Validation
A situation happened to me yesterday made me think that it's good to write something as a reminder about validation for myself and anyone who might be interested. Seeking validation from others is a common human behavior that can have both positive and negative effects on our lives. Validation refers to the act of seeking approval or recognition from others for our thoughts, feelings, and actions. While validation can provide a sense of support and encouragement, it can also lead to a reliance on external validation and a lack of self-confidence.
One of the primary reasons people seek validation from others is to feel accepted and valued. This is especially true in social situations where we may feel pressure to fit in and be liked by others. When we receive validation, it can boost our self-esteem and make us feel more confident in ourselves and our abilities.
However, seeking validation from others can also be a slippery slope. When we rely too heavily on external validation, we may start to doubt ourselves and our own judgment. We may also become overly concerned with what others think of us and lose sight of our own values and beliefs.
Another negative consequence of seeking validation from others is that it can be a never-ending cycle. We may feel the need to constantly seek approval and validation from others, which can be exhausting and unsustainable in the long run. This can lead to a lack of self-esteem and a sense of inadequacy.
So, what can we do to break the cycle of seeking validation from others? The first step is to become more aware of our own thoughts and feelings. We can start by asking ourselves why we feel the need to seek validation from others and what we hope to gain from it. We can also try to identify any underlying issues that may be contributing to our need for validation, such as low self-esteem or a fear of rejection.
Once we are more aware of our own thoughts and feelings, we can start to take steps to build our own self-confidence and sense of self-worth. This can include practicing self-care, setting achievable goals for ourselves, and focusing on our own strengths and abilities. We can also surround ourselves with supportive and positive people who encourage us to be our best selves.
Feel free to share any other tips regarding this topic :")
@intelligentEmbrace4072
I loveee this, so well written and very very true.
I feel, relying on anyone else other than yourself is a slippery slope lol, or even relying more on others than on yourself, what others think, what others say, others can change, and their thoughts can be temporary, their presence can be temporary~ being heavily reliant on something temporary can be a major risk, specially when you become "habitual" of something.
So important to strengthen our foundations, within us, work through "our" perception of us, acknowledging, embracing, validating *us*.
When you're the freaking cake yourself, the icing and cherries only *add* to your sweetness, they don't *define* your sweetness!
Thankyou for sharing this insightful post! 💛
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou When you're the freaking cake yourself, the icing and cherries only *add* to your sweetness, they don't *define* your sweetness! Loved it!!!!
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts 😍
@intelligentEmbrace4072
So glad you loved it!💛
@intelligentEmbrace4072
A Very Good Post.
A childhood of abuse and neglect with no loving compass is a breeding ground for the extreme seeking of validation.
This happened to me as it does to many of us. Added to that was "fear" of being punished for getting caught doing something wrong.
I'm 63 years old and I've spent my entire life trying to do "good" things, always seeking approval. In an ironic twist of psycological developement, I developed into an egotist. Every single social disorder I have can be chained directly to my egotistical personality. There are too many flaws to comment on here.
The only good thing that developed was I never blamed anyone else (Ironically, everything was my fault and everyone was better than me)... This ws a faulty perception I finally grasped at 60 years of age.
The Good and Bad of seeking self validation for me.
GOOD: I became self dependent by trying to always doing right things... some of right things paid off on a personal level.
BAD: I thought everyone was better than me and never realized how they learned to put on a social front while suffering terribly inside. The "BAD" part was me never ever seeing this, so I was incapable of offering true compassion, empathy and support.... thus never developing any meaningful bonds.
The lack of any meaningful bonds feeds into the ferocious need for self approval and validation.
@IsayUncle
@intelligentEmbrace4072
Thanks. 😊
I appreciated this post. I am 52 and still struggle with perfectionism and some people pleasing. Perfectionism is the hardest thing especially at work. But it leads to anxiety on a consistent basis. Have to work daily on mindfulness and peace.
@jrk27 100% - I understand the challenges of perfectionism and people pleasing, especially at work. Focusing on progress instead of perfection and practicing self-compassion for mistakes can help reduce anxiety. The fact that you're working on mindfulness daily shows strength and self-awareness. Small improvements do add up over time. I wish you all the best on your journey!