Course 4. Foundational Leadership Principles: (Discussion #3) Lead Yourself
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Great Leadership, unsurprisingly, starts with yourself!
Practice what you preach. Lead by example. I am sure all of you heard these phrases. But why are they so iconic?
Because the journey starts with the first step and you are the person who is taking the initiative to lead -- Start a journey! So, you are the one who needs to take the first step before expecting others to do it.
To start with leading yourself, close your eyes and visualize two people: someone who inspired and encouraged you to be like them, and someone who discouraged you to be not like them.
Then, write down the good qualities of the person who inspired you as well as the qualities of the second person. You do not have to be specific with the details. Just a bulleted list.
Now, compare the list to yourself. Note the good qualities you have, the bad qualities you have, and give yourself a rating on a scale of 1-10. What we just did is identified your strengths and weaknesses and what you need in order to lead yourself. This allows you to create self-awareness.
Self-awareness is key to leading yourself in the right direction. But, leading yourself is not easy. Just being self-aware isn't enough. It's igniting the spark but not enough to catch the fire. To catch the fire, you need to be persistent with your practice, which is regular reflection. Be consistent with monitoring your efforts and holding yourself accountable.
You can't effectively lead others until you know how to lead yourself. That happens through Self-Observant Leadership: when you deeply understand your identity, compare it to your reputation (how others experience you) and then make meaning of the observations, and choose to adapt.
Exercise:
1. Share one area where you scored low on your self-awareness check-in and one thing you will do to improve?
2. Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread!
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Share one area where you scored low on your self-awareness check-in and one thing you will do to improve?
I believe I need to improve on self-care. Not only restricted to 7 Cups but to life in general. Sometimes, I forget that I can say no, I don't need to do everything. I can delegate and prioritize. I can improve :)
@VerseArt Learning to say NO is so important !! I have had too really learn myself and sure does feel better !! 
@VerseArt
I hope that you will be successful in implementing self-care in your routine! I have found this great page that can give you some self-care ideas: https://www.developgoodhabits.com/self-care-ideas/. Hope you like it! :)
@VerseArt
I constantly forget that I can say no too. It's hard because I want to be able to help everyone all the time. But we start to lose ourselves and our self-care when we put too much on ourselves. We gotta learn how to find the right balance.
Hi @shiningDay80
I completely agree :)
@VerseArt Self-care is so important! I feel like a lot of people forget about it!
@VerseArt
It's a great point that you make about applying what you do as a listener to your personal life. I have seen other people apply their conversations to themselves about doing cope skills.
@VerseArt
Yes! It's important to set boundaries and prioritize self care :)
@Heather225
1. Share one area where you scored low on your self-awareness check-in and one thing you will do to improve?
I have scored low in confidence. I have inferiority complexion. Even though I think I am right, I don't adhere to my opinion but get sway away from the opinions of others. In the past, there had been instances where I didn't do what I think was right for me but got influenced by the statements of others which as a consequence brought me distasteful experiences.
The one thing I will do to improve myself on this is by following the advice of Dr APJ Abdul Kalam, the former President of India. He said that each one of us should say five sentences to ourself in the morning:
1. I am the Best.
2. I can do it.
3. God is Always with me.
4. I am a Winner.
5. Today is My day.
@shiningSound31
I have also scored low on my self-confidence and I can totally feel you when you are saying that you often get swayed by the opinions of others- I also usually tend just to agree out of conformity even when I have a different opinion. I think that what we need to practice also assertiveness because when we know how to put forward an idea using good arguments then people are more likely to support our ideas what can boost our confidence itself.
I also really like this Ted talk, I think it is very interesting! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEDgtjpycYg - it is about how to speak up for yourself and he gives a lot of great tips on how to be more assertive.
I also really love your plan to say those 5 sentences to yourself in the morning, it is an excellent idea and it can definitely boost self-confidence!
@MoonlightHelper1
Thank You, Moonlight 😊❤️❤️❤️ You have rightly pointed out the word assertive. Thank you for understanding me and sharing the link 😊❤️❤️❤️ This (the link) and the feeling of being understoodrunderstood is really helpful ❤️❤️❤️😊❤️😊😊❤️❤️❤️
@MoonlightHelper1
I have just finished watching the video. This is excellent ❤️😊❤️ I genuinely feel at short of words to thank you ❤️❤️❤️
@shiningSound31
It was a pleasure my friend!! You have there also similar videos on the side now so you can check it out when you find it helpful and interesting. I can see that you are working hard to improve yourself and I believe that you are going to be a great leader! Keep on doing this amazing job, I am proud of you! :)
@MoonlightHelper1
❤️❤️❤️
@Heather225
Share one area where you scored low on your self-awareness check-in and one thing you will do to improve?
I scored low confidence. Taking this leadership program would definitely help me to become more confident as it helps me to improve my currents skills and helps me in self-reflection. To become more confident I can also try to be more objective in self-judgment (be mindful of cognitive distortions) and to stay away from negativity and bring on the positivity.
@MoonlightHelper1
Just like anything else, having a lot of confidence takes a lot of self evaluation and practice. Nice job, keep up the great work :)
@Heather225
1. Share one area where you scored low on your self-awareness check-in and one thing you will do to improve?
One thing I scored myself low on when doing my self-awareness check-in is effective communication. One thing I will do to improve is to talk to people more whether it is at work, home, the store, or online.
@CognitiveACE
Communication is such a vast field, especially when we're talking to people of various socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds. Great response!
@CognitiveACE
Good luck! Well evaluated response
@Heather225
Share one area where you scored low on your self-awareness check-in and one thing you will do to improve?
I'd like to work on my confidence and avoid over working. I'd have to use positive affirmations daily and learn it's okay to say no when I have to and self care breaks need not make me feel guilty
@ahealingEndoftherainbow22
Good answer! Good luck with yr improvement.
@ahealingEndoftherainbow22 I relate with the confidence and overworking. I've been doing a lot of extra self-care to get out of some burnout. I'm happy to chat about your journey anytime!
@ahealingEndoftherainbow22
I love using affirmations to help with confidence. I do it a lot with my clients and they say it works for them when they actually put effort into it. Sometimes, I'll even have a wallpaper on my phone with some type of motivational quote.
@Heather225
1. Share one area where you scored low on your self-awareness check-in and one thing you will do to improve?
2. Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread!
With regard to self-awareness, one thing I can improve on is assertiveness. I can be quite assertive, but the leadership individuals I have met while lacking in empathy, are able to invoke a sense of urgency in their workers. I would not want to foster fear in others, but respect.
Assertiveness could be the balanced space between aggression and empathy, where respect could be made.
@SynSavory
Great answer! Good luck with the self-improvement.
@SynSavory I totally relate! Assertiveness seems to be a fine line between being stubborn and being timid.
@SynSavory
Great points!
@Heather225
1. Share one area where you scored low on your self-awareness check-in and one thing you will do to improve?
One area I scored low would be my confidence and belief in my abilities to do good things for myself and others.
Practice believing in myself more and not let people push me down.
@BookChunky I totally relate! If you have time, I recommend reading this article: https://zenhabits.net/improve/.
@JaimieF
Thank you Jaimie! will make sure to check it out
@BookChunky
Great points, I could relate to it :)
Try to listen to someone, and by listening I mean listen not for replying, but for actually hearing the person out.
I can say without a doubt that you can create a great impact of yours on anyone in just a couple of minutes, plus you don't know how it changes their life.....
So just listen to everyone, because everyone in the end has a story which they want to be get heard without getting judged.
1. Share one area where you scored low on your self-awareness check-in and one thing you will do to improve?
I currently score low on assertiveness, and I will practice being happy with myself to build confidence and thus assertiveness.
2. Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread!
Okay!
@JaimieF
I also score low on assertiveness. I love your plan, good luck!
@JaimieF
Yes! Be proud of yourself and who you are! Confidence can be difficult at times, and it's great that you realize you need to work on it so you can achieve that confidence!
@JaimieF
Got any tips on building better confidence?
@Asherwolfice Setting small goals and slowly building up on that—essentially having formative positive experiences. keeping a self-gratitude journal, so writing what you're grateful for **about yourself** Also doing things you are afraid. For me, that is climbing routes I find difficult and taking falls even if I'm scared.
Same, that’s a good plan
@Heather225
1. Share one area where you scored low on your self-awareness check-in and one thing you will do to improve?
i think i should be a little tighter maybe. i don't know if that's the right word for that. and that doesnt apply to me. maybe Im too lenient and forgiving and that may not be good for the other person.
@Mankka
Good response! You can be more strong if you just believe in yourself
@Mankka It might take some time, but you can do this!
@Mankka nice answer <3
