My principles and ethics

Hello everyone ,it's me again

I will get to the point immediately

I'm a muslim from Saudi Arabia

In our religion we have our own principles and ethics

We don't eat pigs

We are against homosexuality

We don't hang out or start a relationship with other girl who is not your wife

And many many more what you would call a sin(haram)

But i wanna talk about the last one( relationship with girls) but not in the real world of course because even through in some muslim countries they r kind of ok with the idea of a girl to hang out with boys

Where i live we are strictly against it we don't even allow for a girl or boys to talk with eachother out of respect and ethics

I don't have a problem with that i fully supported now

However there was time where i kind of forgot about our religious ethics and principles

Let me explain further

In 2009 i started using the Internet after my brother gave me his computer when he bought a laptop for himself

I usually spend time watching wrestling videos or the dark knight or anime or play free online game ( specifically escape room)

But in 2010 i signed in online forum after my sister told me about it

I was on online forum that was a fan website of a cartoon channel i use to love and watch.

And there i got to know a lot of...well girls.

And it really brought the worst out of me

I would talk to someone on chat and play on the forum and without knowing i end up falling in love with them

I would get upset when they don't talk to me or massage me

Or whenever i think they like someone else or they spend time talking to or take care of another member of the forum it bring a big jealousy out of me

I became angry and aggressive

I would get very upset and start accusing people of not caring about me and it went so far of insulting people

I basically embarrassed myself infront the whole forum

And as a result I got a bad rep of being short tempered and sensitive guy to the point where people avoid talking to me

And say that I'm hateful and don't associate yourself with him

Even some members i don't know would come to me in chat and start insulting and pick on me without doing anything to them that's how unpopular i was

Basically online relationship with girls brought the worst out of me and i have been obsessed with online forums since 2010 because

Of that until when i decided to stop in 2022(for a specific reason i might talk about it on other thread)

And because in early 2010s i was going through a lit of personal issues and the internet was my escape so i really considered it as a home

But what happened was i told my big brother and cousin about everything i went through told me it's wrong and a sin to have a relationship with another girl our religion doesn't allow that they reminded me of my principles and ethics is more important than strangers you met online

Some of you might say it's different to talk with girl online and real world..which is true but if my reasons to talk with girl on forums or any place online is to satisfy my personal need and fill my emotions with love and compassion

And to have a girl in my life who im not going to marry it's still wrong

And ever since then i made a promise to not go back to online forums and not to have a relationship with another girl

And stick to my principles and ethics because if i forgot about them i would be lost

You may Have a blessed day