Struggling with my identity, am I trans? I don't know and it worries me.
I'm really struggling with my identity, like whether I am or aren't trans, it's really hard to figure out who on earth I am. I’ve always grown up as straight male. But there have been times, especially recently, where I would give anything to be a girl, like anything. But in my mind I’m not LGBT or anything and the idea of actually telling people about it and transitioning embarrasses me. Part of me thinks "Your not trans it's just a phase" but the other part of me knows that isn't true, like I have two different versions of me warring in my head. The almost right wing version that got views from the people I grew up around and then actual me, or at least who I think I am, who has the complete opposite views. Like I myself am conflicting with the version of me that others SEE be but not who I actually am. You'd think if I was really trans I should just know? Right? I mean I should know who I am, at least I think so. Why is it such a struggle, I definitely don't wanna talk to my parents about it at all and I don't really have any friends I can talk to either.
