I think I had a breakthrough

So I’m 25 and I’ve never been in a relationship. Even my friendships dwindle because I’m so dang avoidant. I’ve been to therapy and I try to read ever self help book under the sun. The reason I’m so avoidant is because of my parents and how they raised me. I blamed them for everything and then after reading a book, I realized that even if I had a traumatic childhood that doesn’t mean that I can’t have better adulthood. The hard pill to swallow is responsibility. I always felt like I had to fix and stay stuck on the past and it was easier to avoid people to avoid disappointment. Every year I have anxiety over the things I didn’t do because I was so afraid to do it. I was stuck on this fixed mindset of oh well I can’t do it so why bother. I’ve been growing every year little by little. I’ve accepted that I’m in my own little lane and that’s okay. It hit me that I could potentially have a meaningful connection with someone and yes it will be filled with disappointment but that’s okay because what isn’t disappointing in life. This is what I was avoiding my whole life. Putting myself out there because of my fear of rejection.