Daily Chit Chat with a Friend
Just a nice Chit Chat with a friend is all that is needed.
So... How was your day today?
@IsayUncle Oh sadly mine was bad, i got the flu and high fever ๐
@jasmineishereforu
Awwww, That's not good. Get plenty of Sleep and rest if you can.... without feeling bad about it. Meds and rest, I hope you get to feeling better real soon.
@IsayUncle Thank you so much ๐๐๐ผ That is very kind of you, ill try
my day is going well right now . Iโve been working on getting over my breakup , coming to terms with myself and who i am as a person and just being me and enjoying my own time
@IsayUncle I had a long day. I thought about the past more than the future. I felt bogged down. I felt like a failure toward what was my original goal of accompanying my love life around the world. I feel like Iโm living a double life - a total lie.
@Bluekimberly
I hate hearing that. That is a very bad feeling when we start doubting ourselves. Our lives are a chain of experiences and most of time with honest reflection we can add new links to the chain that binds us to our past as well as our future. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Believe in yourself and make the changes you think you need. That can be hard but remember we are here to help. ๐
@IsayUncle Good night๐. I'm happy we got to chat a little. I'm getting tired too which is good. I took my medicine early again. That definitely helps.
I've been looking through the boys' language arts curriculum and I am excited to start. It will be easy for Bentley so he will focus more on the writing and just practicing reading, but I think Jax is ready to learn to read. If it turns out he isn't ready I will be happy with him just learning the letter sounds. They have separate math books. Jax actually understands math extremely well for his age so he will probably fly through his book. Bentley is very smart too but doesn't like to do his work. He'd rather draw. He is amazing at art (like his sisters) so I don't blame him, but of course we still have to do academics. But it's a struggle. He is just like my oldest, extremely smart but also very strong willed and artistic. Not much for being told what to do!
Anyway I'm going to bed. I'll talk to you tomorrow ๐ค๐ค๐ค
๐
@Psalm139
Good morning. Thats really great about the kids. I guess the older ones will always try to sow thier oats but it seems like you have a wonderful attidude towards handling that. That was a fun, uplifting read, thanks for sharing. It seems you have high-lighted thier strengths and that is powerful good stuff! I'm glad you're staying up with your medicine especially when you can feel the difference... that's awesome.
Nothing new here, paperwork, housework, laundry, errands, pets and etc. I'm doing well with the paperwork but still have a lot to do. ๐
@IsayUncle Good morning ๐. I didn't sleep well at all. I'm thinking it was the coffee I had too late maybe, or the nap. Anyway I still got up. Justin says he is doing the trim in the kitchen today. I'm going to do the dishes and stop to help as needed. I will have to take a picture so you can see my cabinets ๐. Good luck on your projects and cleaning! Check in later, ok?
@Psalm139
That sounds like a good project for you guys to get done. Love to see a picture! I hope you don't feel too tired but you know, rest as you need too (and can).
@IsayUncle I actually feel pretty good considering. I'm going to try not to take a nap because it will just make it hard to sleep tonight. I got most of my dishes done because I'll be painting around there and don't want things in my way. It was a good motivator. I will get you that picture later on today or tomorrow. Hopefully we will get at least that area of the kitchen/dining area finished. Have you been able to get some things done today? ๐
@Psalm139
I missed this post earlier, I would have responded sooner. How did you make out with your kitchen project?๐ - i hope! ๐
My stuff was rough this weekend, still working on things ๐. I think I was much further behind than I thought, took time to help others, and that cold shut me down pretty good for two days. I think I evisioned a great success with a 4 day weekend and so I'm pretty dissapointed at one level but grateful on another that I've gotten done what I did. Maybe soon, I'll find a weekly rhythm. You'd think it would be easy for a single guy with no obligations to others to find rhythm. it's OK though... keep pushing.๐ Stay Cool -
Itโs been alright feeling slightly stronger than yesterday but still working through it
how about you?
@IsayUncle
I truly agree. Having someone asked me a day how am I doing? Felt such a great relief knowing somebody cares for you.
It's a Happy Monday for me. I am stronger to face the stress of the coming week. Work stress most especially.
Start the week happy and it will follow everyday. :)
for sharing and hopefully work takes it easy on you this week ๐@IsayUncle It's ok you missed my post. You have a lot of people to respond to. We don't have to keep talking back and forth if it's too much.
The kitchen isn't done but I think I will be able to finish tomorrow. Maybe I'll work on it more tonight, idk. Getting tired but it's only 6:30. Sorry you didn't get as much done as you wanted. I guess I didn't either really but I have low expectations of myself. I just know I never can do everything I want. My highs don't last long enough.
@Psalm139
Hey, we were talking at the same time. haha. We'll talk more tomorrow... good night again. ๐
@IsayUncle Good night
@Psalm139
Hi M, Good Morning,
I noticed you keep feeling a little guilty for the time we take together. I really enjoy our chats but more importantly our budding friendship so you should have no worries about our short replies or long winded conversations. Envision this... We are neighbors and we see each other in the yard so we chit chat. But we enjoy each others company so we might look out our window every now and then to see if the other is on the porch and happy to see the other, we go over and have a longer conversation or often the other is not there, though we might feel disappointed we shouldn't feel let down, mad, or bad in any way, just happy when we do see each other again. If we talk too much, we shouldn't feel bad for running off at the mouuth, that's what friends are for sometimes... to listen to the rants.... without judgement. I understand your dependency might fit into the dynamic here so that makes things a little trickier for you. At least I think so. That might be part of it but that is not you or your whole and it does not define you nor does it elevate the blessings you bring to the world! ๐
I do not consider you an invalid that I'm obligated to come visit and care for, But a friend I look forward to sharing stories with and chit chatting. I think I feel your fear of getting too close and that is normal considering what you've lived with your entire life. If you can, let's put that on the back burner for a while and just be good neighbors.๐
@IsayUncle Thank you for saying all that. I do feel like you might feel a little obligated to talk to me. I see so many others talking to you and you are so nice to everyone and I just don't want to be too much. Everything you said was right and I needed to hear that you see me as a friend and not an obligation. So thank you. I'm sorry for being so insecure about everything. I worry too that you might not be able to say how you really feel because you are kind of the support person in this thread. But you can tell me how you are feeling, if you are having a hard day or feeling down. I don't want you to pretend to be ok. I know all about doing that. I do hope you are feeling good like you seem to be.
I'm sure you can tell that my emotions have been pretty raw the past few days. I am trying though, working on sleeping earlier and just trying to work through it. It's just hard sometimes. I know you know how that goes. How is your day going?๐
@Psalm139
I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling rough but I imagined it might be so because of the funeral and all. I've had a shit weekend and today is no different. I've fallen into a quagmire of overeating and procrastination. Everyday this weekend I thought I was going to do better.
Did you guys do ok with the kitchen?
@IsayUncle Ah sorry your weekend hasn't been great either. Maybe today will be a little better. Do you have one thing you could accomplish that would make you feel better?
It's hard for me to break those habits when I'm not feeling well mentally. It is so much easier to do nothing and zone out. And rest is important too, but it's hard to find a balance sometimes.
I got the kitchen about half done yesterday. It has a brick backsplash and I have been painting it white. It's super hard to paint in the crevices. I think I can finish today though. I also want to look again at my teachers manuals. I got some pretty highlighters and post it note tabs so I can keep track of where we are in each book and what activities I want to focus on. You know me and my pretty colors lol.
I got a few $1 card games for the little boys that I thought we could play at the motel or at the lunch after the funeral. Justin's aunt is also making each of the kids a little gift bag with a snack and something to do for that time.
I feel like crying but I'm just trying to get through the day and act ok, you know? ๐
@Psalm139
It sounds like the schooling part is a wonderful uplifter and motivator so that's good. When is the funeral (i forgot)? Pretty nice the aunt making something special for the kids.
Do you know why you feel like crying... do you want to talk about it or maybe later? I don't have to act for the sake of others. I think that makes you very strong and selfless. (my dogs don't care how i act lol)
Trying to clean the kitchen now and I did get a lot done with my paperwork. 1/2 days work taking 4 days... and still not done 100%
ps I'm not getting notifications when you post & reply, I've been noticing that for the past few days.... maybe we need to use the heart button...?idk?
@IsayUncle Hmmm not sure why you don't get notified. I have been hitting reply unless the button isn't there. Then I post to thread and tag you.
It sounds like you got quite a bit done. I need to get going on cleaning and painting in the kitchen too. Yeah I mean it's hard to pretend to be ok sometimes. It can be exhausting. But also it helps to have a reason to try beyond myself. You have your dogs. I'm sure they give you that sense of purpose and being needed๐
The funeral is Thursday morning but we leave Wednesday at noon.
@Psalm139
Get 'er done ๐, We'll talk more later or tomorrow!๏ปฟ
@IsayUncle That kitchen picture looks so much like my kitchen right now it's funny. All my cabinets are on one wall. The sink is full of soap with dishes soaking, and there is a can of paint on the counter!
I'm just taking a break again now. Got some dishes and painting done. I forgot to answer your question about feeling like crying. It's a fairly normal feeling for me. I think today it's probably just emotional overwhelm with everything going on right now. Your message almost made me cry too honestly but only because it was so sweet and it is rare for people to seem to understand me/the way I think.
I hope you are ok. What are things that make you feel better? Do you have favorite music? Do you listen to audiobooks at all? I like to do both when I'm cleaning or doing projects. Taking a shower and going outside or doing yoga help too. Do you have a favorite movie or show? Or do you watch YouTube?
Sometimes all I can do is take my medicine or take a nap to try to reset my brain and hope I wake up better.
๐
@Psalm139
Things should be easier for you after the funeral and things level out for a bit so just hang in there. At least you're able to stay proactive with moving the furniture around and painting the kitchen. All that stuff will be done in a little while too. AND that should feel soooo gooood when done.
All my music, audio books, motivational videos and new's outlets come from You-Tube. All my TV comes from amazon prime (With news outlets also) and Netflix. I discovered Guzheng or Guzheng type music (Chinese music) on youtube. I really like that when i'm trying to stay focused and productive. I can truly be in the mood for all genre's of music except screaming hateful type music regardless of the genre.
Sadly a couple of month's ago I drove over my very nice pair of noise cancelling headsets. I bought some earbuds but not they're not the same and I lost those recently too. lol I should get me another pair of headsets.... they really helped stay in a groove throughout the day.
TV is just a distraction. I watch it when I'm depressed or tired. (Way too much this weekend) Umbrella Factory - Netflix.
@IsayUncle
We are about the same with tv but we also have Hulu+Disney+. I have had audible on and off though and have collected audiobooks from those times. And I use Spotify for music and podcasts. Tv is mostly mind numbing entertainment or background noise for me too, but I have a few shows I actually like. I do love the educational aspect of YouTube. I got a lot of camping ideas from there and I watch recipe and meal plan videos. And there are homeschooling videos too that I watch sometimes.
You are probably right that after the funeral I will feel better. It is just a lot to think about, prepare for, and deal with emotionally. I did get some more work done in the kitchen. I'm going to keep at it and maybe still finish tonight. We'll see!
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@Psalm139
BTW, my brain fart.... best and easiest + free fire starters. Do you use stick butter? The empty waxed wrappers. Fold them length wise over and over until they are skinny. Store them in a quart bag in freezer or fridge. Fill the bag up and you'll have plenty. Bring them camping in cooler or out in open, don't really matter except critters might get'em. You can use them straight, or in halves or tie in a loose knot. Use several in damp conditions. ๐