My lesbian diary
Hello everyone,
I'm starting a diary I'm shy and introverted. I am nervous around women and unsure of how to meet new people. I am poor trying to support myself through architecture school as a 22 almost 23 year old. i can't afford dates (unless I take out loans lol). My parents are homophobic, terrible people for guidance, and mostly unsupportive of all my choices. I have autism and ADHD and socializing is harder. If I was used to it and could afford going out every day it wouldn't be so hard. I feel that I cannot afford a social life. As I speak I guess I am more tempted than ever to take out loans. I've never had a gf I've only dated. I've never had sex, it was hard for me to understand my body with autism with alexythima but I feel finally ready and I understand my own body. I tried to have sex with a man and my body shut down and I couldn't speak. We didn't have sex thank god. I can't tell if it was me not understanding my alexythima or my lack of attraction to men. Dating men felt so fake it was fun but too easy and I just never cared. Then men would hit on me and I would be angry or hurt (I wish they knew I was a lesbian). Idk does anyone else think that being gay is expensive? That's all for now. There is not much I could afford and it makes me nervous when I try to hang out with people that anxiety hangs around me. I'm not very happy and don't have a lot of energy and I feel very introverted more than I have before. I just really hope that once I do the ground work of what I am doing for college and earning money, I hope I can start to relax and enjoy myself. I would love to start dating and to have enough money to date. Any advice is welcome thank you all!
@unassumingPeach6421 What are you doing right now to earn money?
@eternalSea2507 I hope that things get better for you. I'm sure you'll find money to go out and date just trust yourself. Good luck!
@eternalSea2507 I work for my grandparents my grandmother has dementia. They pay me well and I should be out of here in May. I'm getting an apartment with a roommate. From there I'll work in my neighborhood at some entry level jobs and maybe start practicing real estate.
@unassumingPeach6421 New update to the journal. I'm still anxious. Ik I'm not technically like a "loser" no one is that is just a term created by a-s-s h-0les. I'm not a jerk. Idk I worry about friends, dating and family. I am not rich, pretty, strong, smart, or talented. I guess I'm nervous. I don't feel like I am enough for my friends. I just want to be well off and not worry. It's hard I can't afford life basically and I've never felt like I could afford life. I'm a middle child and I''ve always had to make due and I'm worried. How do I do this?
@unassumingPeach6421 Hello. I'm 22, in college, probably a lesbian but am unsure due to literally no sexual experience. Maybe we could help eachother out. I also have ASD/ADHD. I'm new to this website so im not sure how to chat privately.
@madokamagi4evr wow what are the odds? We sound so similar I would love to talk with you! I'm not sure how to talk directly. Maybe we could use this chat for now? I hope we can encourage each other trying to date with ADHD and ASD is hard enough. Not knowing how to meet other lesbians definitely makes it even harder.