letting go. (May 2023 Reflection)

Hello, Oak here again! 😊

Just like my previous monthly entry, I'll be writing about my reflection of my recovery journey so far during the month of May. It's going to be quite a long read if you're interested or have been reading my previous entries until now, and I truly appreciate it! I'm very thankful to make it this far to journal my experiences with my support system and groups, as well as being here in 7cups.

Thank you so much for your time. Enjoy reading!

💙 compassionateOak202 (◕‿◕✿)

I considered the month of May as the time when I received many hopeful signs about my life. This month began with starting therapy for the first time. I was able to inquire for a therapist a week prior to our first meeting online together. But I never knew it was an online session until after I turned in all the forms required via email. I originally thought I would have a session in-person, but and having an online session seems to be much more convenient since I’ve been living here in the US. The therapist I sought out was based in my native country, since it is more affordable there compared to here.

Anyway, fast forward to our very first session online, which took 30 minutes to figure out which app is convenient to let both of us see each other on the screens, it turned out to be actually okay. I was very anxious prior to my first session with my therapist. He was really kind and nice to talk to. I was even grateful that I can continue to text him even off session hours. I’m honestly proud of myself for being able to seek out a therapist, and being accepted knowing that I am currently far away.

As of this writing, I am waiting for the fourth session with my therapist this week, which will also be my last for now. I’m planning to finally meet my therapist in person for a casual meet up, along with my partner accompanying me. My therapist recently sent me a photo of himself smiling with his coffee maker. I’m asking my mom to help me find a small pack of ground coffee as a gift for him.

Anyway, other than continuing to improve my mental health with my recovery group, therapy and so on, I also managed to play this one game for the last time, at least for now, until I’m in a much better state, or find myself newer and better friends to play that game with. I’ve already made a separate thread that details more about this experience, so feel free to read that one yourself!

Sometimes there are things that we eventually must let go if it no longer brings joy at a certain point in time. And this is one of them. I will surely miss the fun memories I’ve had, especially with my former friend. It was a worthwhile short experience I got to see before I decided to put it behind me, since I have other things I want to focus on now.

Other than that, I’ve been accompanying my sister through our video calls and streaming while she’s been studying for her nursing exam. Her exam is literally next week from the date I posted this thread. She’s been getting anxiety lately about it and has also been feeling lonely. We used to be in the same dorm during my college days. But since she’s pursuing to get her nursing license, she’s been continuing to live abroad for a bit longer.

During the past few weeks, I have helped stream one of our favorite TV shows that would help calm her down or distract her from problems she’s been going through. My weird self would always make her laugh. I hope and pray she’ll pass this exam. It feels like I’ve spent most of this month spending time with her online. I’m glad I got to stick around for longer just to be there for her.

It’s been 3 months since I’ve reached out for help during my crisis. I almost took my life twice. Since then, I’ve been attending my 12-step recovery program, support group meetings, my 1-1 once a week peer support chats, therapy sessions, as well as spending more time with my family and my long-distance partner, who I’ll get to see again in person soon in June.

There was a moment during this month where I felt like I was doing all of this as punishment for what I did during my crisis, especially losing my friendship. But like what most people have told me already, it’s already in the past now. I just need to find a way to move forward and let go of what no longer serves peace for my mind. It was difficult at first, but with time, I’ve managed to slowly progress and overcome it one day at a time.

My experience here in 7cups has also helped me immensely. I’ve been frequently joining the Sharing Circle almost daily, as well as volunteering to help hosting sessions a couple of times during the first few weeks. It was a great yet also hectic experience, but it’ll take time to get used to depending on how many members show up. I also deeply miss my listener who I’ve spoken to a bit frequently ever since I came back to the 7cups platform almost 2 months ago. I pray and hope he’ll be well.

Because of him, I also ended up volunteering to become a listener about more than a week ago. It was kind of rough on my first day but I’m glad I got to seek out a coach who now became my mentor. I wanted to be able to give back by supporting others just as other members and listeners have supported me through my recovery journey. And I’ve also been working on being a safe space for both my sister and partner whenever they are going through rough times.

I’m just glad I came back here to 7cups. I don’t know what I would do without it. Hopefully I’ll continue to spend time here after I come back from my big break. I still have much more to learn and experience on this platform.

I guess that’s all that I wanted to write here for this entry. It’s been a pleasure coming here and reflecting once a month on my recovery journey. I’m glad I’ve got to overcome certain struggles that were holding me back. My therapy sessions and my recovery program have been such an immense help to me.

If you made it this far reading this thread, thank you for taking the time to read my progress on my recovery journey here. I’m grateful for the friends I’ve made here in 7cups, the groups I’ve joined, as well as willing to help others and lend my ear for them in need. I'm very glad to be here with you all.

Just like what I did in my last entry, I’ll conclude this thread with links to the threads I’ve made during the month of May!

Some of these are already linked throughout this entry but I’ll formally paste them here again for better convenience!

(May 05) How to post GIFs / Moving Pictures?

(May 06) Retiring from An Online Gacha Game (a little happy ending.)

(May 16) Self Care Apps & Therapeutic Games

Feel free to also catch up with me on my One Line A Day thread!

See you later in June!

- Oak

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ~ woooossshh

Note: The text colored in blue are clickable links!

Previous thread: one day at a time. (April 2023 Reflection)