@Ernaest keep surviving. Even if youre using extra time to lay there and listen to motivational videos or sermons or positive influences (like fav youtubers/etc), thats good. If you use the internet as a tool, like you're doing now, it might help even a little bit. That little bit can help get you through this tough time of survival. Be kind to yourself (and others). Try to write and read and watch and do little things that make you feel just a bit better. Don't feel silly. Don't feel alone... There is always hope. Life is forgiving. Believe that and keep going.
Survival is a skill in and of itself. This might be a big strength of yours if you don't give up.
If you do any small, good thing you can make yourself do... its worthy and important! Think of who you'd want to see as a role model or motivational influence, what they'd say or do that you can also say and do. Don't try to be something that doesn't suit you, but keep being someone. ♡ Future happy you will thank ya for the survival.
