Loved ones affected by the hoarder
Hi!
One of the main reasons of me wanting to move out so badly is my dad's hoarding problem. It got to the point where it's really out of control. And it's so hard like I can't handle living in such conditions anymore. It makes me feel really trapped in my own home. And my dad refuses to get any kind of help including seeing professional which we suggested many times, he isn't able to see his problem, he just straight up ignores when we try to talk to him about it. He gets very angry and he starts shouting and stuff when we get rid of some of his things. Another thing is that he lost track of what he owns and where he stores it and he's very irritated when he's unable to find something he's looking for, he starts blaming and accuse us for that and he gets paranoid about it sometimes. During quarantine I started to see how little of actual space and privacy I have for myself and it affected my ability to preform good in school. And it's just not acceptable I shouldn't have to deal with this, I deserve to live in clean organized environment, it's making the symptoms of my depression way worse. I have been trying to be patient about it but enough is enough, he has been like this for my whole life and I have my own things to focus on. I'm just scared of leaving my mom behind once I'll move out when starting college in less than 2 years. Both my brothers want to leave this house as much as I do and they have plans.
I honestly don't know what to say. But you're not alone and I can definitely relate. My mother has been like that for years and she refuses to get help and trhows a tantrum every time I point out her problem. Most of the rooms are completely unusable and at one point I had to sleep with her in the living room despite the fact that we a 2 bedroom apartment. For years I couldn't invite anyone over because I was so ashamed and that didn't help my grades, depression or my already bad social skills. Honestly it affects me even now especially during the corona. Even thou I'm an adult now it's very unusual to move out without getting married or some other major reason in my country. Even if I could have done that now with the situation it's almost impossible.
@Orangesonata
Yes, inviting people is another thing that's difficult to do because of having to explain to your friends why you live or tolerate living like that. I feel a bit relieved that I'm not the only one having this problem. And I'm sorry you're unable to escape it.
I'll be able to move out right after the pandemic is over. You're definetly not alone and I wish that hoarding disorder or however they choose to call it will be more researched in the future by professionals also more people should speak up about these issues. I wish you luck and I hope you'll be able to get out of that situation too.
Hi there @thetomorrowgirl. First of all, thank you so much for sharing! I know that can't be easy. 
It sounds like you're having a really tough time with your father's hoarding problem. Given the situation, I can underestand any feelings of frustration you might be experiencing. It must be even more upsetting with him refusing to seek professional support, and his lack of recognition about how this impacting your life so much.
It must have been much worse owing to quarantine, and naturally so as I guess you'd be with one another at home 24x7. I can undertand your concerns about your mom, but do you think there is something you could do to still support her? As you rightly said, your mental health matters most It's okay if you want to move out.
If you need more support, we have many lovely listeners here. I have filtered by those comfortable supporting you with OCD, as hoarding was not available as a topic filter. We have group support rooms like the Member Sharing Circle and Support Room 24x7, which you might find helpful. Finally, here's an OCD self-help guide, in case it's of any use :)
Take care and be kind to yourself! We're here and we care. Your mental health matters, and more importantly, you matter!
Your own mental health is important, I hope you're able to get your own space where you set your own boundaries and rules. Your situation sounds very complex and difficult and I wish you the best <3
