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Little kids + teaching it that I'm trans

Hello! I'm trans ftm ( a boy) and i have a brother who is 8 years old. He noticed that I dress like a boy and that i make my chest flat. So he says really often "You are not a boy you are a girlšŸ˜”šŸ˜”šŸ˜”" / "you are a girl" (in a rude way) . I understand that he's a little kid and might struggle with understanding what's going on BUT I suffer really much of gender dysphoria so it affects me really much that I have a person in my own house who keeps telling me that I'm not a boy. My mom is against explaining to him that I'm trans and is also a little bit scared that my brother will tell it to my family in the next family gathering. (They are really much transphobic). I dont really care abt it because I will have to break the contact to them anyway when I'll be on hormones and only keep my close family. ANY TIPS ON WHAT TO DO TO STOP MY BROTHER TORTURING ME? I'd really appreciate it. Thank you for reading : )

6
Tinywhisper11 August 26th

@communicativeApple9560 awww I'm sorry your extended family are transphobicšŸ˜„ I wonder when the world will finally stop this nonsence, and except everyone for who they are. And your little brother, he needs to know he needs to be sat down and explained. Perhaps a serious talk to your mum, about how this is effecting you, then she hopefully would let you explain to your brother. He's gonna learn all this in school soon anyway, so I don't see the harm in teaching them to accept others at a young age. I wish you good luck, and now we care here, I care ā¤ā¤ hugs you tightly ā¤

Aayla August 26th
@communicativeApple9560 I'm so sorry about this. Your mother seems like she doesn't truly understand what it means to you to be treated like this, she shouldn't be "against" explaining your brother who you truly are, she's sacrificing your well-being in the name of her own fear to embrace reality. If she truly accepts who you are, she should also stand up for you with the rest of your family and help them understand you.
I'd have a long heartfelt talk about the consequences that your brother's treatment has on you. If she still doesn't understand, you might still try to explain your identity to your brother even without your mother's support. You should not endure harm just because other people don't understand you.
In case no one in your family ends up being supportive (fingers crossed they eventually will), don't forget that the world out there is full of people who will see and love you for who you are. Best wishes!
RainbowRosie August 26th

Sorry to hear this. I do feel this needs addressing by your mum with your little brother. Also it must be confusing for him as heā€™s only 8 years of age. Are you able to have a chat with your mum explaining how the situation is making you feel? Wishing you the best šŸŒ¹

maia102 August 29th

@communicativeApple9560


I'm so sorry to hear that : ( It's really difficult living with a person that keeps triggering your body dysphoria. As the other posters have suggested, an open, vulnerable and honest discussion with your mother about telling your brother about your being trans seems to be the best option. Breaking ties with transphobic relatives is something on your mind already and letting your brother know what's really going on would at least help on one front.

If you ever need a shoulder to lean on or someone to talk to, remember that we're all here for you! Feel free to message me if you ever need some support < 3
IsaSilver September 19th

Hi Apple,

I actually have a different perspective than some other responses, and perhaps you may feel discouraged by what I am about to say, but I think it is important for someone to at least mention this to you.

While talking to your mom is certainly one way to handle this, I also want to make it clear to you that coming out as a trans person, actually transitioning, and everything that comes with it is going to be much harder than handling someone like your brother. There certainly is a whole society of people who will not hesitate to say the most hurtful things to you or even hurt you physically once they know you are trans, so if you truly consider your brother's actions as torture, I am not sure if you can survive the attacks coming from society towards transpeople in general.

As a transperson myself, I can honestly say that as much as I have a support network around me who loves me regardless of who I am, I still have to deal with all the hurt whenever I notice the hostility that society shows to trans people. Some of those attacks can be direct, such as people talking crap about trans people because they didn't know I am trans and thought they are "safe" to talk like that. And some of those other attacks can be indirect, such as seeing the highest rated comments being transphobic with hundreds of thumbs-ups, and only seeing a pitiful 30 thumbs-up for a trans-supportive comment. Yes, the world will disappoint you and if you have trouble with accepting that, then I will seriously challenge you to reconsider whether coming out is the best choice for you. Yes, not coming out and not being able to live our your authentic self has negative mental health impacts for sure. However, dealing with negative comments from all sides, and feeling like nobody loves you can also severely impact your mental health as well. How can you become the best version of who Apple can be and live the best life possible? That is a question only you can answer yourself.

I hope you will find a solution that works for your immediate issue, but I also hope that you will flourish and thrive in whichever life you decide to live. Neither are easy and I wish you the best whichever decision you make. Hugs!~

Onyx000 September 19th

@communicativeApple9560 šŸ«‚