Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #3) The Detriments of Gossip

@Brinaa101 I love how your answers focus on building people up!

@Brinaa101
Really liked your highlight from the video Brina. Saying something positive about the person who's being gossiped about is a great way to get out of it!

1. Why is gossiping bad?
Gossiping toxic, studies show that if you gossip, others will self-consciously place you with that same negative trait.
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
I would mention that I don't know enough about the situation to form an opinion on it, especially without the other person's perspective. I could also change the subject!

@FlourishingDimensions
That's a great way to avoid gossiping, thanks for highlighting it from the video :)

@FlourishingDimensions

Hello!

I really liked your post. I agree with you and I am happy because you pointed out the fact that gossiping is just toxic and there is nothing good about it.

@FlourishingDimensions
Perspective-taking is very important. Without knowing someone's perspective, talking behind their back isn't a good practice.

@Heather225
1. Why is gossiping bad?
Gossiping is bad because it can cause someone to be misjudged and looked down upon without even them knowing about it. While gossiping, the gossiper creates a sense of mistrust and negativity about himself too, which ultimately affects the community.

2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
"If you gossip about someone else, the person listening to you will assume that you also gossip about them. Which means, they're not gonna trust you!"

@BecauseImBatman22

Hello!

I agree with you on the reasons why you think gossiping is bad. I am glad that this is something that we are going over in this course because there is never a good outcome for gossiping.

@BecauseImBatman22
Rightly said! Gossiping kills the trust in you as an individual.

@Heather225

1. Why is gossiping bad?
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!

1- Gossiping is bad because it can be the causation of the problem. It can usually make other people hurt and there is just no single good outcome about it, there is not a reason to do it. It can be used to bully, threaten, or harm others.

2- Something that I learned and I liked about the video is just saying that you don't really know a lot about what is being talked about or that you don't know enough to have an opinion. I think it can help to just go ahead try to switch the conversation away from that direction.

@Andyallen
Gossiping can be the cause of many problems. I agree!

@Andyallen, I really like how you pointed out that even though we may know information on the topic it is best to stay out of the gossip going on. Not always, but most times gossip is negative and it is best not to add fuel to the fire.

@Andyallen
So true! Nothing good comes from gossiping!

Gossiping not looking make the other person look bad but also derogate your own image. The other person would feel like that you also gossip about them behind their back. Also, gossiping is detrimental for a community. It will only spread negativity, false information, hatred, and hurt.

I don’t know the other person’s perspective, so let’s not discuss what they were thinking or feeling in their absence.

@ResilientLucky
Agree with you, it can derogate our own image and make us look bad.

@Heather225

1. Why is gossiping bad? Gossipping is really just about spreading news. Sometimes it is accurate news, but most times it is inaccurate because someone doesn’t have the full story. Any time a rumor is spread it can hurt someone’s feelings, ruin reputations, and make people self conscious. For example, if “Bob” heard about someone saying he has a huge nose he may be really self conscious afterwards and not want to show his face.

2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies! I absolutely loved how the video talked about not commenting when you don’t know enough about the particular topic. When we don’t know the full details that is when a statement becomes negative gossip. Most times it isn’t our place to interject but it especially isn’t when we don’t have all the facts.

@wonderfulRainbow817
I absolutely agree with the self contious part, I am very glad you mentioned that!<3

@Hope2103
*conscious

@wonderfulRainbow817
Thank you for mentioning the self conscious part, good example there!

@wonderfulRainbow817 yeah having all the facts is important, we are often unaware of so many things about the person, it does not feel right to make a judgment

@Heather225
Why is gossiping bad?
- Gossiping is bad as we are breaking the confidentiality and the trust of the person we are gossiping about. It also affects the way people we are gossiping with view us.

List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies.
- I don't know about the situation, so I'd prefer not to talk about it and try to change the subject to something positive.

@Hope2103
Agree with you, gossip does break confidentiality or privacy of the person. Changing the subject to something positive is a good way to stop gossip.

@Heather225

▪︎Why is gossiping bad?
~ Gossip is bad as it changes the way people look at you, it brings lack of trust in a group or an individual. Not only it makes us unlikable but also hurts relationships with other people. Gossip is also one of the causes of negative energy especially in work environments.

▪︎ List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
~ I have been using the similar kind of statement mentioned in the video to avoid gossiping and that is " I don't know the other person's perspective, so I prefer to not discuss what I think they were thinking or feeling in their absence. '' or I just say "I wouldn't want to discuss anything about someone else in their absence without knowing their side of the story." Also simply changing the subject or the topic works too.

@unique73 yeah gossiping can create negative energy and make it difficult for people to work around each other

Why is gossiping bad?
Gossiping can be like a contagious illnness - It can spread very quickly but can be very preventable.
When gossiping starts and spreads it brings everyone under the weather. Everyone can have difficulty recoverying because once this illness inparticular gets you and you spread it, it changes you within. You then become weaker because you have done something that 1) may not involve you and 2) shared in spreading the illness/gossip when it maybe against your own personal values to do so.
So it is best to prevent it from spreading. Like my mum always said "If you have nothing nice to say or say about someone else, then say nothing at all."

List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies.
I don't know about the situation to comment on it. What I do believe is this.....
In any environment when people come together, we all have so much to bring and offer to the place (7Cups) and to each other. We need to appreciate and respect our differences, eachothers views, ideas and even beliefs. We all come from different paths and walks of life. Instead of judging and gossiping we should value all these things, these differences and create a culture in 7 Cups that amplifies and that shows this.

If anyone starts to try and gossip - honour your own beliefs for what is right and yourself by leaving the room - come back later. OR change the topic as suggested is also a good idea.

@Cazzy8752

Really detailed response! I really love how you said it's contagious; I see that occur in public a lot. Rummers from one person can quickly spread to a group of people through gossiping.

@Cazzy8752 that's wonderfully written. Just respecting all differences can make it much easier for us to get along and reduce gossip

@Heather225
1. Why is gossiping bad?
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!

1. gossiping is bad because it can be harmful towards others and spread invalid information.
2. "studies show that if you talk negative about someone else, the person you're saying it to subconsciously places you with that same negative trait in their mind'

@milkoreos

I agree with your answer, Oreos! ❤️ you explained it really well and I agree, gossiping makes a person seem less friendly and as obvious, makes them look untrustworthy! Good luck with the progam!
[Thank you so much for responding to my answer! The double-posting happens sometimes in the forums if there's some connectivity issues but it's all good. I appreciate you reading my answer!]
​​​​

@lueurspace <3

1. Why is gossiping bad? Talking behind someone's back spread rummors, hurting them when they find out.
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies! "I don't know the other person's perspective so i prefer to not discuss."

1. Why is gossiping bad?
it spreads negative information about others and may start a cycle of unnecessary hate and unpleasant conversations. If we gossip in response to others gossiping, we contribute to normalizing it as acceptable behaviour.
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
I don't know enough about the person or situation to be making judgments.

1. Why is gossiping bad?

Gossiping is terrible because it's harmful to the people who are being spoken about behind their backs. If the person were to overhear what was said.. or someone were to pass it on to them.. it could really personally hurt someone.

2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!

"I don't know the other person's side, so I prefer not to discuss anything about what they're thinking or feeling in their absence."

YES!! I use this. Especially when I'm caught in the middle between 2 friends

@Heather225

• Why is gossiping bad?

Gossiping is bad because it is a false illusion that makes one seem that it is benefiting them, but in reality, it not only hurts the person who is the subject of the gossiping, but also the one doing it. Gossiping is used to seemingly make one look better. However, if one gossips a lot, they are known to be untrustworthy, mean, and unhonorable. It actually damages someone’s reputation. Of course, the person that is getting bad rumors under their name is being hurt as well, since people will view them poorly, even if it may not be completely accurate, and they cannot do much to stop it.

• List a statement you learned in the video to help stop gossiping in the replies.

A statement I learned that was important in the video was I don't know the other person's perspective, so I prefer to not discuss what I think they were thinking or feeling in their absence.

@iigotyourbackii

thank you so much for reading and responding to my post here! 💛 I love your response too!

I like how you highlight a really important point which is that even the person who is gossiping is hurt in the end because they're creating a bad reputation for themselves, are seen as being untrustworthy and unreliable. I'd also say that the person may never be able to realize how they're giving in to their own unhealthy habit of bringing other people down and using the power of influence in such a negative way. Your answer really helped, thanks for sharing! Best wishes for the program 💛

@iigotyourbackii

People who gossip are also less likely to trust others because they'd assume people gossip about them too.

@Heather225
1. Why is gossiping bad?
It is disrespectful to the person you are gossping about. It makes others lose trust in you and makes you look bad too.
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
You can change the topic to something more neutral or positive.

@Heather225
Gossiping is deep rooted in the human society. The video is really worthy with the points discussed. Following are my responses for the questions respectively.

1. Why is gossiping bad?

Gossiping in simple words is talking about anyone behind their back. While gossiping, people often judge the person where the person being judged is absent to defend themselves. This might cause an outbreak of false rumor and negatively worsen the situation creating a huge misunderstanding. It can lead to disastrous situation. Besides, on the personal level it delivers a negative trait about the person indulged in the gossip. It can create a lack of trust among people towards the person indulged in the gossip. People might feel unsafe talking out behind them. Hence, gossiping is bad and should be avoided in any situation.

2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!

Gossiping can be stopped in many ways, but the best way to stop is to show no interest and switching the topic of the conversation to anything else. This can stop the gossip without creating stopping the conversation or creating a gap.

See you all in the next discussion!
Spreading love
Ash!

@Heather225

1. Why is gossiping bad?

I think gossiping goes hand in hand with criticizing people behind their backs, it seems to me that speaking ill of someone is something very low, we do not know how that gossip can hurt someone, that is very delicate, however many people do it and it is So many times those affected suffer a lot during a great part of their lives, unfortunately

2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!

1. stay away from someone who creates gossip within our community
2. Ask ourselves what is the point of repeating that information.
3. Find out the problem behind the gossip

@Crystaldancer

Very true.. I've seen most people doing that enjoying it. I have no idea why.