moonspace. (my lonely corner)
TW just in case.
hi,
this is just my new diary thread. :') …i was going to write an introduction and then a paragraph or two about why im making this new space until i realised i’m not a person worth knowing anyways, and nothing i say would actually matter. now that i think about it most of what i'd write would be pathetic.
*i’m doing it again - being pathetic. ugh.* anyways… there is just one note i’d like to add here… please, no replies 💜 unless i have tagged you somewhere in this space. i probably won’t be tagging anyone right now though.
this is just my new corner. my lonely space.
thanks for reading :')
- ni.
CW: Religion.
I want to stop analysing, stop thinking, stop everything. i just want to “have faith” like they say. it’s easier that way. It will be easier that way.
Dad literally gave me *** deadline. “you shouldn’t wait, say 2, 3, 5 years to believe.” there is a timeline, yk? Believe, get baptised, go to university, get married blah blah blah. They gave a freaking deadline for my sister to get married. what are they going to do for me?
I hate being real, i hate it when i give hints, and somehow somehow somehow *** what if they know. What if they know i'm queer and they just aren’t saying anything. sometimes i think that.
I want to hide and pretend, go along with it. but it’s so hard at the same time to wear the mask. to wear several masks.
i hate having conversations about my questioning and ***. i hate prayer time. I'm a *** for hating it, i'm an idiot for hating it, but some nights i can't stop sobbing about it and other nights i'm downright ***. It makes me tired, im so *** tired, but i don’t know, idk… at the same time i just. idk.
i found this picture one time.
I won’t lie….. that’s what it feels like sometimes.
Ugh
