I’m not sure anymore

So basically for a long time I went with aro ace and I’d get a lot of questions about my ex’s  both of which I only dated because they asked and I’d always tell people it’s because I felt like I had to say yes, however more recently I realized that I never even considered any of the non-masc people in my life a although nothing yet I keep thinking back to past feelings towards some of my friends who were not men rant I chalked up to jealousy and now I’m reconsidering and it’s honestly freaking me out

the worst part is the feelings I’m thinking about are towards one of my aro-ace friend who, even if I realized I liked them, wouldn't date me anyways