Scattered Thoughts

Feeling like my life is meaningless. Been in jobs ive slowly started to hate. Cant seem to get ahead. I just want my passion to mean something and not put me in a position where other people get more out of it than i do. I think about suicide a lot and im on meds atm but having to switch doctors to stay on them without going broke because of our fucked up health care system.

I have a wonderful fiance i do want to spend the rest of my life with but i just wanna be happy in other areas of life too

Ready Aim Fire by Imagine Dragons

With our backs to the wall
The darkness will fall
We never quite thought
We could lose it all

Ready aim fire
Ready aim fire
An empire is falling
In just one day
You close your eyes
And the glory fades
Ready aim fire
Ready aim fire away
Ready aim fire
Ready aim fire away

Off in the distance
There is resistance
Bubbling up and festering
Hey Mr. Motion
Make me a potion
Shake it all up
With your mistery
How come I've never seen
Your face around here
I know every single face
Around here
A man on a mission
Changing the vision
I was never welcome here
We don't have the choice to stay
We'd rather die than
Do it your way

With our backs to the wall
The darkness will fall
We never quite thought
We could lose it all

Ready aim fire
Ready aim fire
An empire is falling
In just one day
You close your eyes
And the glory fades
Ready aim fire
Ready aim fire away
Ready aim fire
Ready aim fire away

Checking the casing
Shaking and pacing
This is the tunnels life
Blood in the writting
Stuck in the fighting
Look through the riffle's sight
How come I've never seen
Your face around here
I know every single face
Around here
Hearing the echo
Holding the shackle
I was never welcome here
We don't have the choice to stay
We'd rather die than
Do it your way

With our backs to the wall
The darkness will fall
We never quite thought
We could lose it all

Ready aim fire
Ready aim fire
An empire is falling
In just one day
You close your eyes
And the glory fades
Ready aim fire
Ready aim fire away
Ready aim fire
Ready aim fire away

Oh
Oh oh
Oh
Oh oh oh
Oh oh
Oh

With our backs to the wall
The darkness will fall
We never quite thought
We could lose it all

Ready aim fire
Ready aim fire
An empire is falling
In just one day
You close your eyes
And the glory fades
Ready aim fire
Ready aim fire away
Ready aim fire
Ready aim fire away

@ThePizza Hey M - Just wanted to check in with you. Wondering how you are. I hope with the holiday you'll be able to find some time for yourself to relax.

Be gentle with yourself and your thoughts

@mytwistedsoul @NoneTheWiser

This might not work— well see

@mytwistedsoul @NoneTheWiser

blob:https://onlinejpgtools.com/1829d928-ebb5-4910-8e7f-078168e13b05

So… I dont know why it didnt let me add this as an image but I guess I figured it out? (Lets hope this works)

Anyway— um here I am

@mytwistedsoul @NoneTheWiser

https://imgur.com/a/wVn1k38

Hmm. When I checked it it popped up in some sort of feed thing— its just the one picture, lol. With the book

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays everyone! I hope you all have a good day and are feeling okay

I am a few hours late, but I wanted to wish you a happy Christmas Mere <3

Thoughts

Self care— but when is it too late? I need to know

Dont feel right— get out get out get out (family— curse that word) triggers (why dont you believe me? Thought it was innocent til proven guilty but now its nothing until proven something— oh but thats fine because IM A MINOR ANYWAY)

Tense

Thank god for the good people

the special person

Armor on, guns at the ready— final click of the helmet— its showtime

cant trust my own head (close your eyes and breathe)

at least I know Ive got friends here

Sometimes its so hard to know whats real

Or hard to know what I want to be real

What I want to make real

(What are these voices in my head from anyway? WHO are they?)

Note to self: Sometimes the words fit together in a certain order but the idea is better conveyed by the switch

P.S.

@mytwistedsoul @NoneTheWiser @admaiorasemper

Everyone is in my thoughts