literally hate myself atp.

TW:// Breakups, pregnancy, mental hospitals, vomiting (for those that have emetophobia, I have it as well)

Im so done. With everything. With breakups, with being pregnant, with my mental health, with school, with grades, with family, with everything. My friends have always told me to never throw my hands up and just quit. But that's what I'm doing. I can't take it anymore. I just want someone to genuinely care about me.

Maybe two hours ago, my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me. Said I was going to be a horrible mother, and that I am a piece of ***.

All I did was care for him. When he got hurt I bandaged him, when he had his surgery, I cried in class because I was so scared that he was not going to live.

When I had my first choir concert of this year, and he showed up to my choir concert, I was so happy that my legs were shaking. I had to run to the bathroom because I started crying, I was so happy.

All I did was love him. All I did was try to give him the world. I really did care about him.

I don't know what I did wrong. If I could change it, I would. 

I've been crying, shaking, rocking, and vomiting for the last 2 hours because of this. 

I don't know what to do. My parents are sending me to a mental hospital for a minimum of 9 months. Im going to have my baby in there. I hope they will let me keep him/her. There is one hospital in my state that allows you to keep your child if they are born at the hospital you are in, and I'm begging and praying I'm going to that one. I hate not knowing.

I really just want to quit, throw my hands up and be done. My baby isn't going to have a father figure because of this. I don't want that for my child. I want my child to have a loving mother figure, and a loving father figure, even if the mother figure isn't me, I want the best for my baby.

Maybe I'm js overreacting. Love you all.

@iloveyouxx @pixierobin @free2118 @steph8402 (sorry for tags)