Ryan's Heart
Dear 7cups diary,
It's the 12th of December and it's only about 2 months until I turn 18. I have so much to do and some many feelings I just can't let the people I love know that I have. My dad keeps talking about things I love and care about and it hurts. I don't know why I always have to hurt. I just want to be happy, but it's not possible while living here. Once I get out of here, I'm taking my siblings and I'm giving them a better life than I've been able to have.
Sincerely,
Ryan❤️
@BubbleFlower
Dear 7cups diary,
I was told 4 days ago that my best friend died before the new year. It hurts so much, but I'm so glad that I was able to have such an amazing friend. I'm having to hold back tears while typing this and I've cried so much. I don't think a better friend could've existed. We were going to be the chaotic duo going onto the adult side and we were birthday month twins. I'm gonna miss him arguing about coffee being better, him talking about his grandma and son, him talking about how pasta tastes like rubber, and just being able to tell him how much he means to me. I may be hurting right now, but I know it'll stop one day and I'll live my life to the fullest since he wasn't able to. I'll do everything with more conviction and with everything I have. I have to. It's that only way I'm going to survive this.
Sincerely,
Ryan Lucas
@BubbleFlower
Dear 7cups Diary,
It's March 22 and I got a mental evaluation recently. I'm taking a new medicine and I'll admit, it works better than the other one. Apparently, my mom and I both have borderline personality traits. It probably explains a lot. I miss all of my friends on the teen side. I don't know if I really wanna make any friends on the adult side. What if they leave me or they die too? I don't wanna deal with that again. I love people too much and I know it would hurt more than I can take. I go from being happy one minute to so sad and depressed the next. It's tiring. There's no telling if I'll be fine or if I'll be hurting inside. I don't even know if I'm okay. What if I have to tell someone about the bp traits and they think I'm a bad person? I can't just be like "Hey, yeah I'm a great person who'll be weird with you and be there for you if you need me because I know what it's like to need someone." I don't think they'd believe me. It doesn't help that I get paranoid. I don't think anyone would really be able to look at me the same if I said the things that I get paranoid about. Maybe trying to save up for therapy would be a good idea for me.
Sincerely,
Ryan Lucas
@BubbleFlower
Ryan🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💜💜
Idk.. If you remember me but i really miss you 😔
I don't really know what to say but please take care of yourself 💜
I'm sorry you're going through this much
@navyHouse3677
Of course I remember you. I miss you a lot
@BubbleFlower
Ryan 🥺🥺
Teen side... Isn't like it used to be.. Don't really feel to even enter.. In chat rooms...
How's you doing💜?
*pokes Ryan* 😮 Emo found your corner. How’s Ryan going and how’s the oldies side?
@emotionalTalker2260
Emo 💜💜💜
@emotionalTalker2260
The adult side is alright I guess. I haven't been in the chat rooms much or made any friends yet. *hugs Emo*
@BubbleFlower
😮 Emo is coming. Cups wants to evict me from the teenie side in May 😢 buttt, good news, is that you’ll definitely have a friend with you on the dinosaur side hahaha 😊 *hugs hugs dear Ryan*
