Weekly sharing of Goals! Week #21 2024 (Monday 05/20/24 - Sunday 05/26/24)
I welcome anyone to commit to a goal here today.
But importantly, talk about getting it done..... or why it didn't happen yet.
To praise each other for our efforts and wins.
While supporting each other through trials and setbacks.
And to continue trying and not give up.
Remember:
Every Goal should be considered "Worthy".
Never belittle your achievements and be proud of yourself for your daily accomplishments!
Whether they be Complex or Simple.
Getting out of bed is a good day..... Good job I say!
Share your goals today, for support and encouragement.
@cloudySummer @mytwistedsoul @KristenHR @Tinywhisper11 @CyclingThroughLife @Psalm139 @Enthenia @anonyTortoise3336 @spicyavocado3788 @neatBlueberry5213 @AmyK1234 @ivoryLakeuk @MusokeHere @seashell145
@IsayUncle haaaaaappppyyyy mondayyyy uncle and everyone ❤❤❤ suggested topics🤔🤔 perhaps a challenge.. This week do something spontaneous, or do something new!
@Tinywhisper11 ok so I did my spontaneous thing for this week... I tried😮😮😮 cheesecake😱 it was disgusting, but at least it didn't taste of cheese😝😝😝😝😝
@IsayUncle so my carer has a daughter who is about to turn 19 and she gave me this huge form board, and a list of cartoons her daughter here up with. So today I made a start at drawing characters and painting them from the list of cartoons she gave me😁 it's was lots of fun. But it's so hot here, ice had to stop for today ❤ how's your Monday going??
@Tinywhisper11 huge cork* board.
@Tinywhisper11 grew* up with
Don't worry I can spell😁
@Tinywhisper11
You are such an amazing artist. Just looking at some of your pictures fills my heart with feelings. Your art touches me deeply. I would love to see a picture of that corkboard after you got a bunch of pictures posted to it as your projects progress. That would be cool.
Your carer's daughter will be getting a real prize. You are so awesome. 💕
Your suggestion this week about doing something spontaneous or something new was a great subject matter. Sorry I didn't have time to come back and talk more about that but the week's not over yet and that would be great to hear about some spontaneous stuff.
I don't really have any goals for this week. I got my last assignment done and I need to see what my next course will be. Have to get caught up at work which isn't exactly a goal, it's something that has to be done.
Um, I'd like to say not wake up tired but when a pet jumps up on you at midnight and your alarm is set for 3:45, that's hard to achieve...
@Enthenia
Congratulations on finishing up your 4th assignment. That is so very cool. struggle through you third assignment and but you got that done now you're done with your 4th. That is so freaking awesome. You deserve to take a little bit of a break.
Even with your work obligations and getting caught up there, plus dealing with attention hungry dog 3:45 AM, perhaps you can still find some time to relax instead of working on school projects.
You've been doing great and maybe you should take @Tinywhisper11 suggestion and do something spontaneous this week. 🤪😁😲🤣
@Enthenia
Congratulations on finishing up your 4th assignment. That is so very cool. struggle through you third assignment and but you got that done now you're done with your 4th. That is so freaking awesome. You deserve to take a little bit of a break.
Even with your work obligations and getting caught up there, plus dealing with attention hungry dog 3:45 AM, perhaps you can still find some time to relax instead of working on school projects.
You've been doing great and maybe you should take @Tinywhisper11 suggestion and do something spontaneous this week. 🤪😁😲🤣
@Enthenia I'm really proud of you ❤❤ completing your 4th finals ❤ you did awsome ❤
@IsayUncle Thanks for making a new thread for the week! My plans haven't quite changed - I still need to work on that volunteering thing I talked about last week. Haven't picked it up again yet, I was feeling unwell and there were two more important, physically draining tasks I had to do, so Monday and Tuesday were already full with those (not time-wise, but energy-wise).
I would like to say I'm better now, but silly me stayed up too late yesterday, feeling hyped up when the physical unwellness had lifted, so now I'm paying for that by being tired and slow and my limbs feeling heavy and being close to tears. My own fault :)
@cloudySummer
Hey, .... I saves the best for last but gotta go for now..... Aialll Beee Boack, (as arnold would say) 🤣💗
@cloudySummer hugs you tightly ❤ I hope you feel better soon
@cloudySummer
(From last week)
I kind of don't find the maintenance things boring or annoying, it's more that I choose to do the easy, safe, risk-free stuff over things that would be progress. I choose to turn bonus things into 'must do's. I don't make long-term plans, I just go with the flow. I don't even actually bother about when things will get better, they aren't really bad, and with how I'm handling things, the result can only be things slowly getting worse. I'm doing what is expected of me, but I've lost interest in some of it. I'm not quite sure how that maps to your own description – it might, but I have difficulties seeing it, understanding it.
Maybe the trick would be to actually make a plan - not a todo list. And to not always feel responsible for anything and everything, lol (how does one do that?). And to take better care of myself, so I'm not as tired as I am right now on a regular basis. So, yeah, I guess I know what I need to do, but I can't bring myself to do it. There's just no reason for it / the reasons for keeping it up are so much stronger. Sorry, being tired makes me sound worse than I am :)
Re - (Sorry, being tired makes me sound worse than I am). No need, you sound perfectly normal to me. It can be discouraging to keep trying and trying especially when you feel tired and unmotivated. So you're OK, that's why it's good to talk about it.
Re - (I'm doing what is expected of me, but I've lost interest in some of it. I'm not quite sure how that maps to your own description). I haven't really lost interest in things but now I realize that I cannot do what I want to do. But I'm learning how to do what I have to do and if that's the best that I can do then I'm OK with that. I'm hoping over time, windows of opportunity open up to more interesting and encouraging things. That's why I find my maintenance stuff annoying and boring but it just has to be done for a good foundation.
I stay encouraged and persistent in that area because of giving those things the respect they deserve and we deseve helps me feel good about myself. They are not unimportant, they are the most important because it's a starting point. Where do I go from here? I don't know. But at least, now, I am moving.
You're talking about the difference between the To Do List or a Plan. I think a "To Do List" list are kind of stepping stones towards a plan or if not a plan, some sense of purpose. I was getting tired of the repetitiveness and lack of purpose all the daily chores and tasks I had to do. I was asking myself, "what's the point?" The point is that we all have to do the bare minimum for some type of existence. That's when I coined the phrase, "Core Balance". I'm not trying to beat a dead horse or sell the idea but what I realized regardless of everything else, was the purpose of these mundane tasks was to help me get balanced enough to move forward.
I really had no purpose or plan except to survive. So I invented one and it's working. You're doing these things for a reason. Figure that out if you can, and then you can say, "I have to do these things because they make sense for this reason". It May not be glorious or fun but it is purposeful. For me personally, my mind got freed up just start thinking of better things.
(For this week)
Silly you; should not stay up late! But sometimes we just have to do what we have to do.😁.
When you talk about feeling unwell and tired, is that one of your daily challenges that you fight to overcome on a regular basis? If it is, that makes things harder and that means you should be much prouder of yourself for getting done all the stuff that you do get done. Try not to be too lackluster or discouraged. You're doing good.😉 Dry those tears, get some rest and then plod foreward.
@IsayUncle Hi - and sorry for not replying earlier. I was a bit overwhelmed, not sure what to reply (same goes for your below post - I really want to support you, but I'm not sure I can make that promise and be there reliably).
You're right, the trick is to invent a purpose, I've heard that before. It doesn't even need to be set in stone, it can be changed and adjusted. Today, I'm totally apathetic, though. There are many people who want something from me - just small things, nothing horrible, but I can't make a move. It all seems asking too much. I just don't care, yet still feel guilty, lol. Very odd state to be in.
That 'feeling unwell' I talked about above was something that doesn't occur often, but happens. Tired - yes, that's currently an almost daily thing.
I'm glad that you're moving, and keep on trying and adjusting your goals to what is realistically doable and what helps you most. You do this so well!
Hi Everyone, I'm kinda late, back to the party but Happy Thursday and I hope things have been going well. The good news for me is that I'm getting lots of jobs lined up and it's keeping me very busy.
(I posted the following sentiments on a different thread but wanted to share it with you all here.)
I'm having a horrible time trying to figure out how to forgive. I've had an issue for about 2 1/2 - three years now and have chosen not to address it until recently.
I knew restructuring my life environment did not leave room to address the issue properly so I was waiting until I got my feet planted on the ground solid. I figured it would take about a year but it took a little bit longer than that. I tried approaching the issue the other day and got a passive and neutral response with a negative air leaving no approach for healing.
I have several interconnected and colliding emotions leaving me very confused and unsure about myself and how to approach this.
Almost all the negative energy that was placed on my shoulders could easily be perceived as to be my fault but I feel like that is so far from the truth. The ability for people to lie in a sociable manner with strong convincing powers, corrupts the truth as I see it.
Trying to share my version comes out as weak, annoying, cowardice etc..... Leaving no one, that I've trusted in the past to talk to.
I would like to forgive. I don't know if you can forgive somebody that don't think they did anything wrong or wont admit it. That's the edge of the iceberg as I approach the subject of forgiveness. I can forgive myself and choose to isolate myself from the problem but that's not what I wanna do. I want to forgive and they also want to be forgiven But it can't just be one or the other right now.
Over these past few years I asked myself, "why do I wanna go through the trouble of approaching forgiveness?" and I came up with a significant answer.
Answer: I cannot do anything good or beneficial for all involved with this cloud hanging over my entire family environment. I've always wanted to be an asset to those that I care about.
Balancing my ego with the truths is proving to be very difficult.
If anyone is interested in walking with me through this journey, I would be very glad to come back to this thread and add more to the story for context, reality and hopefully possible resolution. That would be nice. That is one of my goals for this year.
@IsayUncle hey sweetie ❤ I'm sorry your going through this😥 but I will always be here to support and help you in any way I can. You've became someone quite special to me, and I don't know much about anything. But I'll always listen, and try to help ❤ we are all part of our cups family and together we can get through anything ❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤I love you ❤
@Tinywhisper11
Thank you sweetie💖
@IsayUncle I love you ❤
@IsayUncle It's alright - you never lost sight of your goals, it just took longer than you thought.
I kind of don't believe that sharing your version is any of those things you mentioned. What you said there is *their* view, *their* words, but you made them your own. I know, I do that, too.
Your family seems to be an unhealthy bunch... :-(
What I've read about forgiving is that it is actually not about them, it is more about allowing ourselves peace of mind. It's not about forgetting, not about not drawing our own conclusions, not about doing what people want. It's about giving ourselves permission to move on.
You are an asset to people around you, at least on cups - which is where I can see it.
@cloudySummer
Thank you. I'm practicing here on 7cups and friends like you make me feel better about myself. So, really really... thanks so much.
And yes.... pretty unhealthy family and i wanted to be someone to make a difference. Apparently my *** is bigger than my heart and i don't know how to fix it.😢
@IsayUncle What you call 'practice' seems post-doc level to me, tbh. Happy to help :)
Wanting to make a difference is a big motivator. From what I've learnt so far on my quest to 'fix myself', what people keep saying almost everywhere, is that one shouldn't try to change others or even wish for them to change, because it rarely works and mostly serves to make oneself unhappy and dependent upon their whims... Is that something that would apply here? Or am I far off the mark?
Unfortunately, I'm a dummie when it comes to English idioms/figures of speech, so I can't guess what's hidden behind the asterisks... (tried googling, but it didn't help...). I kind of don't want to ask, because it already seems painful... but... if you'd like a reply for that part, I need it to be rephrased ... :-(
@cloudySummer
Hey, I had to Google "post doc". I can see how it almost relates but there's nothing professional about my approach.
If my word didn't get starred out, it might have made more sense. I could say my donkey or my jack-*** is bigger than my heart. I have a history of being such a big jerk but i've never seen it like that. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it but it's true.
I'm not looking to fix other people but trying to learn how to navigate in a positive manner. It's really weird, the conundrum I find myself in. being grossly insecure my entire life I've always felt everyone was better than me so I spent a lifetime of trying to be better and so when people would complain about life or something, I thought they wanted to be better so I would give suggestions instead of empathy. That was my way of sharing me and how i try to overcome things.
It just made sense to me. But it was wrong and now I am confused about what is right.
thanks for listening. 🤗
@IsayUncle That it made sense to you (and probably, in part still makes) isn't all your own doing.
You learnt it somewhere, right? Someone must have taught you, if not explicitly by telling you, then implicitly, by showing you.
Whatever you did, you did it with good intentions. Giving advice isn't a bad thing in itself.
Of course, it makes more sense when the other party actually wants advice, otherwise... they may get scratchy....
Assuming people want to get better seems logical, too. Until someone doesn't, which seems baffling. They may have reasons for it that we don't know about - and you know that now, but you didn't then.
How should you have known if you haven't learnt that people can want something else? If you haven't gotten it yourself, even, maybe? We can only do what we learnt. You're learning now. You're doing good. You can't do more than trying your best at any given time, with the info you have, both now, and then.
Additionally, it's not *only* you. There were at least two persons involved. Emotionally healthy people would maybe have been able to tell you what they needed, earlier. It's not all on you alone. It's you - AND them, and your circumstances, and theirs.
P.S.: I love donkeys. They are smart - their stubbornness comes from the intelligence - they don't do stuff they think is silly! - and they even know how to defend themselves against wolves. And their ears are so, so soft.... They are also said to be loyal, and they get really old.
@cloudySummer
I really enjoy/appreciate your clear and precise insights. You have a gift for cleaning up the muddy parts of the water. Thank you very much.
I know it's not all me and that's part of my confusion. I don't know where to draw the line in the sand and i'm wondering if it's a sense of cowardice our sense of compassion/empathy. i want to learn how to without drawing any lines in the sand but I don't no if that's possible.
To me, a line in the sand is a sense of judgment and hatefulness but then again, very necessary.
Thank you cloudy, but I think you're more summer than cloudy hehe. 😊.
Are you finding a balance with your volunteer work?
@IsayUncle I just didn't like it that someone was being unfair to a friend...
Yes, finding that line for yourself is difficult. Even more so as there is no right or wrong :-( .
It is a decision to make. You are allowed to make decisions that benefit yourself, though - and any decision can be revised, rethought, changed. It's not final.
I wouldn't call it cowardice vs. compassion.
You have valid concerns to consider. Both 'being afraid of the consequences if I draw a line' and 'they had it bad, and I don't want to add to that' are valid. They can both exist at the same time, and they both make sense. What also makes sense is 'I deserve to be treated with respect and kindness'.
Sometimes drawing lines even helps the others, as they would not realize what they're doing if not told.
Sending you some hugs. I trust you'll figure it out, with time, how to best handle this for yourself and others. You are thoughtful and clever and kind.
I'm currently not investing a lot of my time into volunteering, the garden eats it all up, and I'm not as fit as I used to be for some reason. But I have made some big progress there, at least, in the last two weeks.
@cloudySummer
Thanks for the hugs and the kind words. They make sense and they mean a lot. I do know things will work out. I'm glad that I have someplace that I can voice my real feelings. How it may seem to be pretty critical on myself but I believe there is a certain amount of truth in it So thank you for putting things in perspective.
I wish I could figure out something to help uncloudy your waters. But I hope you're doing what's best for you right now. Working in the garden does take a lot of time so that's good that you had that set up for yourself.
I'm getting tired a lot lately too. I wish I could gravitate to more greens and vegetables but they take more work and are not as convenient. When I'm working it's easy to throw a baloney sandwich in the lunch bucket. I try to keep it balanced and do a lot of veggie wraps sometimes. I have to do better though.
I hope you can find more energy.
@cloudySummer
Are you doing OK? 🤨
It's pretty frustrating when things are unfair to our friends and are kind out of our control.
Are you OK taking a break from the volunteer work and working in the garden more? 💚.
@IsayUncle Heh - I meant someone (you!) was treating a friend (you, also) unfairly, and I found I had to defend him :)
I'm fine, getting lots of stuff done. Wish I could be faster though, but I'm not. The weather is bad (so cold!), so today I had some more time for the volunteering and some more organizational indoor (computer) work.
I ate my brussels sprouts today ;-P (but also, I like them), and had home-grown fruit in my breakfast (also had some cream and fried cheese, and I might get a nice warm cocoa in a couple minutes, but - psst - don't tell anyone!).
Was there anything good on your menu today (or in the last days)?
@cloudySummer
Oh, OK, I gotcha 😉. I'm really glad to hear you're doing fine.
That's pretty cool you are already getting some goodies out of your garden. And btw, our secret about the hot cocoa... mums the word! hehe.
The best news I have, it's feeling like I have job security. I think the business I got into is going to easily prosper into a financial advantage pretty soon. (this year sometime.... hopefully 😅)
Also, the three pups I adopted are just a real joy to see you everyday. They are very good-natured and they added to the fun for my other dogs.
Have a super nice day today, and I hope it warms up for you soon!
Hello
@dapperPark8808 hi dapper ❤ how are you doing today?
@Tinywhisper11
Hi tiny, it looks like they removed this persons profile. Just an FYI.
PS. how's my favorite smarty pants doing today?
@IsayUncle oh ok thanks for letting me know ❤ your favourite smart pants is fantastically awesomely great ❤ how are you doing sweetie??
@Tinywhisper11
tbh.... a little rough, but a big push today should get some stressors off my shoulders. thx. I love you more!
@IsayUncle remember I'm right here for you ❤❤ having a tough day.. You just need a little pick me up.. I'm little yaaay! Picks you up ❤ there that's better ❤❤
@IsayUncle just checking in on you ❤ are you ok?
@Tinywhisper11
Doing OK ..... THANKS, just not too talkative. tbh, tired but doing ok.
@IsayUncle aww sorry sweetie ❤ everything will be ok ❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤
Always remember it's better to be pee'd off... Than pee'd on😁
@Tinywhisper11 .... so true, haha
Thanks, aiways brings tiny giant SMILES!
@IsayUncle In this next week I WILL NOT MASTRUBATE FOR AT LEAST 3 DAYS
@optimisticZebra9752
Alrighty then, If that's what you need to do you make sure you do it.
I see that you are a teenager. Do you consider yourself sexually dysfunctional and, if you think you are have you spoken to anyone about it? There is so much crazy stuff going on at your age so I hope you're probably OK.
@IsayUncle yo bro I did it I completed 3 days and now on 4th
@IsayUncle I been doing good bro just needa focus up and quit this
@optimisticZebra9752
Cool man, stay focused.... Ur alright, you got it.
@IsayUncle yo bro i got to 5 days but messed up on the 6th needa focus up tmmrw how you being doing man
@optimisticZebra9752
It sounds like you did really well. I'm not familiar with any form of sexual addiction but I am familiar with addictions and hardships.
Your first entry said you wanted to go 3 days and you went five days. You should feel good about that, right?
You probably felt pretty good about it and thought you could go on and on but that's not how addictions work. It's baby steps. It's not about stopping your addiction, it's about living without your addiction. That's a big difference.
So, I think you did really well and now, you have reset your guidelines to do it again. That's good. Is it going to be 3 days again?
@IsayUncle, Sorry I dont check this often, its been a really long time happy new year i guess. I am still addicted and this addiction has been worsening, I think I am (on the edge of) having ED. What did you mean living without my addiction? And how can I do it?
@optimisticZebra9752
I'm sorry to hear you feel like your addiction is worsening in addition to the fear of possible ED. But it's still good, you're here asking questions and trying to work your way through it.
Stopping an addiction versus Living without an addiction.
The best way that I can explain the difference is with a metaphor. AND NO... it is not an easy concept. 😥.
For some reason you choose not to use your left arm no more. You keep it taped to your chest and you learn how to go through your day without ever using your left arm. That would be hard to do and you can do it. That would be considered, "stopping" the use of your left arm.
If for some reason you lost your left arm in an accident or something, then that would be considered, "living" without your left arm.
Consider all the hardships without the use of your left arm.
Now, consider all the hardships of your addiction.
Ask yourself, do you wanna try to stop your addiction? Or do you wanna live without it. Do you want to live without your addiction?
If the answer is yes, then the first step is to continue working on stopping your addiction until you learn how to function through the daily hours without giving into it. After you do that for a very very long time, you may start to appreciate living without your addiction.
Start practicing living without your addiction... just try .... little bits, you can do it.
