Mixed signals 😵‍💫

I’m so confused. There’s this girl I am friends with, we have been friends for about 5 years. Out of these 5 years, I’ve had a crush on her for 4. I don’t know what is so special about her. She used to be so terrible to me, because she had a manipulative friend that kept convincing her to do things that hurt me mentally. She’s caused a lot of problems for me but I keep forgiving her. After all of this, I lost feelings. But then things started getting better and now they’re back, and I’m not sure what to do. Why is she so special to me? Then I always figured she didn’t like me. I told her before I liked her, and she didn’t like me back. Then I told her when I lost feelings, so she doesn’t know I like her again. Sometimes I flirt with her, for fun, we both enjoy it, but she still makes it obvious that she is not interested in me at all. But yesterday I was texting my friends and I asked them “if I shoot my shot what chu saying?” And she said “maybe yes 👀”

I can’t tell if she was joking or serious. I asked if she was for real, but she changed the subject. I’m not sure what to do.. should I shoot my shot??

(SHES pansexual btw and I’m a bi/aspec girl)