Lgbtq+ Growth paths: need your help, ideas and feedback

@Listeningsarinn

do you have 5 minutes?? Please read and respond to this thread *~*

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@Lynxpine8691

Hello 07 cups. I would like to have more topics on internalised homophobia, dysphoria, questioning your gender, coming out, dealing with hateful people and self acceptance. Thanks.

@Gloomybubble

awesome! Thanks for sharing that *~*

i would also love to know your idea on what that path should look like more specificly!

so would you mind answering the questions below too?? ❤️ *shares cookies and coffee*

What is one thing that you would most like to hear/ would use a reminder on from time to time as a queer person?

What are some main struggles you face in daily life as a queer person, or would be most needed to cover? (You can answer by titles like, coming out stress, self acceptance, internalized homophobia, relationship stress, questioning, dysphoria,...)

How much of resources and information would you like/ would be acceptable for you to read??

how much of a good progress path should be lighthearted and fun??

Sometimes I need a reminder that what I am feeling is real and valid. That I am not faking it and that it's okay, even tho i realised it later then most people. My main struggle lately is gender identity and expression of it. I am struggling with labels, dysphoria, imposter syndrome and coming out to myself and the world. Am also feeling like I shouldn't be having such problems in first place because i never showed any signs of it before. Can't put a certain number to resources but would love to have a few, at least, and if possible by people who are going trough same issuses as me. I think, at least, one third of it should be lighthearted and fun but spread out evenly trough the growth path. Thanks for listening :) .

@Gloomybubble

thanks a lot for sharing! i hear these and i'm sure will help us make a path that would help many other peers in our rainbow town! I hope you'll like the growth path and find it helpful too❤️

@Listeningsarinn

Thank you for your amazing post! *high fives* I think the options you have presented are quite brilliant! To answer one of the questions as in what percentage should be fun, I'm thinking maybe a 1/4? Kind of like a meal.....gotta' eat your protein, starch and veggies, and after that, dessert is always good too! lol I think it could get people even more interested/invested to take the whole tour and it's always so much fun to bring levity to things in my opinion. It's good to work hard but play hard also.

I'm thinking the only thing I would have to add that could be of value is perhaps personal positive affirmations? As in self esteem related, self love, self acceptance? Some people even look into a mirror and say kind things to themselves to start the day! I am great, I am worthy of love, it's okay to be me, I am special and unique, I am important, I matter, I can do this, I got this, I can, I have value! To have a prompt to encourage people to say these things and specifically out loud can have an impact on their brain, their emotional health and well being.

Stay great everyone and big *hugs*

@SparkyGizmo

hey hey! Thanks a lot for the great suggestion on personal affirmations! and for sharing your idea on the portion of lighthearted steps... it will be of help to many...❤️

@Listeningsarinn

@Listeningsarinn

Struggilling with if it's okay to say "Oh that girl is attractive" or "Oh she looked pretty at school today" or even just bringing home a girl, even if they are just my friend. I know my parents support but it's internal struggle of do they actually support? How will they take this? Can I say this? Ect.

@The0Vetoed0System

hey there! Huge thanks for the input!❤️
self acceptance and getting to live with your identity with fear of judgements even if you know your family are supportive of you, both can be hard to deal with🍃🍪

just a little reminder: being you is okay and completely valid, you can feel your feelings and tell them out whenever you feel comfortable to, and people who love you, love you regardless of your sexuality❤️ Stay awesome!

@Listeningsarinn

Hey, Sarinn! You got me to smile; thank you! :) This post really stands out to me; I appreciate it and you.

What is one thing that you would most like to hear/ would use a reminder on from time to time as a queer person?

"I'm not going to judge who you are or try to make you fit in my definition of what your identity should be." (There have been a few people who struggle with me being demi, and their response is always to try finding a way to word the description so that it is palatable for them. Like...it's not rocket science.)

What are some main struggles you face in daily life as a queer person, or would be most needed to cover? (You can answer by titles like, coming out stress, self acceptance, internalized homophobia, relationship stress, questioning, dysphoria,...)

Coming out stress, self-acceptance, relationship stress, and questioning for sure. I've only come out to a handful of people; luckily, the majority of them were accepting of me right away. As for self-acceptance, I still struggle with the thought of "So this is who I actually am? I really am an oddball among the family." Relationship stress mainly comes in the form of knowing that I've acknowledged that my closest friends are awesome spouse material, and while they're not uncomfortable with me being demi, I'm concerned about how being incompatible with all of them from their ends (being taken, not going for my gender identity, etc.) could make my emotions a liability. I want them to be happy even if it's not with me, but it feels sort of weird always knowing that I'm only capable of loving people I'm emotionally attached to and resigning myself to a fate of remaining in the friendzone. Thus, I'm trying to remind myself that there's a lot of benefits to being single. Last but not least on the questioning, I've lately begun to wonder if I'm demiromantic as well as demisexual, and if I'm slightly genderfluid with a preference for identifying as female. The demiromantic questioning ties in with my viewing of my friends as spouse material and being able to imagine myself dating them and marrying them (were it not for our incompatibility), whereas the genderfluid possibility ties in to how while I usually refer to myself as "she/her", I'm pretty fine with being called "they/them". I'm not a "he/him", but the gender neutral terming...hmm. Am I overthinking this?? I feel a little silly. (<_<;;)

How much of resources and information would you like/ would be acceptable for you to read??

I think it would be a 50-50; I want a healthy balance of information and casual icebreakers. That way, awareness continues to spread while maintaining that friendly, no-strings-attached environment. :)

What percentage of a good progress path should be lighthearted and fun??

At least 30% to me. I know that a lot of effort has to be put into a progress path, but some of it has to be saved for myself to be able to enjoy it and continue being encouraged to do it.

Thanks for the discussion! I really appreciate it! (^_^)

@TheAutumnWitch

Hey hey! How happy to hear that! May you always smile🍪❤️
thanks a lot for the input, it will be very useful and the time put into writing it is very appreciated! ❤️

by the way all of those struggles are highly relatable and very much valid, being you won't make you an oddball, nor will it make you any less awesome than one could be *hugs tightly* but remembering and believing that in heart can be a bit hard, i've been there! Also questioning and needing to think and understand yourself better isn't silly to any extent, just remember that you have as much time as you need and That you don't need to fig anyone's definition or understanding of a term, being you and choosing the label, and the pronouns that feel comfortable to you is all that matters❤️
thanks again for the input *~*

1. maybe validation, aka messages like ”you are valid” etc
2. the one you gave examples of are really good titles, i agree with those and it would be really nice to have them
3. maybe like in the middle of the bar, not too many but not to little
4. 50 percent, like half and half, or 30, like a quarter(?) of it

@SlipperySlope

hey there! Thanks a lot for the input❤️
validation is definietly a key point! Also good to know you agree to topics i mentioned, tho do you think you could explain more on which you think is the most important to highlight, and also what are some things that can be of help while struggling with those?? (Specially if you've had personal experience dealing with any of those, what could've been a way of supporting you there??)

I think the ones than need to be highlighted is the questioning, coming out and homophobia, and to answer that other question, I think positive messages, I dont really know, sorry.

@SlipperySlope0

thanks *~* and nothing to be sorry about at all *shares cookies and coffee* positive messages can bring a positive vibe to whoever is reading❤️

I would love to come out to my parents but I'm scared

@lynxpine8691

i can hear that *seats with you and shares coffee* coming out can be scary, you might think again and again of the reactions and what it will be like at home, but it can also be a relief when you can be openly yourself...

just two reminders❤️
It's okay to come out on your own pace, whenever you feel ready and comfortable to do it... you have time to think of what the reactions will be like, if you are ready to do that conversation and if the tought of coming out feels comfortable to you, take your time... i'm here for you whenever you need a friend by your side, to talk, for a tight hug or simply to be there, all along the way❤️

on a second note, when you decide to come out, remember that, "those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind, they will love you regardless"

Hi there!

I personally think that it would be nice to adress less talked about struggles of the community.

It is important to talk about internalized homophobia but we should not let aside the differences with internalized biphobia (what if I am just faking it or just constantly second guessing yourself) or internalized acephobia/arophobia (sometimes feeling not human enough and being at serious risk of pushing past your personal boundaries).

I personally think that everyone in the community should now about this topics for better emphathizing with others and helping them out.

Also, although I am not entirely sure about how it works, maybe the path could include some free resources on what to do if you get disowned and such. It is an unfortunate scenario but it is also a reality that many have to face so if worse comes to worst they should be prepared.

Hope I could help!

@Saishhelps77

hey! Thanks for sharing your ideas and views ¥~¥ it definietly will help us in creating the path!

i agree that awarness about internelized ace/trans/homo phobia can be really important so thanks for bringing it up❤️🌈
i'll be working on finding reliable resources on worst cases and emergancy plans, about being disowned, if you find any resources feel free to share with me as well ^^

@Listeningsarinn

@Listeningsarinn This is wonderful. I have referred a few people to this community. Focusing on specific issues will help the navigation process...Thank you

@brightjoyfulCreature2021

hey❤️ I'm glad you find it helpful and have refered others to here as well ^^

What do you think those specific issues to focus on should be tho??

Hey I’ve recently returned to 7 cups after being away for a long 4 years I think these topics are great I think something I personally would like to see is more support /forums for LGBTQ+ parents being one myself or maybe one for those looking to be parents ❤️

Thank you for your efforts, here some thoughts that come to my mind!

Some topics: heteronormativity, dating, flirting, internalized homophobia, figuring it all out, support system/queer friends, queer spaces
I do like lighthearted stuff to be the majority, a heavy question every once in a while is good too. Having some pictures and motivational things as well as reflection exercises, affirmations or community activities would be pretty cool.

Take care, Lare