For @pinkr4dio only
Hello @pinkr4dio
Nice to meet you ^^ my name is naomi and i'm a chinese girl who comes from indonesia. I like listening to music and watching comedy videos. I used to like drawing and reading novels, but now i enjoy watching animations and reading comics :]
How about you? Where are you from?
@pinkr4dio
Hi it’s nice to meet you too!! My name is addison but you can just call me addi. I love music too I’d love to hear more about your favorite songs and musicians! I’m also love to read, I’m not much into comics though I mostly just read fiction novels. Also I live in the states.
@pinkr4dio
Nice to meet you too addi! I like listening to music in multiple languages ( English, Chinese, Japanese ), but i mostly listen to Chinese music nowadays. I like English nightcore songs too a lot, especially sad songs :")
I used to like reading fiction novels as well, my fave was The Land of Stories. What about you?
@pinkKite8784
Oh and my favorite Chinese song is " a little bit sweet" by silence wang. It's a cute romance song and you can check it out if you like :]
While for English songs, i like Alec Benjamin, and a lot of other songs
That’s really coolI I’ll be sure to check that song out! I actually have land of stories in my house, everyone in my family has read it except me but maybe I should try it since I’ve heard so many good things. I love the fantasy and sci-fi genre so I read a lot of Brandon Sanderson (not sure you’ve heard of him but he’s an amazing author). I’m also really into sad songs as well and my favorite artist is Radiohead. My favorite song by them is probably Jigsaw Falling Into Place it’s a great sad song and I definitely encourage you to check it out!
Also maybe tell me more about yourself do you have any pets or anything? I have two chinchillas and a dog.
@pinkr4dio
I think you should definitely try to read the land of stories because its really fun to read. These books are expensive in my country and the English vocabulary is quite difficult for me, but i think it should be fine for you because you're a native speaker (?)
Thanks for your song recommendation and I'll definitely check it out.
I am a cat lover although i don't own any any cats. However, i like to befriend stray cats because ive met some that are incredibly friendly, and they help me a lot during my down days :] my family owns a lot of fishes in my home though. My mom doesn't really like cats but she loves fishes. Can you show me a picture of your pets maybe? :D
Yeah I’ll add it to my to be read list and yes I am a native English speaker unfortunately it is the only language I know. I also love cats I had one when I was little but it ran away and my family has just had dogs since then. When I’m older though I’d love to have lots of cats.
@pinkr4dio it's okay if you can only speak English. Honestly i can't speak Chinese even though i am Chinese, due to the 30-year-long discrimination in my country. In spite of that, I find Mandarin Chinese fascinating and i want to learn it again one day. I'm also learning German right now , but it's quite difficult. Have you ever tried learning a second language?
Yeah my mother’s side of the family is from Mexico and many of them speak Spanish so I’ve tried to learn it a few times. My dad’s side is German so I’ve also tried to learn that. Neither have been successful because I get busy and it’s hard to keep up without a real tutor but I hope that someday I’ll pick it back up.
@pinkr4dio
Yeah i can relate to you as well, i hope one day you'll have time to learn the language again though. I'm busy with school and it's difficult for me to find the time to learn Chinese and other than that, learning Chinese itself is also very time-consuming :"
But sometimes i just feel too lazy to learn the language. And honestly sometimes i feel like a failure because i can't speak the language :" have you ever felt the same way?
Also i just realised that our time zone difference is 12 hours. Like in here it's 10am so i think it's around 10pm there.
Yeah I’m Mountain Standard time (UTC -7) so it’s about 8:30 right now. Also I do relate a lot to what you said. I’ve lived in the states my whole life but my family came from different cultures that I haven’t really put much thought or effort into. I hope to change that but yeah I also get busy with school and activities and stuff.
@pinkr4dio
What does it feel like to grow up in a multicultural family? And do your parents speak their respective native languages?
Honestly it doesn’t really feel any different. My family has lived in the states for so long that both sides are very American with their culture. My parents are pretty much the same way, you don’t see much difference until my grandparents who came from different countries and speak different languages. I think it’d be really great to visit Germany though and connect with some of my German family that I don’t know much about because of the distance.
Is there anywhere you really want to get to travel to?
@pinkr4dio i want to go to Taiwan, Japan, and also Germany and Switzerland. I kind of want to go to China too actually to see the culture of my ancestors.
Which countries have you travelled to?
I’ve actually never left the U.S unfortunately. It’s been crazy with the pandemic, prices, and passport wait times, and it just hasn’t really been the right time. There’s also so much to see within my own country so I’ve just been traveling to the different states which is amazing on its own. I was promised a trip to Germany for my graduation present, but I guess we’ll see if that actually happens. I hope to travel a lot when I’m older though! I’d love to see morrocco, germany, switzerland, and the philippines and so much more.
Where have you travelled to?
@pinkr4dio
That's so cool that you're promised a trip to Germany once you graduate. You're incredibly lucky and i hope it actually happens. Also, can i know what grade you are in right now? For me, i just graduated high school this year :]
I wonder what the US is like, i've never been there in my entire life. I've actually never travelled outside of Asia. I've never even seen snow, spring, and autumn my entire life :( The farthest i've gone is to Thailand and China. I've also gone to Malaysia and Singapore, but that was years ago, so i barely have any memories of my time there. I also want to travel more when i'm older, just like you.
I find it interesting that you want to go to morrocco and the philippines. Are there any reasons?
I’m graduating high school this year and I actually just turned 17 today. Also I just think that morrocco and the philippines are beautiful not just the landscape and stuff but also the people and culture and all those places just sound so cool to see. I tho k it’s crazy you’ve never seen snow before. I live in a state where I see it all the time and I love to go sledding. Also my dog is a black lab her name is Charlie. I also had a pitbull mix but we had to put him down a couple months ago because he got really old.
Also, i really like minecraft too! I used to play the real Minecraft when i was a kid, but when i was in hs, i played crafting and building and also bloxd.io on crazygames. Do you know any MC youtubers? Like DanTDM , Call me Kevin ( my fave ), Stampylongnose, and etc
Honestly I don’t watch a lot of youtube and when I do it’s more for informational stuff but I’ve heard some of those names. And yeah high school is a lot I’m taking 3 college classes too so it’s been pretty busy. Also been planning a little party for my friends and i because my birthday and my friend’s birthday are only 3 days apart!
Also I got on to 7cups because I have really bad anxiety and panic disorder and also depression. Talking to people helps calm me down during a panic attack and makes me feel less depressed, but I don’t really have many friends and with the ones I do have, I don’t really feel comfortable talking to them about it. I also don’t really like talking to my parents about it because the times that I have things didn’t really go well and it was a lot more drama than it was worth. The only person in real life I talk to is my boyfriend which is great but he’s a busy person and I don’t want to put too much pressure on him. So I guess the only other option besides therapy (which I’ve also had problems with) was 7cups which felt a lot more casual and comfortable.
What brought you on to 7cups. Also you can also always talk to me about anything and vent if you need as well!!
@pinkr4dio
What college classes are you taking? I didn't know you can take college classes while you're in high school in the US. Maybe it's just a US thing (?)
I have dealt with quite a lot of hardships in my life. Some are things that everyone experiences from time to time, like loneliness. But some of my hardships are more heavy and difficult to talk about. But i find that venting is an important part of the healing process, so i try to be more vulnerable
@pinkr4dio
Also, it's cool that you're planning a party with your friends. Hope you'll have a lot of fun with your friends! I haven't been to a party in a while actually. Also, your birthday is on 21 January right? Mine's on 8 Feb :D
I’m sorry it took me so long to respond my phone completely broke and it took a few days to get a new one. But yeah my birthday was the 21st and the party was fun!! Yours is coming up pretty soon too what age are you turning and do you have any fun plans?
Also yeah you can take college classes in the US or at least in my state. I’m taking English, Psychology, and Design right now at my local community college. It’s been a great experience and after I graduate high school this year I’ll keep taking more. I hope to get my associates degree through the community college and then continue at a university.
I also think venting is really healing and I’m always here just to listen because that’s sometimes all you need.
@pinkr4dio
That's great to hear that the party was fun :D
It's been a while since i've gone to a party :"))) i usually just stay at home and it kinda gets a bit lonely from time to time honestly. But hey, at least Chinese New Year is coming soon. It's on 29 Jan. Hope it'll be fun because i've been so bored lately :")
I'm turning 19 btw
@pinkKite8784
Unfortunately i don't think i really have any fun plans for my bday :( honestly i don't have a lot of friends irl. I used to (before i switched schools), but now i don't. I'm actually an ambivert who loves socializing, but lately sometimes i just wanna be alone? And i don't really understand why i'm feeling this way lately. Maybe i just wanna be left alone when i'm sad but at the same time i crave other people's attention and support. I'm confused about my own feelings
@pinkKite8784
But i do enjoy talking to you though, and to other people here in 7cups. It makes me feel a little less lonely
@pinkKite8784
And honestly, i've been having an identity crisis lately so i've been feeling sad quite often. I don't feel extremely sad, i only feel a little sad though from time to time.
Have you ever had an identity crisis as a mixed-ethnicity person?
I guess so, but not as much with race. I think my identity crisis comes from not understanding myself or what role I play in my life if that makes sense. I’m sorry that you’re feeling this way though I don’t really know what it’s like to have that sort of crisis.
I do know though how it feels to not really have in person friends. The friends I do have are from school and only know me because they were my boyfriend’s friends first. This party though made them feel a little more like my friends too though so that was really fun!
I hope the new year’s fun! I don’t celebrate because I’m not Chinese so I honestly don’t know much about it. Are there any fun traditions you’re excited for or any parties?
@pinkr4dio
Usually during Chinese New Year i visit my extended family and we eat at my grandma's place together. There's lots of dishes and also fruits, especially Mandarin oranges. And of course, there's angpao! :D ( red envelope filled with money inside ). In malls you can also see barongsai ( dragon-like creature ) dances, people dancing to Chinese music, and also people playing traditional Chinese instruments
How about you? Do you celebrate any Mexican/German festivals?
@pinkr4dio
I think i can kinda understand your identity crisis. I think it's normal to have an identity crisis, especially because you're 17. 17 is the age when people try to find their identity and purpose in life, and maybe even a sense of belonging?
Honestly sometimes i feel like i don't belong anywhere in this world. I don't feel Chinese because I can't speak the language, so if I go to China i don't think i belong there. But i don't feel Indonesian either. I can speak Indonesian well, but I feel like i don't belong here because some people hate me just because i'm Chinese. I just wish that I can find a place where I belong.
@pinkKite8784
Maybe this is why i feel lonely often?
@pinkKite8784
Loneliness is a weird thing for me. I have family and a few friends but for some reason, i still feel lonely? Why is it easier to focus on the negative things instead of the positives?
My family doesn’t have many cultural traditions but we have some. My mexican side has some traditions like having quinceaneras (which i didn’t have because i look way more german than mexican) and women of the family coming together to make tamales in the fall and winter months. Traditions are even less common on my german side, most of it just comes from my family making german foods on holidays.
Also I get what you mean having people but still feel lonely. I’ve sometimes stood in a room full of people and still felt incredibly lonely. I think loneliness doesn’t necessarily mean being alone, but rather feeling alone which can be very different.
It sucks feeling like you don’t belong. When I feel that why I try to focus on the fact that nobody really belongs anywhere and it’s more about how you feel in a place which isn’t easy to control. It’s stupid that there’s supposed to be a place for everyone and that everyone should know what they’re doing or what they want. People will always judge but it doesn’t matter because everyone’s own life revolves around themselves and they’re just projecting. I don’t know if anything I said makes sense. i was just trying to put my feelings into words.
@pinkr4dio
Thanks for listening to my little vent
I've actually never heard of quinceanera before, but apparently it's to celebrate a girl's 15th birthday. In here people usually celebrate a girl's 17th birthday as it's an important transition from girlhood to womanhood. But honestly i miss my girlhood a lot. I miss my childhood innocence the most and the fact that i didn't have to deal with aunt flo back then
Yeah I get you. I’m on my last year before adulthood but it just makes me miss being a kid. I miss not having to think about my future because it seemed so far away.
But i didn’t know people celebrated the 17th birthday like that there. In the US people celebrate the girl’s 16th birthday. Quinces are a Mexican thing. I think it’s cool how that varies by country. Did you do anything cool for your 17th birthday?
@pinkr4dio
Sadly i didn't do anything cool for my bday, i think even some people forgot about my bday back then :") so it was a bit lonely- but at least i had my family though
I also didn't know that in the US, girls celebrate their 16th bday instead of sweet 17th. In my country, some people even throw big parties only on their sweet 17th bday
@pinkr4dio
What's your fondest childhood memory?
That’s crazy it’s called sweet 17th there because it’s called sweet 16th here.
I think my fondest childhood memories are the ones where my family used to get together and play cards and eat and talk. We’d all go to my grandma’s house and hang out in her backyard. Me and my cousins would play on her swingset and basketball hoops or whatever we could find. My family is still close and we get together way more than most families, but it’s been different since my grandpa and uncle died. Not as many people come and it’s not as often.
What about you?
@pinkr4dio
I'm sorry to hear about your grandpa and uncle's passing. But that's a wonderful childhood memory to reminisce about, you're blessed to have a close and loving relationship with your family.
I loved my childhood, mostly at least. I guess one of my fondest memories is hanging out with my then best friend. I also liked to hangout with my family.
That sounds nice. You’re not still friends with your then best friend? I guess a lot of childhood friendships pass, most of mine did.
I still have two friends that I’ve know since I was a baby. One of which I met at daycare which we both joined when we were only a few months old and we kept in touch through letters until we were old enough to have phones. We don’t hang out as much anymore but I still see her every once in a while. I also a friend who’s dad was a childhood friend of my uncle’s and we connected over softball since we were in the same age group and played together. Me and her are still very close we’d have sleepovers all the time with our other friend who we met later on from softball too. She sadly had a stroke a few months ago and can’t really hang out much anymore but she’s still my best friend and always will be even if we can’t see each other often.
Do you have any friends from childhood or best friends now?
@pinkr4dio
I don't really have a best friend rn unfortunately :( so it does get pretty lonely sometimes. I feel like it's because i'm different from other people? I'm not talking about my ethnicity though, i'm talking about my interests and hobbies which are way different than other people, so it's difficult to find a topic that we have in common. Social anxiety doesn't help at all either
But I guess my mom is my best friend right now, we fight sometimes, but overall we have a close relationship, and i'm thankful to have her and my dad in my life :) i used to be close to my older brother as well, but now he lives in Germany, so we don't really talk that much anymore, but i still remember the times when we'd watch Japanese anime together. It was a lot of fun :]
I'm still friends with my then best friend, we still chat but only once in a while as she lives in another country. And yeah, we do tend to outgrow our childhood friendships and even our adolescenthood friendships. Friends always come and go, that's just a natural part of life that we all have to accept, reluctantly
@pinkr4dio
I'm sorry to hear about your friend's health condition, but it's good to hear that you're still close friends with her even though you don't see each other often
Oh and also, i wonder what sleepovers are like. Like, what do girls do on their sleepovers? I heard that people tend to stay up late so that they can watch a movie together with their friends. And i've also seen some memes about what happens when you fall asleep first during a sleepover. Sleepovers aren't really a thing in my country. I guess it's maybe because parents don't want their kid's friends to stay overnight in their house, because it's tiring for the host. Or maybe it's because parents might not allow their kids to stay in their friend's house
It’s great that you have a close relationship with the your parents because I feel like that’s the most important relationship to have.
And yeah I guess I didn’t really know other countries didn’t do sleepovers. They’re super common here and I’ve had probably about a 100 by now. We talk and play games and watch scary movies and bake cookies. There’s a bunch to do during sleepovers but it’s mostly just staying up really late talking. I get why a lot of parents don’t really like sleepovers though because there are a lot of bad people in the world.
@pinkr4dio
Why do you think that our relationship with our parents is the most important relationship?
I also don't know if sleepovers are common in other countries or not, but i was surprised when you said that you've had 100 sleepovers already, that's a lot. I've never even had one my entire life. But yeah, you're right, there's quite a lot of bad people in the world, that's why we need to keep our guard up. And also, my country unfortunately has a quite a lot of SA cases, so it's not the safest country to be a girl, but it's thankfully not the worst country either. Maybe that's one of the reasons why sleepovers aren't really a thing? How about you though? What does it feel like to be a girl in the US? Does the US have women-only buses like in my country?
I just think that parents shape the way we grow up and act so much that it’s important to have a good relationship with them. I’m lucky to have the parents I do, I believe they were a big reason I’ve been able to accomplish what I have.
That’s scary to live in a country with a high number of SA cases. I’m not sure what the number is here but it’s normally fine in the suburbs but downtown can be a bit scary. Also I had no clue there were women only buses in Indonesia. That’s really smart though because the buses here can be pretty scary too. I do feel really lucky though to live in my country as a woman. I hear about the countries where women hardly have any rights and it makes me sad to think that so much time has passed and how little has changed. Besides the catcalling from old and/or homeless men, it’s pretty good here for me. I’m allowed to wear and do pretty much everything a man can and my education system also really promotes women through scholarships and other programs specifically for women which is really nice. How is it being a woman in Indonesia?
@pinkr4dio
Honestly being a woman in Indonesia is actually not too bad for me, but i feel like i was lucky because i had many privileges growing up, that I took for granted as a kid. Like in my Chinese family, my parents actually want a girl because their first kid is a boy, so i never felt like i was unwanted growing up. However my other Chinese-Indonesian friends aren't so lucky. Some Chinese families still favor boys over girls, and they make girls do all the housework because they think it's a girl's duty. Some people also think that girls don't really need a high education unlike boys, because girls will end up becoming housewives after they're married anyway. Native Indonesian culture is also pretty patriarchal, although i've never asked my friends about their experiences about growing up as a native indonesian girl though. But yeah, the sad truth is some girls tend to feel unwanted by their parents, just because they were born a girl. And that's messed up
@pinkr4dio
Also, are there any privileges that you had growing up, but you took them for granted as a kid?
Yeah it’s actually not super uncommon here for people to favor sons too. I’ve heard a lot about dads in particular being really unhappy when they find out their baby is a girl. I’m lucky my family wasn’t like that.
I did grow up in a financially stable household and as a kid, I didn’t really know how many people didn’t. I’m very grateful for that now but I wish I noticed that earlier. But I mean mostly there were just some things I miss like people not expecting certain things from me and I didn’t have to be perfect.
@pinkr4dio
Can you explain more on what you mean by people expecting certain things from you and the need to be perfect?
Also, do you think you took freedom for granted as a kid?
I guess I just mean that things are so serious now and I miss not having to worry about anything. All that was expected of me was to go to school and play with my toys but now I need perfect grades and I need to look and act a certain way.
And honestly yeah I took freedom for granted. I’ve been very lucky to live the way I have, I just didn’t really realize it. What about you? Do you feel like you took your freedom for granted?
@pinkr4dio
Yeah, i miss my carefree childhood too when i didn't have to worry about a lot of things, but hey at least we got to experience it even though our childhood is over now. Also, i can kinda relate when you said that people expect you to have perfect grades. Are you a top student maybe? Nobody expects me to have perfect grades, except for myself, and it's tiring, especially because i'm also currently struggling with stage 4 procrastination, sometimes i think my procrastination is incurable at this poi t lol
I get that so much procrastination is a big problem for me too. But yeah I always got perfect grades when I was little and I guess my family just expected that to continue throughout my whole life so it’s a bit stressful. I am pretty good at school though and I honestly don’t hate going anymore so that’s been nice. I don’t know if you do the grading system the same as in the US but I have a 3.9 gpa (out of 4.0) and it’s been a struggle to maintain it. But I am almost done with high school so that’ll be a relief (even though I’m continuing my education anyway). Are you a school person or a person who doesn’t really like school? And I know you said you graduated high school but are you doing any college?
@pinkr4dio
In our grading system the highest grade is 100. But that's a very impressive score that you've achieved, great work! I'm not doing college right now, i'm in a German language school right now
@pinkr4dio
Also i don't really like school very much, but i can't really avoid it
@pinkr4dio
And yeah i definitely took my freedom for granted as a kid
German language school? That’s really cool why are you doing that? I think I remember you saying something about your brother being in Germany?
@pinkr4dio
Yeah my brother works in germany, he says the pay is a lot better there than in my country. In my country a lot of people are overworked and underpaid, so i'm actually planning to work in germany too, so i can live a better life
That’s so cool I’d love to live in Germany too. What kind of work do you want to do there?
@pinkr4dio
I'm not sure actually, but i do want to go to college there and then work. I'm planning to major in business
Also how was your day today? Today is my bday but it's a bit lonely as usual because some people forgot my bday sadly :")) but at least ive got my family and the very few friends i have. I am thankful for them. I hope your day went well
Oh and also btw if you've got some funny memes that you wanna share, feel free to share them with me. Maybe it can help cheer me up.
I've got a few actually, like i like watching steven he and uncleroger on Youtube. They usually like to joke about stereotypical Asian things like tiger moms expecting you to have perfect grades. I feel like because they're both Chinese just like me, that's why i can relate to them quite a lot ( sadly ). I know you don't have Chinese parents but i think you might be able to relate to having to have perfect grades and dealing with other people's expectation of you. I have some other memes too, but i'll tell you later
So sorry for all the late replies there’s been a lot going on recently. Also happy birthday I’d love to hear about it like if you did anything fun?! Also I’m honestly not a meme person I don’t actually see them that often but I’d love if you got me into that sort of thing. I don’t even watch YouTube very much either I spend my free time either reading or on ***.
Also yeah I can definitely relate to the pressure of having perfect grades. It’s actually less coming from my parents and more about me trying to prove something to myself. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how the only thing I’ve ever been really good at is school and getting perfect grades, which is why I really push myself. I have no talents or exciting hobbies and that’s really scaring when coming up on adulthood because now I have to pick a path for my life and I have no clue what I’m interested in or what I’d be good at. Do you ever feel that way?
@pinkr4dio
I feel the exaxt same way as you. My chinese parents are actually not like the stereotypical chinese parents, they're very chill when it comes to grades. But i feel like the only thing that i can be proud of is my grades. Thats why everytime my grades drop, i feel like a disappointment and a failure. But you have to realize that your grades don't define you and that you are inherently worthy and your self esteem shouldnt be measured on your achievements or failures
Also whats been going on in your life lately? I hope everythings okay. Ive been waiting for your message, but i understand that sometimes life can be quite difficult
@pinkKite8784
On my birthday the only thing i did was having a delish meal at a korean bbq restaurant with my family and my friends also got me two cakes which was nice :]
There’s just been a lot going on lately with school and I started a new job too. I’ve had like no free time but yeah everything’s good I’ve just been busy.
Also that’s exciting I love Korean bbq! And that’s sweet your friends got you cakes!!
@pinkr4dio
I hope everything goes well in your new job, and it's okay if you reply to my messages late, i understand that you're busy. Don't forget to take good care of yourself
@pinkKite8784
My name is Fredrik and I'm a British male that likes psychology/typology, travelling locally, journalling, reading non-fiction,and retro video games :3
@camo303xvp
Hello, nice to meet you
I like psychology, travelling, and reading non fiction books too
Do you like to watch psych channels on youtube or read psych self help books?
@pinkKite8784
I generally prefer books. I don't like youtube, i rarely have enough attention to focus on anything for that long anyway.
Youtube is generally more suspectible to misinformation and is also just cringier looking in general.
It's not so much self-help books I read (to be fair my issues are too complex to be solved by vague self-help books) it's more society, philosophy, cognitive psychology, etc
Hi it’s nice to meet you! I also love journaling and reading but non-fiction is not my thing I’d love to try and get into it though if you have any recommendations. Also what are your favorite retro games??