Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #8) When you don't get the role you want
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Hello, students! Let's talk leadership!
Many of you have or will apply for certain roles that interest you! And some times we get it and some times we don't! It can be difficult to find out that we didn't get the role, but we can control how we react to it.
Here are some DOs and DON'Ts:
- DO talk to the leader of the role that you applied for and get some input on what you can/need to do in order to get the role next time! Be aware though most leaders of these roles are busy so give it some time!
- DON'T bring the issue into the support rooms. If you are upset, talking to a peer supporter about how you are feeling is ok!
- DO take some self-care, self-care is good for any occasion but its best to deal with those feelings of failure or disappointment outside of 7 cups, things like going on your member account can be so helpful to overcome some of these feelings
- DON'T think that you are obligated to stay on 7 cups right after finding out bad news, especially if you are in LSR/TL and you see other listeners who have gotten the role that you wanted! It can be hard to deal with and it can cause unneeded jealousy or hurt on your part! Not everyone is like this but if you think that this is a possibility that you can think this way staying away might be a great option!
- DON'T take it personally, everyone is ready at different times. It can be hard for us to realize this but just because someone got the role and they might have been here in less or the same amount of time doesn't mean that you personally are ready! Everyone grows and accomplishes things at different times!
- DO get a mentor, in general its a good idea to get a mentor but for things like your goals on 7 cups mentors can be great and helpful! They can give you feedback, do mock chats with you, and overall help you with your goals as I said before!
- DON'T think you have to apply for every role and every team out there! There is time you don't have to apply for everything! Its super easy to burnout that way, and that can lead to more "rejection" and hurt that none of us want!
*Never let not getting a role the first time discourage you! You will be told when you can apply again and use the feedback that you get to better yourself when you can/decide that you are ready to! practice makes perfect none for us are perfect and no one will ever be! Its a good thing to remember no matter your role as a listener your help is greatly appreciated and you are still helping so many people!*
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Activity: Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
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@Heather225
Since this has happened to me, I can tell you that I was demotivated for a while. What I did was staying away from 7 Cups as a whole for a short time to get my thoughts together.
If this happens again, it is my responsibility to take this in civility, with a growth mindset and utilize this hurdle to jump even higher to wards my goals and aims. To the leader, I aim to receive as detailed a feedback as they can afford to give.
@KimByeongIn
It takes strength to have overcome not getting the role you applied for and adorable you did what you needed for yourself and facing this head strong.
@KimByeongIn
accepting feedback is a positive way will leave a good impression on the leaders who gave you feedback.
@Heather225
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I should respond by first stepping out of 7Cups so my initial feelings won’t affect what I’ll end up doing that may be unprofessional such as letting out that kind of problem to other people. When I feel calmer, I can look and think deeply about the feedback I’ve been given and see whether this aligns with what I really need to do. I could then reach out to a mentor to see how I can work on my feedback and trust I can get the role next time. I would say to the leader that had informed me thank you for letting me know what I can improve on and important information to be aware of.
@Mari228 True. Taking a break is something we can do to understand our feelings and then work on the feedback we are given. Connecting to a mentor can also be helpful in our journey of improving ourselves
@Mari228
great response and steps to take!
@Mari228 that is an amazing process you have <3
One of the ideal things I like a lot about our community is that when feedback is provided, it's always very encouraging. I can't stress enough how important that is especially since most would initially feel taken aback and perceive it as a failure, which it isn't! Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
@Mari228
i like that you would thank the leader for informing you
@Mari228
i like that you would thank the leader for informing you
@Heather225 If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
If I was not offered a role I applied to, I would be a little disappointed to hear it but would also ask the person who told me where I went wrong and how I could improve it. I had applied to be a peer supporter and I did not pass the quiz in the first go. I had someone reaching out to me and gave me feedback on where I can improve myself. I did the test again and passed it. I believe in taking feedback positively and learn from it. If I hadn't been given feedback, I would ask the person where I went wrong and how I could improve myself and apply again to get that role and also try and not repeat the same mistake again.
@yourbuddy30
I really like your point of view of this.
I had that happen before too noy passing the training for a role.
@yourbuddy30 you and I are the same, finally! <3
I encourage others to provide feedback for my work if I don't get it. It's imperative for my growth and my self-esteem as a writer that someone cares enough to see me improve.
@yourbuddy30
yea asking for feedback is helpful. I agree
@Heather225
@Heather225
I have faced this situation on 7 cups and in other areas of my life.
If we aren't successful in a role, there can be a few reasons, usually, the leader would inform you why you weren't successful (or should do).
It is normal to feel down or sad, but take it as a learning opportunity, ask the leader why you weren't successful if they haven't already told you, ask them what you can do to be successful next time.
Be sure to thank the leader for letting you know the outcome and for their feedback and how we hope to work with them soon.
I think first I would first take a self care time. Thanks for looking at form . Can I have feedback on how can get this room in future and can I stay in touch to check in how I am doing?
@Goalsforlife
self-care is important:)
My default setting when I apply to roles is usually that I won't make it. I feel like there are so many applicants who are more qualified but I can't not try. This is also to manage my expectations.
When it does happen and I don't get a role I applied for, I'll ask whoever informed me about what I can do to further qualify and be accepted and then plan my steps as to how to work on them :)
"Thank you for your message, I appreciate it! Please let me know how I can improve so I can reapply. I appreciate your feedback! :D"
@CosmicMiracle
That's such a great way of dealing with the situation, I'm sure you are an amazing listener and deserve the things you want in life!
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
@zareya I like how professional you sounded in asking for feedback :)
@zareya
Yes! I really liked how you shared your feelings!
@zareya
Its definitely okay to feel frustrated, I'd be a bit too. But asking the leader what more could be done or other roles available makes you a team player and ready to accept and be part of the team in anyway
@Heather225 I would feel a little sad but would use the experience to improve myself and to be better in the future.
@claj333
I love that you would use this experience as a growth step to see what areas need to be changed and perhaps some constructive feedback and or another roles needed filled?
@Heather225
Hello everyone,
#1: If I found out I was not given my role I would try my best to understand why I was not given the role examples could include, I am not ready for this role, is there no room for this role, does another role need more support, etc.
#2: I would ask the leader is there anything I can learn or improve on for the next time, I would also reapply when I could.
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
If I find out I was not given a role, I would talk to the leader of the role that I applied for and get some input on, by being patient for their reply as they might be busy and know the mistakes for my exams, to get me updated. I would say to the leader that get a mentor for getting my feedback, doing mock chats with me, and overall help me with my goals as to improve to get a role by learning from it and be mature to fix my issues next time.
@iStarlight
That's a really great way of improving and dealing with the situation!