing quite well! How are you doing? Can't wait to continue talking! Talk soon :) <3
@SeparationAnxietyOverload it’s ok! i didn’t realize you didn’t have your laptop and the last time we chatted you were having a hard time so i was just worried. how was your trip? where did you go? (sorry if you already told me my memory tends to be kinda bad 😅 in fiber arts class we’re making little worry dolls to give to the newest class, and mine is looking like a pineapple, so i have aptly named him pineapple man. what do you think? will he take all of their worries and make dole whip with them? lol. i hope you’re doing good! talk soon :) <3
@toastydoodler
haha thanks for understanding! I went to the Philippines and it was pretty fun, except for the fact that we got a cold :( but that's okay. Sounds fun! I love sculpting and stuff. Pineapple man is kind of a cute name! I've never had dole whip, how does it taste lol. But I hope you're enjoying your classes :) Talk soon! <3
@SeparationAnxietyOverload dole whip is kind of like pineapple soft serve. it’s really creamy. i’m sorry you got a cold! i hate when that happens. i like to drink tea with honey and lemon because it’s supposed to help your throat. i’m enjoying some of my classes better than i thought i would. backyard sustainability is turning out to be pretty cool. fiber arts too. biology and history are kind of boring right now but i hope that will change. we have our first field hockey game on monday, wish me luck. i’m nervous because it’s against a good team and this is my first time playing on a varsity field, and coach put me in a position i don’t know. it’s going to be tough. she’s very shouty for a coach so hopefully i don’t mess up too bad. i hope you feel better! talk soon <3
@toastydoodler
oh I see! So its basically pineapple ice cream? Yeah, me too, especially during the last few days of the trip, and you can't fully enjoy the experience. I usually just drink hot water because I have really little appetites when I catch a cold, so even the thought of food or beverages makes me gag. That's nice to hear! I love biology and everything science related! It's super cool. Sometimes I hate history because I get bad grades in it, but sometimes I love the interesting parts, it's like gossip haha :) How's the dissection coming up for bio? Good luck for the hockey game! I'm sure you won't need it though, you're probably super good! Playing against a formidable team is tough but can be a fulfilling experience so I hope you can get more experience from the new game! Hopefully your coach doesn't go too hard on you guys, but if she does, don't put so much thought into it, if you've tried your best everything will be fine. Again, good luck on that hockey game and talk soon! :) <3
@toastydoodler
no problem, I'm always here. :) The dissection is probably going to be really exciting, and I'm super stoked when that time comes. Space science is cool, we had a kid in my class last year who was really into it. People thought he was weird though. He seemed nice though, but he would do things that really triggered my inner clean freak. I wonder where he is now. I loveeee genetics but it's not tested in our syllabus as it is more of a university thing so I've put my research on the subject on hold for now. I'm just hoping my grades for history will get better haha! oh that's great! you must be super good at math! I'm not :( I have many favorite colors that change over time and mood but as of now, its light coffee brown! I drink like 5 cups of coffee a week to study lol. My schoolmate says that I'll die of heart issues lol. But I'm thinking if the next doll would be brown, it wouldn't be that interesting so maybe try like a sunset themed doll? like those sunset dip metal bears in those build a bear shops. Or matcha green/sage green which is honestly one of my favs too. I'm a person that is very fickle so what can I say if I have many favs? what's your favorite color(s)? Can't wait to hear from you soon and about the hockey game? update me everything :) okay talk soon! <3
@SeparationAnxietyOverload my favorite color changes all the time too lol. green is almost always one of them, but i also like dandelion yellow and red and tan. i think all colors are pretty. i don’t drink coffee because i think it tastes bitter and my weak little taste buds can’t handle it lol, but my mom drinks like 4 cups a day, it’s crazy. i don’t know if you have this where you live but here we have a chain restaurant called panera bread and they have these caffeine-filled lemonades, but my friend didn’t know that they had massive amounts of caffeine in them so she drank 3 at 8pm. she says that she could feel her heart beating at a mile a minute until like 3am. so if you ever do come here don’t get those lol! i know that you’ll be able to get your grades up eventually. i believe in you!!! math is hard for a lot of people, you’re not alone. i don’t like it much but i’m fairly good at it. we don’t do a ton of genetics stuff either, at least not until you get to a certain class. then after that we don’t do it as much because the next subject would be something like chemistry and there’s not a ton of genetics in there. i’ll keep you updated on everything! since the game is on monday we have to have a sunday practice, and coach decided that 7 am was a great time to do it. no sleeping in for me lol. talk soon! <3
@toastydoodler
That's so relatable haha! I love green and dandelion yellow is super cool as well. Isn't there a tiktoker online that collects discontinued crayons with the shade dandelion yellow? Dandelions are a super big part of my childhood so I love everything about them :). All colours definitely have a story behind them I think. I love coffee so much lol. I heard about the charged lemonade thing and it's actually pretty dangerous even for a caffeine person like me. 2 people died because they drank that charged lemonade and a large cup of charged lemonade contains 4 times the caffeine level of a can of redbull energy drink. Which is honestly superrr bad for you. The hearing your heart thing is also super bad and like I know (I hope) your friend is okay, just to spread awareness about the caffeine levels (sorry). As you can see, I'm a bit of a geek. I've been listening to a whole lot of crime cases recently, finals are in a week. But yeah, thanks for believing in me! I've booked a private session with my math teacher for revision, so I'm making an effort hehe:). Well, goodluck for the training and take a break after the training and the game. you deserve it! Good luck and talk soon! <3 :)
@SeparationAnxietyOverload i love dandelions too. for me the plant that was a big part of my childhood was tomatoes. my grandparents grow them in their garden so i eat them a lot. they taste so bright, from the acidity. i like them. it’s alright, i’m a geek too! i don’t study crime cases much because it makes me more jumpy than normal but it’s still pretty cool. also i took this photo a while back but since you do photography i thought you might appreciate it :)
sorry if it’s blurry lol. i’m glad you’re getting help before finals! your efforts will give results i promise. i can’t think of anything to write currently because i’m kinda tired but i hope you’re doing well! i’m here for you if you’re not. talk soon <3
@toastydoodler
That's amazing! Ever since you told me about your love for tomatoes, I've planted some, I'll see if I can update you on their progress! :) I get the true crime jumpiness, I sometimes overthink it at night too, but it's a source of focus and entertainment for me haha! The picture is amazing! It looks super nice, with the vibrant colours contrasting with each other <3 Thank you so much! Update me on the game and talk soon! <3
@SeparationAnxietyOverload hi bestie! game’s today and hooo boy there are nerves galore. i have a presentation first period, a math test third period, and a french quiz fifth period. my brain’s going to be fried by the time the game comes around. not as bad as finals (good luck!!!), but who schedules tests on a monday? that’s the worst time to have it. anyway. i’m glad you have something you enjoy! thank you for the kind words on my picture. the sun’s been coming up later and later around here. now my alarm wakes me while it’s still dark out. it’s so much harder to wake up when it’s dark out, in my opinion. i’m like a bear lol, i just want to hibernate when it’s dark. talk soon :) <3
@toastydoodler
omg good luck for it! It's currently 10am right now for me, so its probably over for you. I'm in school right now, it's recess. I'm in the library as usual lol. Wow that sounds really exhausting! I think I'd be fine for everything except the presentation😭. But good luck for everything! I have a mini math quiz today as well, it's not part of my grade though. Thanks for the luck! The start of finals is next Thursday. Wish you all the very best for the game! May the odds be ever in your favor! (Hunger game's reference lol). I'm definitely super hooked on podcasts hehe. No problem, it really is a beautiful picture. And by the way, I did plant a few seeds a while back and I harvested them yesterday! I forgot what it was, but it's like leafy greens. I totally get the waking up thing, I just wanna sleep forever when I wake up but when it's time to sleep, I don't want to sleep haha! I used to be able to wake up super early at like 4-5am but I somehow lost that ability this year and I have been waking up at like 6.30am which is super late and I have to rush to school. I woke up at 6.50 this morning :( and I was late to school, but it was raining and I was excused cause of bad weather. I hate that feeling though. But I would love to try hibernating (weird ik) for like 6 months lol. Well anyway, I hope the game was okay for you and talk soon! :) <3
@SeparationAnxietyOverload wow, you guys have recess? i wish we still did. i haven’t had recess in years but it was so much fun when i did. do you guys ever age out of recess or do you have it until you graduate? we lost our game 6-0 😬 i didn’t get yelled at as much as i thought but at the end my legs hurt so bad! i miss being on jv lol. honestly, it’s kind of unfair that varsity level players who’ve been playing for years have to play with me, who’s only been doing it for two and doesn’t really know what i’m doing. idk i feel like it would be better if we could play with people our level. but we don’t have the resources to do that, so here i am ***. presenting is hard for me too sometimes lol. when i get up there it gets easier because i can improvise a little but before is really nerve wracking. love the hunger games reference <3 i’m so glad you were able to harvest your plants! i’m sure they were delicious. it reminds me that i have some micro greens to pick. the waking up thing was the same for me! i used to be able to get up well before my alarm but this year i just can’t until i here my alarm ring. i hate being late too, though ironically it happens a lot since my mom isn’t home half the time. she travels for work a whole lot. today for backyard sustainability we were cleaning out an area outside that was super overgrown with vines and weeds. we found a whole table in the back. we’re going to use the space for the class and some projects we’re planning on. i hope your quiz went well! talk soon <3 :)
@toastydoodler i don’t know why it blocked out part of that sentence it wasn’t a swear lol. i wrote i guess. <3
@toastydoodler
yeah we do until like the end of high school but we continue to have it later on just that instead of recess it's called "lunch". What did you guys do during then? We are given only 30mins though, either to eat or play. So it's more of a free period really. It's ok, I hope your teacher didn't yell that much :/ I totally get the leg pain, leg cramps have been horrible for me this year. It should be established so that you're only playing with people of the same experience, I wonder why they got to have the upperhand :( It's totally natural you're feeling that way, I would too to be honest. The improvising gets easier to do once you keep doing it, I think that's pretty good because social skills are important even though I hate doing social things. Haha! I love the hunger games, but i didn't like Peeta nor Gale. Idk why 😭. I just thought that Katniss would be better off by herself (with Prim and her mom). Even though when I tell people they say I'm selfish because Katniss was happy with both of them and that she felt good around both of them. Can't really argue with that though. Yup! My mom made it into a stew! I love waking up early, I just hate it when I wake up late. I love being punctual. OMG I love that! I love cleaning and everything about it. I sometimes get into a cleaning frenzy when I see something out of place and I end up cleaning the whole room. It's therapeutic and even more so with professional tools. I hope you had a good time! It sounds quite tough and cleaning can be exhausting but fulfilling especially when done for a cause! I always want to go to beach cleanups but I can't. The quiz went fairly well and I hope I get an A. Thanks for talking and Talk soon! <3
P.S. It's fine! I think they blur out abbreviations like I.G. that stands for I guess. It's all good! Thanks for talking :)
@SeparationAnxietyOverload your house is probably so nice and clean. i’m fine with cleaning but i hate putting away laundry it’s just so maddeningly slow for me. unfortunately this leads to me keeping all of my clothes in the laundry baskets and they get all wrinkled. not a great habit but at this point i don’t have time to fix it lol. second game today, lost 3-0. it felt super hot and the sun was so bright. its image has been superimposed on my retinas lol. i ran 6 miles total in the game 😥 I’m so tired. i hope you’re doing well. today in gym we hiked and since there’s a reservoir near our school we walked to the little beach area and skipped rocks. that’s my hidden talent and i got to show off ;) it’s all in the wrist. you want to get a lot of spin on it and flick with your wrist, and choose a skinny flat rock. don’t get a round river rock. it was really fun. talk soon :) <3
@toastydoodler
nah not really. It can get cluttered sometimes, and it's usually only my room that I meticulously clean because the rest of the house is just beyond my control haha. I do get irritated sometimes about the cleanliness and I always wear socks when I am stepping out of my room because I cannot stand the thought of stepping onto any dirty (if) surface. I get the laundry thing, sometimes I force myself to handwash certain clothes like my school uniform before I shower, so if I want to shower ASAP, I have to do the task anyway. It's a good way for me I guess. The rest of the clothes that don't need to be handwashed go straight to the washing machine lol. I hope it wasn't too tiring but 6 miles is ALOT. My fitness teachers usually only get me to run 2km every lesson, which is two times a week. I hope it isn't too tiring, especially with the heat. I love beaches! except for sandflies and mosquitoes, one time I sat on the sand with a book and the sun was setting, it was super poetic. But reservoirs are nice too! just that over here, it's really hot and humid. That is so cool. I always used to try but then it would just plonk into the water. I should try it sometime. I'll definitely think of your tips the next time I go to a lake or something. Happy you had fun :) Talk soon! <3
@SeparationAnxietyOverload i love reading on the beach, it’s such a vibe. we lost our game again today. i’m so glad it’s the weekend and i can sleep in tomorrow lol. i hope i’ll have some me time. there’s a show i’ve been wanting to watch and i haven’t had time to. the art looks really cool. sorry this is so short, i haven’t had a lot of time lately. i’ll try to get in a longer one tomorrow. talk soon <3 <3 <3 :)
@toastydoodler
Me too <3. honestly I think you tried your best and it's important to have some rest. Yes, watching a new show is definitely a nice treat during the weekend. I think I'm going to Malaysia later and coming back ON THE SAME DAY which is bad and tiring so I get you. It's totally fine and take your time! <3 :))
@toastydoodler
We just went to clean our apartment there are get some clothes that we left there from our last visit because we won't be going back soon. That's amazing! I love taking naps but hate the grogginess when I wake up that usually sticks with me the whole day, but today I took a timed nap and I woke up quite fresh :) It's nice that you're doing the things you love. I came back from the short trip thing to Malaysia already so I'm writing this at like midnight lol. No, most events have been halted because of finals haha. It's the second big thing and then the first big thing is the holidays after. I did actually, but only to submit the pictures. I can live without my phone though, I'm reassured that I completed my submission. I can try sending you a picture of one of my submissions. The theme I'm going for is beauty in monotony :). It's not the best, it's usually the camera that helps me get good pictures haha! But thank you for the compliment <3 I wish we had seasons here, it'd be very nice. but some people are celebrating Halloween here already. I don't have the social battery so I'm just studying to get GPA 4.0 overall. I hope you enjoy the autumn and take some nice pics! I totally get it, sometimes I just tell myself to take a long break until guilt kicks in and my studying motivation is just conscience 😭. I love archery! My parents say I have good aim but sometimes I feel awkward holding the bow. Good job for hitting the marks! I have went to so many fairs to play the games and got sooo many plushies (some based off pure money blowing) but I have a huge pile and I make sure to hug everyone before I sleep and say goodnight to them. at this point there basically my friends. Ok, good talk, talk soon! <3
@SeparationAnxietyOverload i’m glad you had a nice nap! in theory i like naps but when the sun’s out i can never sleep. i also have a huge pile of stuffed animals! there’s like fifteen on my bed atm they take up more space than i do. what are the holidays after finals like? do you get time to rest or is there a ton of stuff you have to do by the time you get back? i can’t wait for the next holiday here but it’s not for a while. tomorrow i have fiber arts so i can get my tie dyes back. since it was nice a few days ago the teacher brought us outside and did tie dye with us. i can’t wait to see what they look like! i felt like a mad scientist while i was doing it. it was really fun. have you ever done tie dye? this was my first time. i have a test tomorrow. i hope i do well. talk soon bestie <3 :)
@toastydoodler
thanks! I basically live for the dark. In the morning I always keep my shades closed like a vampire haha! Well, basically the finals are at the end of each year and for us, it ends around 1 oct. Our holidays after the finals start from 15 oct to the end of the year. Then next year, we start a new grade. It's pretty different I think from the American school systems. What are yours like? I heard that there are summer, spring and winter break? How does it work? That's nice! i haven't done tie dye but I have watched videos of those cool rainbow cyclones. I'll love to try it. Haha! I'm sure I'd feel the same way. But I'll probably wear a white shirt and let all the possible stains do its thing and I'd have 2 artistic shirts! Hope you have fun and get back your tie dye! Talk soon bestie! <3
@SeparationAnxietyOverload that’s actually pretty similar to how we do it up here! our break is in june, i think because of the hemisphere difference. we have a short break at the end of november (like 3 days plus weekend), then a longer one in december, february, and april (like one week). then we get out in june until late august. i couldn’t get my tie dye back today because my teacher was out, but hopefully i’ll get it on wednesday. we tied our game today 0-0. not great but better than we have been doing. do you like garlic bread? sorry that’s really random but you mentioned vampires and they can’t eat garlic so like. thought of that. i have to go shower and sleep now but have a good day or night! thanks for the chat, talk soon! <3 :)
@toastydoodler
oh I see! That's pretty cool. It's sad you didn't get your tie dye back but what did you guys do when your teacher was out? That's a major improvement yayyy! I'm okay with garlic bread, I can eat like maximum 3 slices, because I get nauseous when I consume too much garlic. I have a weak stomach :/ What's your favourite food? Oh yeah and before I forget, here's the link to my picture, I tried putting it in but it exceeds the size limit. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1stznCvfaye91MXnI4Wl3ALnKSM6Zc-Kx/view?usp=drive_link. Okay good talk! Cya bestie! <3 :)
@SeparationAnxietyOverload omg dude that is such a good picture like my jaw actually dropped. i’m so glad you could put that in the competition because it’s sure to win. while the teacher was out we just had to fill in a little sheet form thing about the unit and what we liked and what was hard. same here for the garlic bread i just feel so bleh and bloated but i still love it. there are so many delicious things out there but i’ll say that a good macaroni and cheese is my favorite. not the kraft boxed mac and cheese but the kind you get at a restaurant that’s baked and cheesy and uses the big pasta. i love pasta. what’s your favorite food? i hope you’re doing well! talk soon bestie <3 :)
@toastydoodler
HAHA thank you you just made my day. Sounds pretty boring but I hope your teachers for the other lessons were there. I love macaroni!!! But I like ravioli and fettuccine. I like squid ink and carbonara :) But my favourite foods are Korean foods like bibimbap, kimbap, samga kimbap, anything Korean <3. I have a final tomorrow on Chinese :(( I'm gonna cry out of anxiety i swear. I'll update you after talk soon bestie! <3
@SeparationAnxietyOverload i’m glad i helped your day be better! good luck on your final. i’m here if you need to talk. i have so much to tell you! it has been a (tw caps) CRAZY day. it started out nice because in backyard sustainability we made hot raspberry applesauce and it was delicious. i got to go pick raspberries out back and it ended so nice and warm. i told myself “no matter what it will be a good day because i had delicious applesauce” but i should’ve just held my tongue because the very next period we had a shelter in place (we all stay in our classrooms even after the bell rings because there’s a threat). eventually we were evacuated out to the track. there were police officers everywhere. they brought in sniffer k9s and everything. it was pretty scary once we realized it wasn’t a drill. we stayed at the track for like two hours until it was safe. there had been a bomb threat from one of the lower grades that they had to take seriously. i went to biology after and we were reading about osmosis and water potential and one of the cases was like “this lady was running a marathon in high heat and forgot to eat her energy gel and drank a whole lot of water and she puked, collapsed, and was pronounced brain dead a week later. it was so fast i swear i got whiplash. i became very glad i had an energy gel for the game! then i had book club during lunch. at the end of the day we were held in (tw caps) AGAIN because apparently someone had to be taken out to an ambulance. we ended up late for the game and i got hit in the leg. we lost 8-1. now i’m heading home. i just want to sleep so i can process everything dude. hopefully your day wasn’t as insane as mine. talk soon <3 :)
@toastydoodler
hehe thanks, the examination went pretty okay (I'm hoping I don't jinx it) but yeah. The applesauce sounds so good! I don’t particularly like raspberries, they make my tongue hurt. But it sounds sooo good. I would love to have that elective! I’ve never experienced anything like that before, it seems pretty scary. Once, in the Philippines a restaurant made us go under our tables and made it seem like there was a terrorist attack but it was just a surprise birthday. It sounds pretty scary actually. I only went through drills, it must be really scary being in a place with a suspected bomb :( I hope you’re fine. Wow that’s pretty interesting, I never knew energy gel was so important. But on a serious note, it seems pretty sad for American students to constantly live in fear of their lives, it doesn’t make sense. (sorry if this offends you, it’s just my inner debater) while on the other side of the earth, there are privileged individuals like us who are in schools having drills about these things that’ll probably never happen, laughing while we’re being “evacuated” because we can skip math or something. It just seems so preposterous. Your day does sound super eventful! I wish I had a book club, not many people in my school like books :/ an ambulance coming to my school is like once every million years I swear, hoping it stays that way though. Ouch, are you okay? I hope you’re fine or at least got benched throughout the game. It’s fine, on the bright side, the number 8-1 is 7. My favourite number hehe! What’s yours? Have a safe walk back home. My day was super uneventful, just exams, revisions and now I’m at home studying. You should probably get some rest, I’d be in shock if I were you. Have a nice nap/rest, and talk soon! <3
P.S. (TW: School attack) There was this rare incident at one of the high schools in my country, it was national news to us because it was so rare to have a threat in schools. Guns are banned here, but then this student grabbed an axe and started going around the school to find victims. I’m pretty sure he murdered one classmate of his :( Everyone was going berserk and the people in the classrooms had to lock the doors and zip the windows and everything. I’m sure that they were so scared. I can send you the link to one of the articles if you want. Talk soon, bestie! :)
@SeparationAnxietyOverload i’m number 7 on my softball team! what a cool coincidence. i wish you were able to have a book club, it seems like you’d really like it. i’ll keep you posted on what we’re reading. it is really sad that that’s the reality for us. i wish we had tighter gun control laws so it wouldn’t happen, but a lot of people like being able to have a g*n. i get that they like to hunt and stuff, but keep it secure! don’t leave it where people can get to it and use it and for god’s sake don’t give a teenager a g*n! last year we had more shootings than days here. i remember my math teacher was saying how we’ve learned that throwing things at the shooter and screaming at them and stuff is the better course of action (not best, because in that situation there is no best), but i wonder how many people had to die for us to learn that. the axe thing sounds really scary, but it’s nice to know that it doesn’t happen too much where you are. stay safe out there, even if it’s a low possibility. talk soon bestie <3
@toastydoodler
That's nice! I love July as well, because it's the seventh month. I would like that. How does the book club work? Yeah I suppose that’s true. I heard in Canada people are hunting enthusiasts and that they like to have guns to hunt. I think it’s just me being mad at the laws that are so dumb. I hope that in the future the laws will be amended. That’s really sad, considering that over here they teach us not to be the hero and stuff (I’m sure for you guys it started off like that as well) it’s sad that you guys have “experience” dealing with these things and I really hope that one day everyone will be safe <3. Thank you so much and you stay safe too <3 Thanks for talking bestie :)
@SeparationAnxietyOverload i like july too (mostly because i don’t have to be in school lol). in a book club you and a group of people pick out a book to read together and you all read a certain amount by the next meeting and then you talk about it. right now we’re each reading a graphic novel about a greek god or goddess. it’s really fun. i hope the laws get amended too. it’s raining today. it’s nice. i think i’m going to get a cup of tea and sit on the couch. i like rainy days. do you drink tea? i think it’s nice, especially when it’s cooler out. maybe i’ll make bread today. who knows. i’m hoping for a nice lazy day as a break from all of the hectic activities. i hope your day is nice and calm too. talk soon bestie <3 <3 <3 :)
@toastydoodler
That's nice! Sadly July is after our holiday but I love it because it's usually rainy, unlike the super sunny weather and it's also my birthday month. What's your birthday month? That sounds amazing, I hope that when I graduate from my secondary school I can go to a Junior College (basically a school before college) and start up a program for aspiring podcasters/readers/writers. I think it'd be really nice. I love that theme! Especially because Song of Achilles is on my TBR list (idk if it's truly considered a Greek god book but close enough i guess.) Sounds so relaxing. A typhoon from Indonesia just swept past my country and it was pretty intense, many trees got uprooted and it was pretty scary. I wasn't affected and I slept through it :( I've been taking way too many naps lately. Just now I took a nap (it's night time for me now by the way) and it wasn't planned so I have to make up for the 3 hours spent after my bed time :( next week will be the most hectic because everyday has an exam, or multiple. It's pretty scary so I have to study a lot this weekend or I won't have another chance. I hope the rain is nice, I'm currently listening to podcasts about the Korean Education System, it's pretty sad. But I hope you're doing okay! I'm thinking of writing a crime fiction book or talk about crime cases as a personal hobby, or do it for my school's Self-Initiated Learning (SIL) program. No one really puts effort into it but I want to, it seems fun. but I do want to make my grades stable before pursuing an ambition. Have you read a good girl's guide to murder? Something like what Pip is doing but I'm not solving the case. (that'd be pretty cool but I suppose problematic, especially with laws and safety and stuff) I do want to buy some fake unsolved case files to test my detective abilities. It'd be a very nice after-exam activity. I do want to read a whodunnit book and use a whiteboard to try to find out who before the book ends. Two biggest things I want to do after the exams which is in 2 weeks. So yeah, thanks for listening and sorry for the long chat. I hope you enjoy the peaceful day after the hectic week and have a great weekend bestie! <3 :)
@SeparationAnxietyOverload you really love true crime! i’m glad you have something to help you relax. that does sound cool. i’ve been wanting to read song of achilles too, but every time i look for it in the library it’s always taken out :(. have you seen the show wednesday? i feel like you’d like it. if you’ve ever seen the halloween movie “the addams family” it’s based on that about the teen daughter who’s at boarding school and is working to solve murder cases. it’s one of my favorites. hopefully after exams you’ll be able to get more sleep. it’s ok to take naps if you need them so don’t beat yourself up. your week sounds very tiring. make sure you get a good nights sleep! don’t worry about long messages i love hearing from you. talk soon bestie <3 :)
@toastydoodler
haha yes I really do love true crime! Same! The libraries here are limited when it comes to exclusive books. I'm thinking of buying a kindle or a kobo. I have watched the recent one, but I haven't watched the older ones. I heard season 2 is coming out and I'm so hyped up! Thanks for the reassurances, my exams are ending on 1 oct, and I'm thinking to go out with my friend to celebrate. Hoping everything is going well for you too :) Good talk, and talk soon bestie! <3
@SeparationAnxietyOverload i’m super excited for season two as well! they said it was going to be more nitty-gritty. it’s not long until october first. it’ll be over soon! celebrating with your friend sounds like a great idea. what are you thinking of doing? october first is picture day for me. i hope i’ll look nice for it but with my luck it’ll probably be super muddy. we just finished our hiking unit :( today we went to the rocks about a mile out from the school but we couldn’t stay to skip rocks on the water since we had to get back before the bell. it was really pretty though. i couldn’t take a picture since i didn’t have my phone but you would’ve liked it. we found a few maple trees on my family’s property and i need to figure out a way to mark them so i know which ones to tap in the winter. i was thinking fluorescent paint, what do you think? nice taking with you :) talk soon bestie <3
@toastydoodler
yay! I think I'm probably going to watch it after school semester ends though. Another exam down, it was listening comprehension and Chinese comprehension day. I'm drained but I have a math exam tomorrow and history exam the following day. So I have to study math and history today and history tomorrow and geography. If that makes sense. Yup, I'll just have to survive until then haha. I was thinking of going to a new restaurant to eat Korean food. I love Korea so much. That's pretty much it, I don't have a lot of time to spend with my friend though. For us, picture day is just sprung randomly so we never know when 😭 But I think you'll look stunning! (all my past pictures have sucked) That's nice! It's pretty cool to have a class where you can hike, for the exam season we go home immediately after the exam, and we have no classes after that. So it's pretty mundane, except for the fact your literal GPA is on the line :( But I look forward to the next time where you can skip stones! I love maple trees! They're always so pretty, willows too :) Fun fact of the day: Did you know that once a singular willow tree gets affected by a pest, they produce a chemical to alert all the willows around it in a radius of 3m? Then all the other willows protect themselves from the pests by adapting I guess. It's pretty cool! I was thinking that too! And I would paint little quotes on them so whenever I walk past them I can see the quotes and be happy. P.S. Have you read The Middler by Kristy Applebaum? If not, I'll tell you all about it in the next message. It has something to do with the signs on the trees. Anyway, thanks for talking and I hope you enjoy your classes! Talk soon, bestie! <3 :)
@SeparationAnxietyOverload that sounds exhausting! i’m sending you some energy from over here ⚡️ someday you should live in korea. i think it’d make you really happy. lol its ok my pictures don’t look good either. we only ever know because they give out money form things to pay for pictures. next gym unit is either flag football or soccer (but you guys call it football americans are weird i know), not my favorite. willows are so pretty! i went to this old restaurant in a pretty rural area and they had two giant old willows! they were so pretty. i wonder how long they’ve been there, a hundred years at the least is my guess. that’s a cool fact! nice of them to let the others know to prepare :) i haven’t read that one but you seem excited so i bet it’s cool. i can’t wait to hear about it! good luck on your finals 🍀 talk soon bestie <3 :)
@toastydoodler
Hi sorry for not replying the week is almost over and I can text you regularly like in 5 days yay! I really think I should live in Korea for a year maybe. It's fine! I'm sure your pictures look good :) Well, sorry for the short message I really needa go study and I'll text you more soon! Talk soon bestie ❤
@SeparationAnxietyOverload no worries! good luck on finals again. you’re so close!!! i’m sure you’ll do great. you’re very smart. chat when you can <3 <3 <3 :)
@toastydoodler
thank you so muchh <3 I can finally use my devices cause it's the weekend, and I have to study for Literature, Biology, Physics and Chemistry. I'm almost done! I hope everything is fine on your end as well. Thanks for understanding <3 Talk soon! <3 :)
@SeparationAnxietyOverload i have a game today i’m kind of nervous for, but after is the weekend so yay. you’re this close 🤏 to being done! make sure you get a good nights sleep. good luck 🍀! you’ve got this. go for it bestie <3 <3 <3 :) talk soon
@toastydoodler
good luck for it! I hope you had fun, I'm studying poems and The Giver by Lois Lowry. Yup, I'll bear with it! Thanks hehe! I will be pulling an all nighter today though. But I'll make sure to take care for myself. I hope you do too! Talk soon bestie! <3
P.S. Olivia Rodrigo is coming to my country in 2 days!!!!!!! (TW: caps) IM SUPER EXCITED OMG OMG OMG. But I can't go to the concert. :( But it's fine because I can watch it after my exams and I'll be as free as a swallow. So yeah, talk soon! <3 :)))
@SeparationAnxietyOverload i remember reading the giver! the ending made me sad but it was a good book. i didn’t know that she would be there, that’s so cool! maybe someday you’ll be able to see her in-concert. “free as a swallow” is such a pretty phrase! i’m definitely going to use that sometime :) the game went alright. we lost again. talk soon bestie <3 <3 <3
@toastydoodler
yay! The ending was pretty sad :( have you read the other books in the series? I'm super excited and hopefully I'll bump into her (wishful thinking haha). I hope you're doing okay, especially with the loss, but maybe you guys will do better the next game. Exams are ending in 2 days! Talk soon! <3
@toastydoodler
oh and by the way, have you heard of the Royal Commonwealth Society Essay Competition?
@SeparationAnxietyOverload
I know America isn't part of the Commonwealth (correct me if I'm wrong) but I think it's a pretty dope competition. The submissions have closed already and I submitted mine. A winner from every category will get a 1 week fully paid trip to London to meet the queen and it'd be super coollll. It may be wishful thinking to hope to get the top one though, but I'm still hoping! Like the level of pride that one may experience when their entry is declared best of their category honestly would wipe out my insecurities for life. But anyway, look forward to your next message! <3
@SeparationAnxietyOverload that sounds really cool! i hope you win. how many people submitted entries, do you know? america isn’t part of the commonwealth (sadly, that sounds really cool). what was your entry about? you don’t have to answer is it’s too personal. i’m sure it was amazing. lol no i haven’t met her either. i read a few of the other ones in the series but trey didn’t have the full collection at my school. have you read Number the Stars? it’s another book by her. i thought it was good. talk soon bestie! so close to the end of finals!!! <3 <3 <3 :)
@toastydoodler
hehe thanks!! I've no idea but I'm sure it's in the tens of thousands 😭. There was a theme and it is like protecting our Commonwealth and I chose the topic of "A dialogue with your grandparent". I'll try to find my entry, it's from April. It'd be such an honor though, imagine like meeting the president. I haven't! I'll be sure to check it out. talk soon! I'll tell you how my literature final went. Bye bestie! <3 :))
@SeparationAnxietyOverload that sounds like a cool prompt. i’m sure you’ll do awesome on your final! you’ll never guess what happened last night. somehow my family ended up with last-minute tickets to a baseball game for our favorite team. it was awesome. since it was the last game of the season we were able to go down onto the field after! it was so cool. also some random vendor gave us a giant bag of popcorn on our way out. i’m talking 3 feet tall, we have popcorn for days. the leaves are starting to turn now. there’s a picture i took of it through the bus window 
it’s sideways i think but that’s some of what’s coming. talk soon bestie <3 :)))
@toastydoodler
Yeah it's pretty cool I guess. Hehe thanks, I'm finally done with my exams! I'm happy but sad and angry at the same time. That's amazing! Oh my god that's super cool. Sounds like an awesome day. Wowww I love it. Honestly I wish I could see autumn in full bloom. Olivia Rodrigo is here and she is having another concert tomorrow, it's nice. I really really want to go, the prices are at an all time low and I really really really really wanna go. it's like a one in a hundred opportunity and I'll probably kill to go. I'm upset and stuff but I feel so dumb and like entititled but I really wanna go. Like I never ask for anything just give me this. But oh well. Talk soon! ❤
@toastydoodler
sorry but I really do need to rant. So stuff happened after I sent the previous message. I was out shopping just now when I sent the message to you, and when me and my family went home, my dad decided to buy me the tickets for the concert. He told me that he knew I was working really hard and then said that he was going to buy me. But my sister and my mother were very against the idea of me going to the one and only thing I want and said it was too expensive when the prices were only 200 dollars, which is the lowest. And like I was so mad because I felt so happy and hopeful when my dad said that and I totally appreciate him but like when they started to talk and bring up the bad stuff, they managed to dissuade him. I was so angry and so sad and so annoyed that I just stormed to my room to cry. It's badd. I feel so annoyed, angry, frustrated, and guilty. They were talking about prices when my mother probably blows more than that on shopping weekly and my sister literally is going on a trip alone that costs so much to China for 5 days in 3 weeks. Like what the heck! And I'm not allowed to go to a concert that I've been dying to go to (and they know it!) and it has currently hit the cheapest it's going to be? I felt so unjustified and I was so angry at my mom and at my sister. The worst part is that they were talking in a very gentle soothing way like everything was alright when it is not. I wanted to yell right at their faces to shut up because if nothing that comes out of their mouth helps the situation they shouldn't say it. I felt so annoyed and they even said I don't deserve it just because I said I could "die" for the tickets because at this point I'm going to fling myself off the edge of my windowsill. And the thing is I can never bear a grudge against my family which irritates the living *** out of me because they deserve it and I hate them but a stupid part of me cannot stay mad or ignore them. I just hate my life oh my God. And the worst part is that while that was happening, I was texting my friends and one of them was talking about it and I sort of ranted to her a little and she sent out a announcement on all her social media platforms to try to look for cheaper tickets for me, because she thought price was the issue when it wasn't! My dad was so ready and definitely could pull out a random card from his wallet (this feels very entitled of me) and pay for it but no! It's my mother and sister and everyone else in the world that's literally against me. So yeah I basically stormed to my room and started to tear up so I opened my computer and started to play Minecraft and try to shut up my thoughts but I couldn't. And they kept coming into my room without knocking to try to "dissauade* (tw: caps) ME! The audacity was insane and I really just wanted to kick and just UGH. I have so many homicidal thoughts right now (sorry) and I just cannot say it. I'm such a horrible person. Well anyway, they wanted to console me and stuff and my mom put her hand on my shoulder which I absolutely hate! I hate anyone touching me without consent, I hate any physical contact whatsoever, I hate skin to skin touch. And the fact she thought that it would comfort me to say that other kids don't have such privileges is honestly baffling. I ignored her. I'm going to stay up and read because exams are over but I'm going to ignore everyone but my dad tomorrow. (not because he is willing to pay, but because I feel that he is the only one who can recognise my efforts) again, very selfish and stupid and probably childish of me. Do I regret it now? No. Will I in the future? Probably no. So I'm doing it. Worst case scenario my mom murders me so yeah. (oh sorry I didn't put trigger warning, mb) Well, sorry for the horrendously long stupid rant that is totally devoid of substance, I hope you don't think I'm a horrible human being after this, I just want to be in control of my emotions and go to the concert but I can't do either. I hate how easily I cry and I hate how easily I forget or forgive people that don't deserve it. Maybe I was born to be stepped on. You never know I guess. Thanks for listening. Talk soon <3
@SeparationAnxietyOverload it’s okay. i understand really wanting to go to something and then someone keeps you from being able to, even though it was already going to happen. you’re not a horrible person. we all have wants, and you have been working really hard. she’s your favorite singer too. you’re not in the wrong. i’m glad that you recognize that you tend to forgive and forget, and now that you’ve recognized it you can work on standing up for yourself a bit more. i need to go now but i’ll talk more soon. thanks for trusting me with your thoughts. talk soon bestie <3
@toastydoodler
thanks so much for understanding <3. I have been a wreck lately but I've gotten over it, I'm going to work as an intern at my dad's company after the school semester ends to make money so in the future I can go myself. But I've placed this situation behind me and I'm doing well now. How are you? I hope you're doing okay with everything at school and such. Can't wait to receive the next message from you :) Talk soon bestie!
hiii! sorry it took me so long to respond. something happened (nothing too bad i just overthought and panicked) and i couldn’t respond, and i’ve been in synagogue all day for rosh hashanah. speaking of, shanah tova! i hope i'm not too behind for school when i get back. i’m glad you’re feeling better now. what does your dad’s company do? if it’s not too private. it’s okay to be a wreck sometimes. everyone is. i’m happy you’re okay now though. talk soon :) <3
@toastydoodler
it's totally fine! It's taking me a long time to respond as well, sorry about that. My dad's company is about cars and stuff, I don't know anything else haha! But I think I'll be the one doing the typing and the statistics and stuff. My school laptop went back for repairs so I'm typing this on my phone which is really difficult, I think I'll try to text more often to get used to it. Thank you so much! Anything interesting on your end? I hope you're doing fine. Is shanah tova Bulgarian? I had to search it up haha! 😭 But I love all languages, especially ones that I don't know! Talk soon! <3 By the way, I just read finish Powerless and it was soooo good! Have you read it? Talk soon and I hope you have a great day bestie! <3
P.S. I'm trying to find another app to communicate more efficiently. If you're more comfortable with using 7 Cups, I'm totally fine with it too! I'll update you about the school laptop thing, but in the meantime It'll take me like a day to reply (so sorry) but I won't forget! You'll always be prioritised <3. Thanks and talk soon :)
@SeparationAnxietyOverload i know, i want to look good too. i’m sure that there’s something in this world that i’ll look good in, i just have to find it. dr pepper tastes a little like a mix between coke and root beer. i got to pet my friend’s dog today and she was really cute. her name is maple and she’s very small. i like dogs. do you have any pets? if not do you want any? i want a small pet. a little dog or cat. i think it’d be nice to have a little friend who doesn’t care what my test scores are or how badly i mess up in conversation. i have to go but i’ll try to write more soon. talk soon bestie :) <3 <3 <3
