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Blinkk
1 764 M Little Steps
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts62 Forum posts71 Forum upvotes132 Current upvotes132 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2019 Member sinceJanuary 11, 2018
Bio
I play guitar and I love it. I make a living on music, and right now I write music for film and TV. When I'm not playing music, I'm writing stories. I love to write fantasy and sci fi stories. I write everything from short stories, to novellas, to big fat novels. None of them are any good, so I just keep all that stuff on my hard drive. I'll never actually get published, and in reality, it's nice to have something that doesn't require a deadline, or a huge amount of pressure like the music industry.

I was involved in a family member's death five years ago. I have a tough time with that one. A few years after that, my cat died in a terribly violent way and I was unable to save her. After both those events, I started having wicked OCD symptoms. Terrible Pure-O that came out of the blue. I really don't understand the point of life, because death is everywhere. I struggle with a lot of things now.

I hope to be supportive of all of you guys out there who need it. Love yall's. :D
Recent forum posts
A passing glimpse
Trauma Support / by Blinkk
Last post
January 29th, 2018
...See more Before you read any further, *triggers will show up in my poetry posts*. I will clearly mark these at the top of each post. My other, general posts, I'll keep them clean. I promise. <3 This post is safe. I couple years ago, I was involved in a terrible event. It lasted for three months, and at the end of this horrific experience, a family member died. I was right beside him the whole time. It's really hard to talk about. I actually never talk about it. I miss you Bruce. I never really talk about this experience, and I'm ok with that. Last year, a bear came into my house and mauled my cat. She died - there's so much more to this story and I can't express it. I am so deeply upset by all these violent deaths. I don't understand life. I don't understand why I am here. I don't understand why we are given life at all. I have tried to keep journals, but I lose them. lol I'm a disorganized person. There's a lot of things that I desperately want to say to someone, but I literally cannot speak about it. Even though I'm dying to tell someone, every time I approach that subject, the words just stop. I get very mad at myself for not being able to speak. I am not a coward - in fact I've done some very difficult and brave things. I don't understand why I have this inability to speak. I have been successful at writing poetry. I write it all the time. Most times, even these poems dart around the actual issues, but they express things that I feel unsafe speaking outloud. I don't know if I'll ever be able to express certain things, but for now, poems are all I can lean on. I've had a lot taken away from me, in very sudden and violent ways. To anyone who has suffered violent things, or lost something in a terrible way, I'm so so so sorry that happened to you. I hope you have a place you can feel safe, somewhere.
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