Lgbtq+ Growth paths: need your help, ideas and feedback

@Listeningsarinn

do you have 5 minutes?? Please read and respond to this thread *~*

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Hello 07 cups. I would like to have more topics on internalised homophobia, dysphoria, questioning your gender, coming out, dealing with hateful people and self acceptance. Thanks.

Sometimes I need a reminder that what I am feeling is real and valid. That I am not faking it and that it's okay, even tho i realised it later then most people. My main struggle lately is gender identity and expression of it. I am struggling with labels, dysphoria, imposter syndrome and coming out to myself and the world. Am also feeling like I shouldn't be having such problems in first place because i never showed any signs of it before. Can't put a certain number to resources but would love to have a few, at least, and if possible by people who are going trough same issuses as me. I think, at least, one third of it should be lighthearted and fun but spread out evenly trough the growth path. Thanks for listening :) .

@Listeningsarinn

Thank you for your amazing post! *high fives* I think the options you have presented are quite brilliant! To answer one of the questions as in what percentage should be fun, I'm thinking maybe a 1/4? Kind of like a meal.....gotta' eat your protein, starch and veggies, and after that, dessert is always good too! lol I think it could get people even more interested/invested to take the whole tour and it's always so much fun to bring levity to things in my opinion. It's good to work hard but play hard also.

I'm thinking the only thing I would have to add that could be of value is perhaps personal positive affirmations? As in self esteem related, self love, self acceptance? Some people even look into a mirror and say kind things to themselves to start the day! I am great, I am worthy of love, it's okay to be me, I am special and unique, I am important, I matter, I can do this, I got this, I can, I have value! To have a prompt to encourage people to say these things and specifically out loud can have an impact on their brain, their emotional health and well being.

Stay great everyone and big *hugs*

@Listeningsarinn

Struggilling with if it's okay to say "Oh that girl is attractive" or "Oh she looked pretty at school today" or even just bringing home a girl, even if they are just my friend. I know my parents support but it's internal struggle of do they actually support? How will they take this? Can I say this? Ect.

@Listeningsarinn

Hey, Sarinn! You got me to smile; thank you! :) This post really stands out to me; I appreciate it and you.

What is one thing that you would most like to hear/ would use a reminder on from time to time as a queer person?

"I'm not going to judge who you are or try to make you fit in my definition of what your identity should be." (There have been a few people who struggle with me being demi, and their response is always to try finding a way to word the description so that it is palatable for them. Like...it's not rocket science.)

What are some main struggles you face in daily life as a queer person, or would be most needed to cover? (You can answer by titles like, coming out stress, self acceptance, internalized homophobia, relationship stress, questioning, dysphoria,...)

Coming out stress, self-acceptance, relationship stress, and questioning for sure. I've only come out to a handful of people; luckily, the majority of them were accepting of me right away. As for self-acceptance, I still struggle with the thought of "So this is who I actually am? I really am an oddball among the family." Relationship stress mainly comes in the form of knowing that I've acknowledged that my closest friends are awesome spouse material, and while they're not uncomfortable with me being demi, I'm concerned about how being incompatible with all of them from their ends (being taken, not going for my gender identity, etc.) could make my emotions a liability. I want them to be happy even if it's not with me, but it feels sort of weird always knowing that I'm only capable of loving people I'm emotionally attached to and resigning myself to a fate of remaining in the friendzone. Thus, I'm trying to remind myself that there's a lot of benefits to being single. Last but not least on the questioning, I've lately begun to wonder if I'm demiromantic as well as demisexual, and if I'm slightly genderfluid with a preference for identifying as female. The demiromantic questioning ties in with my viewing of my friends as spouse material and being able to imagine myself dating them and marrying them (were it not for our incompatibility), whereas the genderfluid possibility ties in to how while I usually refer to myself as "she/her", I'm pretty fine with being called "they/them". I'm not a "he/him", but the gender neutral terming...hmm. Am I overthinking this?? I feel a little silly. (<_<;;)

How much of resources and information would you like/ would be acceptable for you to read??

I think it would be a 50-50; I want a healthy balance of information and casual icebreakers. That way, awareness continues to spread while maintaining that friendly, no-strings-attached environment. :)

What percentage of a good progress path should be lighthearted and fun??

At least 30% to me. I know that a lot of effort has to be put into a progress path, but some of it has to be saved for myself to be able to enjoy it and continue being encouraged to do it.

Thanks for the discussion! I really appreciate it! (^_^)

1. maybe validation, aka messages like ”you are valid” etc
2. the one you gave examples of are really good titles, i agree with those and it would be really nice to have them
3. maybe like in the middle of the bar, not too many but not to little
4. 50 percent, like half and half, or 30, like a quarter(?) of it

I would love to come out to my parents but I'm scared

Hi there!

I personally think that it would be nice to adress less talked about struggles of the community.

It is important to talk about internalized homophobia but we should not let aside the differences with internalized biphobia (what if I am just faking it or just constantly second guessing yourself) or internalized acephobia/arophobia (sometimes feeling not human enough and being at serious risk of pushing past your personal boundaries).

I personally think that everyone in the community should now about this topics for better emphathizing with others and helping them out.

Also, although I am not entirely sure about how it works, maybe the path could include some free resources on what to do if you get disowned and such. It is an unfortunate scenario but it is also a reality that many have to face so if worse comes to worst they should be prepared.

Hope I could help!

@Listeningsarinn