Do I really have OCD?

Your experience is just like mine. I've never been neat, I've never had to wash my hands a billion times, and I never did numerical behaviors like count stairs as I go down them. Then I got diagnosed with OCD and I was like, "Yeah right. Try again."

I came to learn that OCD has many, many varieties. The "hollywood" OCD is the kind described above. Classic hand washing, neat, symmetrical, etc. That's not how everyone experiences it, though.

There are a lot of different kinds of OCD. I have Pure-O. It lacks a compulsion, so it's an obsessive mind that has no outward symptoms. Instead, I deal with obsessive thoughts that will not go away. I have a fixation on violence. It's really hard for me to let go of the violent thoughts that plague my mind and once my mind fixes on it, it's like lockjaw. I don't have any compulsions, so you won't see me clean my hands, but I will get a flash of an image of stabbing myself in my thigh. It's an intrusive thought.

Some people have OCD in regards to political news. They'll pull out their phone every 15 minutes to check if the President has announced a state of emergency. That's a behavior that (when paired with other symptoms) can fit into the OCD symptom set. Not everyone who checks the news has OCD, but I'm just saying, this action can be part of an OCD related problem.

I know one other person who deals with intrusive thoughts about his relationship. He will suddenly get this overwhelming thought that his wife is cheating on him. There's no logic behind it, because nothing indicates that this is happening, but he's really convinced that it's happening. It feels real to him. He knows he has OCD and he knows his mind is obsessive, so he has to fight that off.

OCD takes a lot of shapes and forms and each of us experience it differently. The best thing to do is to talk to your therapist and ask for clarification.