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literally hate myself atp.

maxisthebest January 23rd

TW:// Breakups, pregnancy, mental hospitals, vomiting (for those that have emetophobia, I have it as well)


Im so done. With everything. With breakups, with being pregnant, with my mental health, with school, with grades, with family, with everything. My friends have always told me to never throw my hands up and just quit. But that's what I'm doing. I can't take it anymore. I just want someone to genuinely care about me.

Maybe two hours ago, my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me. Said I was going to be a horrible mother, and that I am a piece of ***.

All I did was care for him. When he got hurt I bandaged him, when he had his surgery, I cried in class because I was so scared that he was not going to live.

When I had my first choir concert of this year, and he showed up to my choir concert, I was so happy that my legs were shaking. I had to run to the bathroom because I started crying, I was so happy.

All I did was love him. All I did was try to give him the world. I really did care about him.

I don't know what I did wrong. If I could change it, I would. 

I've been crying, shaking, rocking, and vomiting for the last 2 hours because of this. 

I don't know what to do. My parents are sending me to a mental hospital for a minimum of 9 months. Im going to have my baby in there. I hope they will let me keep him/her. There is one hospital in my state that allows you to keep your child if they are born at the hospital you are in, and I'm begging and praying I'm going to that one. I hate not knowing.

I really just want to quit, throw my hands up and be done. My baby isn't going to have a father figure because of this. I don't want that for my child. I want my child to have a loving mother figure, and a loving father figure, even if the mother figure isn't me, I want the best for my baby.


Maybe I'm js overreacting. Love you all.


@iloveyouxx @pixierobin @free2118 @steph8402 (sorry for tags)

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pixierobin January 23rd

@maxisthebest oh max I’m so so sorry you are dealing with all this rn and I’m so glad you tagged me❤️ Ik there’s not much I can do rn but I do truly care about you and I’m always here for you no matter what. Ik it’s so scary the idea of not being able to be there for your child but you being willing to do whatever it takes for the well-being of your child shows how amazing of a mother and person you are. And I’m so sorry about your boyfriend idk even know what to say it’s so hard to lose that but I’m always here and you did nothing wrong you are such a caring sweet amazing strong strong person even if you don’t feel like it rn. It’s not overreacting I promise I know how hard this is too deal with and I just want you to know I love you so so much❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ please don’t give up 🫶🫶 but I’m always here no matter what if ok *huggles you so so so tight*

2 replies
maxisthebest OP January 23rd

@pixierobin ty pizie, i love you so much /p <3 <3

1 reply
pixierobin January 23rd

@maxisthebest awww of course max you deserve so Macy love and I wanna give you as much as I can🫶🫶❤️❤️💙 I love you too🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

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free2118 January 23rd

max *hugs* i hope you know you are amazing for staying so strong. this situation is so so so hard. breakups (i’ve been through a pretty rough one) are so hard and takes time but you are so strong and amazing and i know you can get through it. i hope the hospital you go to also let’s you keep the baby(: i know you’ll be such an amazing mother. and love the baby with all you have.

love you so much maxy:) im praying for the best for you.

1 reply
maxisthebest OP January 24th

@free2118

thank you free, I love you too <3 💗

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