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Struggling with my identity, am I trans? I don't know and it worries me.

SneeblerGurl May 16th

I'm really struggling with my identity, like whether I am or aren't trans, it's really hard to figure out who on earth I am. I’ve always grown up as straight male. But there have been times, especially recently, where I would give anything to be a girl, like anything. But in my mind I’m not LGBT or anything and the idea of actually telling people about it and transitioning embarrasses me. Part of me thinks "Your not trans it's just a phase" but the other part of me knows that isn't true, like I have two different versions of me warring in my head. The almost right wing version that got views from the people I grew up around and then actual me, or at least who I think I am, who has the complete opposite views. Like I myself am conflicting with the version of me that others SEE be but not who I actually am. You'd think if I was really trans I should just know? Right? I mean I should know who I am, at least I think so. Why is it such a struggle, I definitely don't wanna talk to my parents about it at all and I don't really have any friends I can talk to either.

6

@SneeblerGurl

Not brushing off you being trans but could you be gender fluid or non binary when I first found out I was gender fluid I thought I  was trans. If being a girl feels more right though you should probably do some research 

~Love, Mae

5 replies
SneeblerGurl OP May 16th

@Maeeeeebae999

Yeah I thought about that and it's less that I feel like both, and more that I feel like one but I'm not allowed to be a girl yk? Like I really wish I was, but I would shame my parents, like my friends would stop talking to me. I feel like if I came out, I'd have to start a new life basically. I don't feel masculine, if I could wake up tomorrow a girl, would do it in a heartbeat. But I can't.

4 replies

@SneeblerGurl

If its okay may I ask how old you are??? And Also ur friends and family should support u no matter what if they are shamed of you then they probably ain't the best people for you 

~love,Mae

3 replies
SneeblerGurl OP May 16th

@Maeeeeebae999

I'm 17, most of my friends have the mindset of "this woke s**t is so annoying, lgbt is ridiculous", similarly with my parents. They said, "We'd be accepting if you were gay but we know you'd have a harder life. If you were trans? Then I'd probably be very sad about it, but in my own time" and whilst I know they wouldn't kick me out or anything, I think If I did come out I wouldn't really have the nerve to look them in the eyes again.

2 replies

@SneeblerGurl

I will respond later <3 

1 reply
SneeblerGurl OP May 16th

@Maeeeeebae999

Yeah np

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