My space. But it could be anyone's.
(warning: it may be too sad or annoying)
I used to be so excited and dreamful about studying and working in a different city, starting a new life, and I moved out on December of 2019 - I have never thought pandemic would appear and locked us up in our homes.
People are barely going to their normal lives in the last months and they are super happy about it, because they can see their loved ones or go on vacation, but I have noticed that I lack any emotion right now.
I am not feeling like listening voice notes or ever answering messages, I lost contact with tons of people, I don't really want to see my family or friends, I am hating my job and I am not happy with my studies. Don't mind me - I don't regret studying, but it is just I am not excited to read and speak in english language anymore. I am stuck in several subjects and I don't really think I will pass them. I am also losing faith in several things and my energy is too low - I don't even want to spend a time alone with my partner.
I am constantly nervous and I feel my heart bumping against my chest. Social media was killing me with all its negative stuff, so I decided to stop using Facebook and Instagram for a whole year.
By the way, I only wanna sleep all day. And the simple thought of starting studying again makes me nervous and afraid of everything.
The pandemic has affected us in so many ways.
Motivation is extremely in short supply these two years... You are not the only one for sure. I think in future they will look back at this pandemic and see how there is collective trauma involved. Some may find it easier to live with it and keep going. Others may be more sensitive.
Did you consider seeking some counselling and maybe just do a quick medical checkup as well?
Sometimes I find it easier to talk to a therapist or use online support chats than to communicate with friends.
Wishing you to find energy and hope throughout.
