Mindfulness And DBT Skill- Describe
Observing is a skill that practices mindfulness, just being in the moment and observing without judging or putting a value on something.
Describing is an experience that you dislike, like maybe washing dishes, and just noticing everything about it without focusing on your feelings. This is a way to stay in the present and to be mindful about what is going on.
The next skill in the group of "what" mindfulness skills is Describing. You take an experience such as washing the dishes and say to yourself statements about what you observe. "The water is gray. The soap feels slippery in my hands. The dish is hot."
This describing skill also helps us to stay in the present. At times, when I was very distressed and there was no one to talk to, I would describe aloud the things I could feel and see to keep myself in the present.
We can also use the describing skill to apply verbal labels to feelings. "I feel disappointed about missing the party. I feel happy to see my friend. I feel sad." Being able to verbally describe events such as washing the dishes and feelings like disappointment is necessary both so that we can communicate our thoughts and feelings to others and so that we can manage our feelings.
We need to learn not to take our thoughts and emotions literally, as fact. For example, feeling afraid does not necessarily mean that something is threatening or dangerous to us. Our fear may come from some past experience, or from something that has some connection to the current situation, or from confusion about the event that triggers our fears.
Having a feeling or a thought about something does not mean that that thought or feeling is fact. Thinking "No one likes me" or "I am unlovable" does not mean that these statements are true. They are just thoughts, or just feelings.Practice describing the events around you and putting your feelings into words will help you to figure out whether your thoughts and feelings actually fit the situation. You may have an upcoming exam. You may feel anxious and nervous. You may think, "I am going to fail this exam."
Describe those feelings
Do you have physical symptoms - sweaty hands, butterflies in your stomach?Describe your thoughts/ What are you thinking about this exam?Are these thoughts connected with the exam?Are your feelings actually connected with the outcome of the exam? (Remember that you don't know the outcome yet.
Describing those thoughts and feelings helps us to see how the thoughts and feelings are actually separate from the actual exam. As Marsha Linehan says, "Thoughts are just thoughts, feelings are just feelings." This doesn't mean that the thoughts and feelings aren't real. They ARE real. They are just not the event or the situation itself. They do not necessarily explain or predict events in our lives.
Discussion:
A) Today pick one experience that you have - cooking a meal, going for a walk, walking your dog, watching a TV show. Observe the experience, without judging or evaluating it.
B) Describe what you are doing or seeing, . What do you see, hear, touch?
C) Do you feel something. Give words to your feelings. Keep them free of judgments or evaluations. Can you see that your thoughts and feelings about the experience are separate from the experience itself.
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I feel that my descibing stuff about the camping trailer is a lot more enjoyable than describing my body and issues to my MD's because they don't listen and for some reason even when I type it out for them they can't understand my typing either. Not sure how to get them and understand them and explain things to them.
@DanaMH
Hiya Dana good to see you
I do understand how we want others to understand. But if you really are trying to communicate at your best-don't worry about them hun. Now tell me about your camper pleaseWhere am I going to sleeping in there? Does it got a tv and a frig?
@RumpleSteeleSkin
28 foot camper we bought 2 weeks ago. Set up as his/her sinks why they install 2 to clean is beyond me but ok need the storage above the sinks. Lots of storage and I still have extra room. Guess my old motorhome didn't have as much storage as I thought since a lot of stuff we have inside now because it doesn't have much outside storage. 2 tv's, nice counter space. Below is a link that you can view the layout. Has BBQ for outside which is really cool!
http://www.forestriverinc.com/product-details.aspx?LineID=205&Image=5059&ModelID=3815#Main
@DanaMH so that is great you are setting up housekeeping. Sounds like fun.
@RumpleSteeleSkin
Today I made lentil soup. I had lentils, cumin, bay leafs, carrots, salt, onions, turmeric, and garlic at home already. I soaked the beans in unfiltered water for a few hours while I shopped for tomatoes, celery, and cilantro (and went to the beach here in Miami on this warm day). I chopped all the veggies and herbs, and pressed the garlic. I cooked all of the above in the rice cooker. After about 15 minutes the aromatics were coming to life and I could smell them and the beans all around the house. I forgot to chop and put carrots in so I did that at the last 10 minutes and added more water so it was more like lentil soup than cooked beans. I threw out the bay leaf and had two piling cups of steamy fragrant hot soup for dinner! And I still have more for tomorrow!
I thought about eating starch with it for dinner and felt bad because I want some but am eating starches only during the day when I need the energy. I thought about making this entire batch of soup to impress a guy who supposedly is coming over tomorrow for a swim but hasn't confirmed with me and I think he's going to cancel last minute, as so many men do here in Miami. I thought about which dish to put the leftovers in, because tomorrow if I do take it to the pool for a picnic with the guy, I can't bring glass to the pool, so I chose a steel dish. I thought about how good it tasted and felt lonely eating it alone. I thought what a waste this is, again, making amazing food, being an amazing person, and not finding anyone to share these gems of life with - these little things like tasty hot lentil soup make life worth living! I thought about inviting other people over either to eat with me or swim with me tomorrow but I have tried that so many times here that I am sick of the rejections and need more/new "yes-friends" who say yes to invitations and then actually come and do what they say they will. I thought about leaving Miami and going somewhere else where people care about others more and are true to their words. I thought about my trip that I just got back from, househunting in another state where I may move soon, if I can find a house.
@onwardforevenmore oh wow that is a memorable day. I really like home cooked food.
@onwardforevenmore
oNWARD WOW!!!!
This really made me read it 2 more times. The soup so sounds delish
@onwardforevenmore
I can relate to that feeling not having someone to share with somehow, there might be no people or they are not available. It can be really frustrating. Long time ago I decided if there is nobody to share I just have it on my own, I actually go to the beach or park whether I am with someone or alone. I call it me and myself and still enjoy it. I hope you will find your way soon as well so that you feel better about it.
and hey, i am having lentil soup in some minutes too!
@amiablePeace77 thanks! Yes, that's what I call it too! I still do these things alone but think that the best things in life are shared. And how great it is to share the best things. Hope the soup was great!
@RumpleSteeleSkin I dislike dealing with the aftermaths of snow. So I make a game out of clearing the snow with the help of the snowblower. Makes a tough job more likeable.
Now if I can only find a way to make driving in snow less stressful. I do put car in lower gear and that means I have to use brakes less [how low a gear depends on how slow I am going - on ice I am in first going 5-10 mph]
Deep breathing helps me when I am driving in bad weather.
@soulsings
Souls love doing fun things if I have to "move" the snow lol. But me to on the driving part. I get nervous but also have a cd in the car kinda like mindfulness that I focus on
@RumpleSteeleSkin sounds nice. I use driving and focusing on the road as my mindfulness exercise. Looking for warning signs can help me anticipate what may happen so I can avoid it. It seems this helps me to keep me out of trouble.
@soulsings
I never thought of driving to be a mindfulness exercise. And this morning its snowing and very icy-I went to get coffee and gas. Im going to start noticing little things like the warning signs and stuff. Thing is where I drive I know where they are and know to stop or slow down or a snake in the road
Sitting in eye appt waiting for Dr wow so many test
Now sitting on phone with insurance trying to make appts
