Scattered Thoughts
Thought it might be a good idea to have my own thread where I can think things out and rant without feeling guilty about invading other peoples spaces.
So about the cake I made? Well
It had the consistency of a brownie since the recipe used almond flour instead of regular flour, and combined with the icing it was kinda too rich to eat. So my mom wanted to throw it away so we wouldn't eat any more of it, but I decided that I wanted to
Crush it to bits with my bare hands lmao I'm more than a little strange
And that's the development
true trueI feel so sick and twisted sometimes (most of the time/all the time? maybe)
@ThePizza I don't know how to comfort you with words but I can sit here with you if you want, if it helps. <3
@ThePizza *sitting with you too M*
@intelligentWheel627 @mytwistedsoul @admaiorasemper
Thank you for joining me in the corner here. It really means a lot to me and I appreciate all of you <3
I'll be there today, I swear
Twin Skeletons by Fall Out Boy
@ThePizza Hey M :) I was just thinking about you - How are you? Still like cats? Are you still cat sitting? Does school start soon? That has to kind of - well - suck really. Not being able to go to actual classes - hang with friends - just be a teenager. I really feel for you on that
OH! I've been wanting to ask if you guys did a garden this year? I know you said a lifetime ago that your dad bought seeds - I think about it every day when I mess around in the garden
Be gentle with yourself M - and your thoughts :)
@mytwistedsoul
:0 Did someone say cats? Lol! Definitely still like them :) Sadly I'm not catsitting anymore though. I can't remember if I mentioned this before, but the reason my neighbor wanted me to catsit was because she's moving to a different state and needed to look for houses. She had to take the cats with her though so that they could do viewings for her house here :( But I'm confident that there will be quite a few more cats in my future haha
Oh boy school is kinda complicated lol-- so I'm starting school in two weeks, and in my county there were two different options for the school year: all online Virtual Academy, or a rotation thing. In the rotation there are three groups; Group A will go to the school building for one week and do online for two weeks, Group B will do online for a week, go to the school building for a week, and do online for a week, and Group C will do two weeks online and a week at the school building (with social distancing practices and wearing a mask all day). I'm doing the all online Virtual Academy (and my brother is too), because I'm at risk with the asthma and some of my family are at risk because of other things, and because it'll be a lot more constant than switching between the online school and going to the actual school building. Plus, if the cases rise, there's a chance that the people on the rotation plan will have a period of all online learning anyway. I think it will definitely be nice to not have to be in the school building, but there are some things I'll miss about not going to school with other people in person. And I am a little bit bummed that I won't get the same experience other people are getting by going to the actual building. I do get to see some friends at swim practice though, and that's always a blast. Although we're all getting split into different groups pretty soon and some of my friends have already moved to different groups so--- ahhhhhh. Guess we're all lucky to have technology the way we do right now. Not that I really call people all that much, lol. Texting is preferred, thank you, don'tcha know? I'm socially anxious whooooo
Speaking of being a teenager-- I'm taking driver's ed next week! For now I'm just doing a week-long class, no actual driving yet, but still. I'm kinda overdue for the class so I'm glad I got in. Next to my swimming facility is an old mall that's mostly closed, but it has a big parking lot that's mostly empty and yesterday my mom let me drive her car a little bit. It was kinda fun, but then again I wasn't doing signals or looking in the review mirrors or anything. I'm sure it'll be harder once I have to focus on that stuff too.
Sadly no :( Tbh I think in the end I was really the only one who really wanted to have a garden, and I had a lot of stuff going on so I kinda stopped reminding them about it. It would be cool if we could try sometime though. I am curious about your greenhouse and garden and the things you're growing :) you don't have to tell me though
Thank you 
Tbh my therapist has helped me to be a lot more gentle in regards to my thoughts on swimming but I feel like other things have resurfaced because of that. The reminder from you is helpful 
@ThePizza I think you did mention that they were moving - it kind of sucks that you won't be cat sitting any more though. That might be something you could offer to do though in the neighborhood. A pet sitter - allthough - I guess maybe people aren't going on as many vacations right now
Wow - school does sound kind of complicated right now with the scheduling. It is nice that you can see them at swim practice but it has to be kind of rough - with the lack of movies and concerts and stuff. Normal things - I guess we're finding a new different normal. I hate phone calls too lol - its like thats not what my phone is for lol!
Drivers ed? Holy cow M - that is awesome! Independence! Freedom! Lol - it's really cool she's letting you practice alittle. You'll get the hang of it quick I bet - and before you know it you'll be cruising the neighborhood. If you're one of the first of your friends to get your license - you'll be the go to person for wheels :)
Well theres allways next year to try a garden. It relaxing to pull weeds lol. I never thought I'd actually say that because I used to hate it but it really isn't so bad anymore. Right now we have sugar peas - green beans - potatoes - cabbage - canteloupes and peanuts growing. The broccoli and cauliflower have allready been harvested and frozen for later. The green house mostly just has flowers in it - petunias and some Easter lilies - a Grecian rose and a pink silk tree. Oh and strawberries are growing too - the blueberries didn't do anything this year. And the dang deer seem to think it's a smorgasbord - they like to eat everything lol! They ate the rose bushes and munch off the tops of the sugar peas. And the red beets lol - forgot all about those :) I've yelled them to knock it off but so far they really don't seem to care lol!
I'm glad your therapist is helping you be gentle with your thinking about swimming - you are right though and other things seem to come to the surface again though. I'm glad the reminders are helpful though 🙂
@mytwistedsoul
Ahhh I didn't see this until today
It would be fun to be a pet sitter. I've never really been interested in sitting kids but it would be cool to take care of animals. Hopefully next year it'll be safer and people will travel again.
I am going to miss the normal things, although I think I may have already been missing that stuff a little bit because of swimming. Hopefully I can still meet up with some friends outside of swim or something. It'll take a while to figure out, that's for sure. Normal's taking a while to set in again. Who gets a phone to CALL people?? So strange
It'll be fun to get to drive around and nice to get to places myself. Kinda funny because I have a lot of friends who are almost half a year older than me, but then in another group of friends I'm the oldest by a lot haha. So I can ride with some friends early and then pass it on to the others
Wow, you have a lot of cool stuff growing! I bet it helps cut down on the groceries. I guess weeding has become part of your new normal lol. I imagine it would be relaxing on a nice day when it's a good temperature and there are birds singing or something. A whole tree! That's so cool! I got a tiny little cactus for myself today :D Those deer must think you're growing a buffett table for them! Or maybe they're messing with you :)
@ThePizza Oh! Good song too BTW :)
@mytwistedsoul
:) Another one-- Viva La Vida by Coldplay
@ThePizza Yes! Coldplay is awesome!
*good thing I looked before I posted lol - it auto corrected to say cosplay is awesome LOL* lets not make it weird J :)
@mytwistedsoul
Lmao 
Autocorrect is out to get us all
Not going to lie though there is one fandom I'm in that I would really like to cosplay
You're learning all my dark secrets! First the cats and now this :)
@ThePizza I'm pretty sure my smart phone is trying to make me look stupid LOL
The cosplay stuff is cool - the costumes are amazing! The steampunk ones - holy cow people put alot into them. All of the costumes actually - really cool :)
No worries M - I won't tell anyone lol!