BFRB
(i hope i'm making this post in the right place, i can't seem to find any other thread with this topic)
possible trigger warning for self harm/ injury
i've experienced pretty severe anxiety for the last few years and one of my symptoms is obsessively scratching and picking my skin, sometimes until it bleeds. i did a bit of research and found it was called body focused repetitive behaviors (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body-focused_repetitive_behavior). it also includes trichotillomania (hair pulling) and dermatillomanio (skin picking).
basically when i'm feeling stress or anxiety i start scratching my hands, arms and legs and i find it really hard to stop. my brain just sort of goes numb and i lose track of time passing. when i finally stop i've often got scratches and sometimes it bleeds. i try to keep my nails short to minimize the damage but even then i scratch so hard that i still break the skin and often bruise myself as well. it doesn't hurt while i'm doing it (like i said, i go sort of numb) but the next day it's painful.
it's been getting really bad recently to the point where it's sore and painful putting on clothes and walking. i hate how it looks but it gives me a weird sense of relief while i'm doing it. it's almost impossible for my current injuries to heal because i end up scratching off the scabs.
my mum saw the scratches on my arms and we had an argument about it but i've agreed to go to the doctors tomorrow. i'm really scared but she was really upset when she saw the marks and i don't want her to be worried about me.
i just wanted to reach out the community and see if anyone else has this problem? and if you do, do you have some coping mechanisms? i feel very isolated and ashamed of myself at the moment. my self-esteem has plummeted and i've been cancelling plans because i'm so ashamed of how my skin looks.
there's very little awareness around bfrb and it's often stigmatized as being one of the more 'gross' and 'weird' symptoms of mental illness. even lots of my close friends who are very understanding about my anxiety find it weird and uncomfortable.
Hey, @EllieKB
I'm really sorry you're going through a tough time like this, it does sound like things have been very hard, I'm sending hugs!
I have not dealt with a BFRB, but I have had to talk to my parents and family about self harm and other mental health issues. It can be horrible, I know, to have to talk about it and to see them worry. However, they're our parents, it's only natural that they worry when they see their child in pain. The best way to help her stop worrying, is to go to the doctor and accept the help they give you. It might be tricky and uncomfortable to talk about, but in the long run it will help <3
Someone I subscribe to on youtube, Beckie J Brown has a channel, Trich Journal, where she talks about her experience with trichotillomania and, to an extent, dermatillomania. The link is here, if you'd like to check it out. Some of her videos are very informative and helpful :) One of the main things she recommends is to have an alternative toy/thing to fiddle with, to keep your hands busy. Beckie wears a spinner ring, but she also reccommends tangle toys!
@EllieKB
I have had trichotillomania for years and dermatillomania for a while. I completely get where you're coming from of not wanting to do something, but simultaneously not being able to stop. It's good that you were able to find the label that describes what's going on because that will make it a lot easier to get help.
I don't know if any of this will help you, but often a lot of treating a BFRB is through finding other replacement behaviors to do with your hands. Something that has helped me is ripping up frozen pieces of fruit like oranges or grapes because it helps to reduce anxiety. Ripping paper might also help. In more public situations, various stress toys may help you. It really is very difficult to stop, so try to set small goals for yourself like not scratching for half an hour and then work up to larger and larger intervals.
It's great that you're going to see your doctor, and I hope you update us on how that goes.
@lightTortoise1929
thank you for your reply! it's interesting you mentioned the fruit and paper. i often find myself ripping or folding (just generally fiddling) with paper. peeling oranges is pretty relaxing as well.
i actually ordered some floam the other day. i'm going to try ripping/ squeezing that when i get the urges. hopefully it will help :)
