Children of hoarders

Hi Guys,

Just wondering if the Holiday Season is more difficult than usual for you all. It would be really helpful to others if you can share any tips you may have :-)

Lucy2

Hi everyone,

Wishing you all Happy Holidays and a very Peaceful New year.

Lucy2

Hi to all you lovely people,

I've been thinking of you all and would love to catch up with your news and how you are coping, so please don't be shy, come on in and have a chat with me.

Lucy2

@lucy2. Hi , just found this thread, I have a mother who has hoarded for 4 decades, I have helped clean up 3 times, but it never fails, she goes back to the hoarding in a few weeks, the last time I helped her was 2009, she is alot older and so am I ,now she and my dad are moving to be closer to me and my family, I am dreading getting involved, I have general anxiety and episodes of depression, I have been feeling really good for awhile, and don't want to get in over my head

Hi there @jr50

My heart goes out to you I take it that you are pleased to be having your parents move closer to you. Of course, this means that you will not doubt feel obliged to help with the move and the inevitable struggle when they have to part with some belongings. It will be stressful, there's no doubt about that but you have to think of your own health too. It may be an idea to suggest they start de-cluttering well before the move as you are not in the best of health at the moment and won't be able to give as much help as you'd have liked.

Please, do keep in touch and look after yourself.

Lucy2

@lucy2. Yes, I am happy to have them near by now that they are not physically able to get around well, but I as you said I will feel obligated to help keep their place livable, but thank you for the advice, I am going to suggest that they start downsizing now, and I do need to look after my health first, thank you for your kind words

To again break the silence of another thread, my mom started hoarding her old belongings, including her late boyfriend's stuff (which shouldn't have gone to her because there was no evidence saying so) since 2007 when she bought her current house. The hoarding was mostly in her garage AND in a shed that came with the property, but then there was even some crap lying around in the house AND the yard as well.

I wanted to help get rid of it. But she had problems with her back, her knee, her neck, etc. She neglected to get them treated because she's lazy. There was no one at her home but herself when I was with my dad. Her boyfriend died in 2009, and she never met anyone else to support her, befriend her, etc. to the point her house could look AT LEAST decent. I could've called for help, but it'd be too much money because her job is shit and refuses to get a higher-paying job, so we were poor. And I didn't have a job because of my mental problems.

This could've been more recognizable if her house was closer to other neighbors, but nope. It was secluded from town and others, most of our things rot. Part of it is my fault since I didn't step in to help sooner, but most of the time I lived with her was me being in school as well. I didn't choose the hoarding life. Tho I had a habit of having messy bedrooms in the past, I didn't choose to live with my mom's hoarding. I can say this hoarding came from her boyfriend's passing, her laziness, her isolation/friendlessness, and so many other reasons I just can't name. Jeez. x_x