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I’m struggling today …

i have a big problem with compulsive online shopping. For me, Temu is evil and triggering and predatory for people who struggle with this. I’ve definitely become addicted to it after thinking about past obsessed buying sprees that everyone else has always labeled as a manic spending spree and now my psych nurse says no, that sounds like OCD. So I’m on Luvox and I’m hopeful that it works because I’m struggling today with this whole situation, there’s other reasons why she thinks OCD. I’m really struggling with motivation and anxiety and I know in my heart I’m fine and I’m just stuck in my head but I’m stuck today and now I find out my bonus daughter is coming by with her new boyfriend and it doesn’t look like we’re getting a break from the 10yo bonus son this afternoon either so all my plans are gone in an instant and I’m lost.

I don’t really know what to do with myself right now and it’s just not a good day in my head. I tried to talk with my boyfriend about this and he just didn’t really say anything other than he was sorry. I don’t know what I need right now but I know I need something. I’m just trying not to get myself all worked up about everything but it’s my brain waiting for a full psych evaluation next week and probably an actual diagnosis for ADHD too. I’m overwhelmed. I’m so stressed about this. I’m trying to research everything and I struggle so much.

i just needed to vent I guess. I hope that I make some sense to someone. Maybe you have been where I am. Newly diagnosed but yet still not sure what is what and how to explain everything to the people in my life. It’s hard today. 🥺

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phoebe1119 June 5th

@versatilecat1977 hey there! During moments of overwhelming stress and uncertainty, it's essential to prioritize self-compassion and seek support from those around you. Acknowledge the challenges you're facing with compulsive online shopping, OCD, and anxiety, understanding that recovery takes time and patience. Reach out to your therapist, psychiatrist, or support network for guidance and encouragement tailored to your specific needs. Engage in self-care activities that promote relaxation and well-being, setting boundaries with loved ones to ensure you receive the support you require. Educate yourself about your conditions from reliable sources, taking breaks when needed to prevent information overload. Take small, manageable steps towards healing and celebrate each victory along the way, no matter how small. Stay hopeful and trust in your resilience to overcome these obstacles, knowing that brighter days lie ahead with perseverance and support.

I have OCD and struggle with compulsive shopping also. I’ll go days, weeks or months obsessing over things on Etsy and be strong for a while and then lose will power and make two big purchases at once. Or sometimes it’s just a bunch of unnecessary stuff from Target or even just really over buying snacks that I feel like I HAVE to have in the house from the grocery store. I feel like the hyper focus on the shopping just gives our brains a Brea from whatever stressors we’re facing maybe? Not sure but you’re not alone. Hope you’re having a better week now.

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AnnaTheArtist July 31st

@discreetPomegranate4912 I think you're right, for me its the belief that if I buy something, it will fill _ hole in my heart or stop _ stressor from being so bad. I always find myself "needing" to buy something every time I go out. But in reality, it makes me feel worse because I just make myself guilty for shopping in the end!!!

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versatilecat1977 OP August 1st

@AnnaTheArtist


OMG yes this! Feeding that hole in my soul. I go to the mailbox for packages and experience 12 stages of guilt and depression and anxiety the entire time and then I open everything and I feel even and empty at the same time. It’s exhausting.


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versatilecat1977 OP August 1st

im actually having a great week about shopping- I really haven’t bought much, I forced myself to go to the craft store for one skein of yarn, a couple other specific things and I splurged on a couple storage boxes. But I got out the door under $50 and that never happens at the craft store!

Shopping is definitely doing better. I still have some impulses but I’m not driven. The beast is not overwhelming at the present. I’m more messed up by going off Vyvanse and going on guanfacine and then she has me going from 20 years of klonopin to clonodine and I’m having terrible withdrawals and I had to push back and get her to agree that I can use my extras for emergencies and readjustment is happening but OMG this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.


I got on the generic for Luvox and it’s changed my life. It’s for ocd and intrusive thoughts and it’s stopped the shopping just in time because my boyfriend got laid off and he’s taking a large pay cut so I can’t shop like that anymore. It will ruin everything we’re trying to make happen for us and his 10yo son. I’m responsible for this stuff now.


I am so sorry you’re having this shopping experience too. Fiasco more like! But. No. We’re not alone and we shouldn’t be ashamed or embarrassed but I know you are just like I am when we end up buying a ton of crap we somehow think is Very Important Stuff For X reason and we justify it.


Hugs I’m happy to chat here with you. 💜💜💜😵‍💫

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AnnaTheArtist July 31st

Hi There! I'm sorry to hear you're going through this, compulsive shopping is something I also experience, and its hard to stop. Hope you know you're not alone!! 
Take it or leave it, but something that has helped me is removing things like not going on my computer, not following brands I like to shop on social media, etc. Its a lot easier to let those things go than say no in the moment when I feel like I have to buy things. 
If you're comfortable with it, you should keep us updated! It seems like there are a few of us here going through the same thing, and I'm sure many more also struggling. You're seeking help from a therapist and your loved ones, with a good support system like that I hope you're able to see improvement soon!!

I’m glad you’re in a better place right now! And I’m so glad there are other people fighting the same fight. I really love that I found this place. Just to share and support. Hugs to all.