Volume Septimo
Millenials are a 'sandwich generation' btw taking care of the 'Gen X'ers' and 'Boomers' who were heavily influenced by the '1st 1/2 of the 20th c. cohorts'^1 (more than they would like to admit--I heard how Boomer and Gen X Germans had difficulties relating to their parents b/c of the complacency in the infamy of the 1930's, which in turn got a lot of it's momentum from prejudices which got 'dangerously bubbly' by the mid 1800s onwards --Otto Bismarck's nationalism apparently needed to unify and shlock like social Darwinism) and 'the Zoomers' who they 'want to relate to' despite steady changes in the relatability of the 'bells and whistles' (consumer tech and media) which hold the attention spans of those more developmentally disimilar and vulnerable..
Not to mention the offspring of 'the millenials who made it' even w/auto and living space ownership struggles.
* who were really more like a '19th c. part III' group so much than most would prefer to admit not only if you factor in how different tech exposure and literacy demographics let different attitudes thrive and what that meant when it comes to say outcomes of 'Flynn effect' graphs but
'Speak out loud here or forever hold your peace'..
a risk of ennui if only in a 24 hr gap from work wherest I'll be 'recovering myself' somewhat..can't be self-critical for how so much of what I'd like to do is video or internet based, not the least the impulse for tutorials on art or chess.
Don't want to return to exercise just yet..struggling to sleep. I'll admit to how I s--k at meditation b/c these sorts of things right here are verily the sort of 'distractions' which make you look at your phone after a while and see how only 5 minutes have passed in that tedium, far from the rare instances of achievement, of 'floating' intrapersonally irregardless of the time, your surroundings or even postural integrity to an extent.
If Cody Franklin is my historian than Isaac Arthur is my futurist.
While there is something to be said about looking into understanding finances via meandering around websites like coinbase or looking into what developing more into nft stuff would look like..@~@, >_< *sigh* you could be back to the square one phase of last April and I would dare say that looking into making that sort of thing a study is still ultra stressful.
I remember how when it came to the work at home modules some of us were privileged to do, there were some modules about understanding finances which I was way more hesitant to pick to do, in contrast to say Native Canadian history which I felt I would not run out of steam / motivation for in the same way.
I put pressure and self-kicking on myself for not going out when it's a beautiful day and I'm still lingering from an addiction and will feel terrible for not being at 'typical health' to all the better absorb a gleaming summer day -- even if the COVID scene wasn't a thing, d--n winter in always a reason for confinement in Canada.
When you think about expectations which are inevitable or neccesary for a process it's difficult to believe that it's not predetermined altogether.
In one sense, I can see how a conviction determinism can mean self-determinism both as a form of enacted self-direction and a volitional possibility..but I hate how according to a certain vein of compatabilism (Patricia Churchland's) it'd mean that 'soft'-determinism is compatabilism, the overlap btw free will and determinism.
'_' It really boils down to 'attitude' and being in control of it..and that annoys me maybe not as much or not only b/c of the weight of meaning meaning 'a different flavour of responsibility' in practise but..it makes it seem that demonstrating 'free will' would be intentionally ignoring a/o being careless of the execution of something which is a lousy way to frame what could so often count for autonomy and makes it so much more easy, in that 'self-defeating lose-lose' attitude sort of way that free will is just what happens when you finally settle or accept how much you failed a/o s--k--d.
__
'_' *sigh* and the followers of more evolutionary based theories of mind, might quasi-disparage all this as an expression of the biology of competing..
...to much passive stuff actively tries to cage us in (bills etc) nowadays that free will seldom gets expressed well and responsibiliy esp.before your body deteriorates in the late capitalist rat race.
In once sense this supports a notion in my mind of 'art as free will being experienced' and expected to be consistently enjoyable..
-_- that is after getting through d--n learning curves and the entailments of gather the resources for investment and optimal practising etc, et al.
'doom' happens w/either form of volition whether it be b/c you do your own thing and wind up being thrashed in the white rapids as you commit to how what is around will never relative in a deluded/apathetic self-deception sort of way or b/c even if your exhausted and try to give yourself to 'heal at your own tempo' however unfamilar a sensation it is, it'll mean that those surrounding processes will do there borderline immutable results of impacting you in ways which deteriorate or halt you, maybe into near 'final changes' or dying...
'the opposite of doom', whatever it is entails too much energy and commitment from 'everything not you/which you're not in control of'
I stress ate through chocolates etc and dread how near the only effective counterbalance to pornography is 'junk food'.
Deteste eso tanto.
=_= D--n how rare sentience is and how most often what we have isn't enough, quite friggin frail and doesn't change the lack of integrity most have when it comes to explaining what it all means.
When I started slowly coming back to my senses after the disastrous first semester of grade 11, across the block to the South from the high school I went to and just across the street was a place where they sold some kind of wrapped food.
I stepped in and asked if they served pita weap sandwiches of sorts. I was told yes; the vibe was Middle Eastern and until then I had mainly been familiar with pita bread from Greek food places with souvlakis and the like. What I ordered I think was what turned out to be an 'underdressed' falafel sandwich of sorts.
How I first learned about shawarma's - - early February 2008 (?)
