Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How to NOT act on Strong Emotions

Sody January 6th, 2018
.

Image result for negative feelings chart

So hey folks- something I'd like to do in this area today is a personal issue I am facing now. So I thought being open to other members,listeners,mods,ambassadors even admin can really relate to. Many of us here are not just members, but have other things we are involved in, teams, discussions, trainings things like that. We also are involved with the community at a more intimate/closer relationships.Things happen, feelings get intense, voices may or may not feel heard, mistakes happen. We all run into these things-right? Come on tell the truthsmiley

Well what about those pesky,annoying intense feelings? You know those do get in the way and often times get us into some negative actions-right? Come on folks wake up over therecheeky So how does mindfulness "help" us not to let those emotions get so out of control we react and possibly make things worse? Well keep reading and we will find out.

I know I am not alone when certain feelings get SOOOOOO intense I feel it is never gonna get better. It can feel like the present feelings,thoughts,pain will never end-right? It's a false belief that our current emotional state is simply how it is now and there is no end in sight to the suffering. When we are in this state of mind, it is not surprising that many of us resort to destructive behaviors in futile attempts to end the pain, the feelings and so on. The tragic irony to these attempts is that clouding awareness with substances, harming the self, or engaging in other impulsive activities often does reduce suffering – but not for long. In fact, these destructive behaviors may act as temporary distractions from pain, but they end up causing more long-term suffering. This is a vicious cycle.

You all still with me????? Ok so what kinds of mindfulness skills can help us though these rough times? Come on everyonecheekyheart

Activities- Usually engaging in activities is the last thing one wants to do when experiencing intense distress. Making the choice to simply get moving and engage in simple tasks around the house that need to get done (e.g., vacuuming, doing laundry, organizing the closet) is an effective (and non-destructive) way of distracting from temporary intense distress.

Contributing- Intense negative emotions often get us wrapped up in our own internal dramas to the point that we forget that there is a world outside of ourselves. One way to tolerate distress is to move away from the potential self-absorption involved in intense emotions by contributing to something outside of yourself. This does not invalidate the pain and distress that is being experienced, but simply redirects self-destructive energy in a healthy direction. Getting involved with others and contributing to external causes can help one regain perspective when it seems like intense distress will never end.

Comparisons

Take a moment to reflect on how your life is different from those with far less than you have. During intense distress, it is easy to forget how much there is to be grateful for. When emotions are intense and seem unmanageable, there is a tendency to forget how life would be very different if living in a part of a nation without any running water, in a war zone, or in abject poverty. Sometimes keeping a simple gratitude journal is very helpful in starting down the path towards recognizing small everyday occurrences worthy of a moment of gratitude and appreciation. No matter how bleak ones current situation is, it could always be worse and it could always be better. But it is what it is. And it will pass.

Opposite Emotions- Acting opposite to our current emotional state is a powerful tool to use in the moment when distress seems too overwhelming to bear. Some examples of using opposite to emotion action include feeling tired/sluggish, but deciding to walk out of the front door and take a walk around the block, or feeling bored/lethargic and choosing to watch a funny movie or dance to your favorite song. The idea behind opposite action is not only to actively shift your current affective state, but also to act as a reminder that all emotional states are temporary. Intense pain, as well as intense joy, are not permanent.

Thoughts-

When in an intense emotional state, use your cognitive abilities to provide a temporary respite from the intense emotions. This is a time when moving into the world of thinking is your friend. When emotions seem unbearable and overpowering, we are being controlled by Emotional Mind. Until we are able to move into a long-term state of wise mind use reasonable mind to help you move out of your intense emotional state. Start reading a book (that is not emotionally evocative) and consciously shift your full attention to each word on the page. Notice how consciously shifting away from emotion mind when in an intense affective state provides a noticeable internal shift.

Discussion

1. How can you actively work towards using these mindfulness skills when in the throes of intense distress?

2. What will be the hardest thing to do when trying these out?

@Laura@awesomerainbow @adocker @adventurousfan @Ady23 @AutumnLeigh @amiablePeace77 @AMusicalSilence @astray @AnActiveListener @AjanMalic @adaptiveLight27 @aifos1976 @agreeablekite4304 @asilentobserver @alfalfasproutdeux @ambitiouschestnut9158 @ambitiouscity3124 @basty @blueocean @BillyWilson @babybenfin @behindhazeleyes @billywilson @BlueberryFriend @blueocean45 @borderinline @BuddhistDracula @blueDiamond @brilliomturtle89 @bluewolf1229 @benevolentOrange31 @callforhelp @char1otte @CrissiArabela @Claito @calmHero86 @courtmarievibes @compassion4you14 @DarkCoffee @diplomaticShade2167 @Deeperblue @enigmaforte @EnigmaForte @emilyLanes @EmunahHere @EastAfrique @Evaparker02 @essdee Fairhouse @FreeSoul1417@fighter23 @Gaara @GhostInTheShellx @Gozzil @happydandan @helpfulHuman4993 @helping2findaway @Harleemoon @Hereyzzil @hopeless104 @InvisibleAngel92 @Itsybitsyspider91 @inventiveOrange1 @joyoussun45 @kindsoul10 @kristenPLPCCRC @kirtokun0731@kevan @Kodachrome73 Joe2017 @JustLikeMellie @Jenna0903 @joyoussun47 @JenSee @KatMae @KrinkTheMellowUnicorn @kvo8 @KattPiper @Lionellinu13 @lia345 @Learntolive @LilaGrace @lightforlife @lilynoelle @LilyLila @lightofhope89 @Lovejoy @leothelittlelioncub1 @melliotm @Mikey123 @Musicismyfriend @NoDramaBabyLlama @nourrirvotreame @obie2 @oxfordshiregatsby @passionatepeyton @Pat @penguinpower31 @peppermintlove @PiecesofYou @pureriver55 @Pininin @PinkMallow @pizzalover1341 @politeAvocado7234 @politelychaotic @princessofcurcus @probius @psalm139 @PurpleSnowflake2310 @politeskies6536 @rachelq @resilience @rumplesteeleskin @rosesway @Rcusick12 @sailorelix @saif1for1 @Saltydog68 @ Samar27 @santysan @sensitiveShade5337 @silverWillow1625 @singblue @smileyPower @Softforesthsp77 @soulrestorer102 @soulsings @Spearstar @sujaypai @SunFern @SunFlower @sweetmango91 @summertimesamness @stillLavender24 @tazcares @tjb28 @tisjme @unicornbunny @victoriia @wildcat85 @Wawas @XxOgSpunBbygrl @yogibear10 @yzxil @zeraphim

8
KrinkTheMellowUnicorn January 6th, 2018
.

@Sody - Very wise thoughts there, I am reading and rereading carefully to take it all in.

PassionatePeyton January 6th, 2018
.

@Sody

Wow, I love this! This is such an amazing post and I think it is something we should pay attention to. heart

Thanks for sharing! laugh

Sody OP January 7th, 2018
.

@PassionatePeyton

HIya Peyton good to see you heresmiley And thank you I know this is an issue in most of us here-thought me sharing would help another.

Lunch6657 January 8th, 2018
.

@Sody Sody you are beautiful! and you write well too!

Sody OP January 8th, 2018
.

Thanks unknown but I look things up:)

amiablePeace77 January 8th, 2018
.

@Sody

thanks for this post. acting opposite to our current emotional state sounds very helpful. when i feel down i usually do not want to do anything but by forcing myself to get out of the house or exercise i always improve my mood.

the biggest obstacle is patience. what helps me always and really always is also listening to mindfulness teachings, they allow me to be more modest in my expectations of life and be more grateful for what i have.

Sody OP January 8th, 2018
.

@amiablePeace77

HI Peace good to see you heresmiley Yes doing the opposite is great-it's the thing of catching yourself when needed and doing it-lol Good job in getting yourself to get outta the house and exercise when you feel down. ssshhh me too but I'm not good in this areasurprise Oh man idk the key to patience much. I do try tho.Wow yes gratfulness is also good in using mindfulness. Sometimes we fall short in this. Peace keep up the good work and doing those mindfulness exercisesyesheart