Parent of a teen who is questioning their sexuality

Seeing no answer here breaks my heart so, just from a perspective of a random person that doesn't have kids,

let me just say how much I appreciate the effort you put into this. While it may feel disconcerting that your child don't want to talk about it, I feel like the most important thing is that they know you love them regardless and they will find the support in you if needed. Since you're here I assume that your reaction wasn't always just the question; if that would be the case, it's the first thing I'd fix.

Only additional thing that comes to my mind is that it may be easier for them to talk to someone else, so offering help in terms of finding a therapist, or any other relevant expert (i.e. endocrinologist) could be nice.

And, well, when it comes to your relationship and communication, that's way outside of my IT expertise 😄, so, I can only suggest seeking a therapist, if you want to explore that aspect more.

Good luck!
Mel

@GoingInCircles365

I've found when a person is questioning, sometimes they may drop these kinds of hints not to start a conversation but to give you a chance to have at least some insight into the paths their questioning is taking them down. Often times a person who is questioning doesn't have any answers for themselves let alone someone else, and a conversation with others creates pressure to have answers they simply don't yet have to offer.

It sounds like you've taken the information you've been given to read and understand the various topics, talking with other members of the community may also provide insight that reading information might not.

One thing that comes to mind is one of the testing the water techniques many people use before choosing to come out, where they watch for opportunities to bring up LGBTQ+ topics, like when they see something on tv, asking a question to see how their loved ones feel about the topic without it being in reference to themselves. Perhaps you could do something similar and talk with your teen about the topic in a broader sense, maybe even in ways that doesn't potentially apply to them?

Overall, you may find you need patience, while you simply offer your love support and acceptance, while giving room for the uncertainty and questioning.

A few other thoughts/questions to consider:

• Do you feel responding in the same manner would be more effective for your teen? Like if they have left information and notes, perhaps you could leave some of the information you've found or notes as well?
• If you could say any one thing to your teen, what would you want to say?

Thank you for sharing your experiences with us.
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Hi! I don’t have any advice or suggestions but I would like to say that when I was reading your post, I smiled. I smiled because even though your child doesn’t want to talk about it right now you are still letting them know that you are there for them, its also so kind that you are researching!

If I had a parent like you I would be so happy! even if I didn’t want to talk to you about it I would still feel so happy that I have a parent that supports me no matter what.

Sometimes its hard to talk about it, There is nothing wrong with you, its just because they are not ready to talk about it. It will take time but they know you are there for them.

I appreciate you

Best of wishes

❤️❤️❤️

Have you tried writing a note back?

They may not have all of the answers yet but sometimes it's easier to talk about difficult things through notes and texts and it could be their way of testing the waters. If you know of any local LGBTQ resources you could share with them, they may feel more comfortable to share more with you. Even just a note telling them how much you love them no matter what can be enough. I am also trans and had a similar experience with my mother. You are a kind soul and the community needs more parents like you.

First of all, thank you for being such a loving parent. It’s really heartwarming to know how much you want the best for your child. Know that it is totally normal to feel lost in such a situation, and that you’re not alone.

I feel that you’ve already been a very supporting figure in their life. You’ve taken the important step in offering to talk and by keeping that door open. You’ve identified that they may need space and time to process what must be a confusing period in their life, and you’re maintaining this level of respect and privacy by handling this delicately.

There isn’t going to be a definitive guide anywhere on how best to proceed from here, and what you are and have been doing is probably the best a parent can do. I urge you not to lose heart and to keep following your gut. You’ve been putting in the effort to read up more about this and, one day when they are ready, you will have the knowledge and the environment to provide the best care and support any parent would be able to offer such love to a child.

The world would be such a nurturing cocoon for anyone questioning and learning about their identity if more of us were like you. Thank you for being you.