My Little Public Diary

A video that has been making me laugh: DISCORD SINGS IT'S BEEN SO LONG (horribly), by Nightmare. I'd link it, but copy-paste doesn't want to. :/ 🤷‍♀️

Probably unpopular opinion: I like masks. I like hiding my face, I like not getting a cold or flu 1-2 times a year, and oddly, I like that there are fewer things to analyze when it comes to other people's facial expressions. Thankfully I don't have a discomfort with eye contact, near or direct. I hope that some people continue to wear masks even when most things are getting near back to normal, because I would like to keep wearing them without getting criticized for it.

I had "Creeping Towards the Door" on my head all day yesterday. I certainly liked having a steady rythm while I was racing to process instruments at least as fast as they were being used.

It's frustrating when I get job recruitment communications from just outside the area that my family is legally geographically restricted to because the pro-father judge decides that the rapist and his victim should be treated equally. Like "Oh, he got arrested? Be sure to run a psychological evaluation on the mother too. You know, the whole 3 days and thousands of dollars deal, cause she needs to be treated the same." "Oh, he needs to go to therapy? Be sure to make her go too. What, she chose a different therapist? Nah, make them go to the same one, I said equal, right?" "Ohh, he got a /federal/ crime, well, I mean, he was geographically restricted in the first place, but now narrow it down to just the 2 counties. Her too, don't forget." (And for the crime that should have gotten him 10 years, since he is a rich kid with rich parents he got off with 7 years probation and a lesser charge after 2 years of court.) And of course I have to live with my family, because that's how we are going to be able to afford living. Condensing resources and all.

My work decided to take credit for something that they made other people do, and it not only pissed me off knowing that the right people are not getting the credit, but it also embarrassed some of my coworkers when they discovered it themselves. Since I have been eating more junk food lately, /especially/ last week, I have gained some weight and I think I am finally at a really good weight for my body! On the down side, I might need to get new bras soon...

https://youtu.be/lKfAoHnLstk I Like To Move It (2016 Edit) is on my head. It probably sounds funny to someone else (a remix of a kid's movie song?) but I like it anyway.

Woke up with a headache this morning, and some of my first thoughts included "what if I could travel back in time and kill Snyder (the rapist) before he could hurt and enslave my family?" And then some regular mild "old memories are bothering me" stuff. There was one time when I was told to take some boxes to the dumpster, and on my way back, some teenagers about my age (of whom I have met one on the playground before) started walking and talking with me for a couple of minutes. When I got home and locked the door, turns out mom had been following and watching me and I had accidentally locked her out because my sister didn't say anything (hoh boy, locking her out of/anything/ was always an instant trouble-trigger). She banged in the door, and I apologized and told her that I didn't know she was out there. She flipped out about me talking with other people out there. Like beating me and screaming and dragging me by my hair flipped out. When dragging me through the hall, she nearly trampled and knocked a step stool onto Sun (youngest sister) and Rasp (middle sister) saved her from harm; later mom was screaming about /me/ nearly hurting Sun and /her/ having saved her. She was also pissed about me raising my arm to protect my face/head when she would target those, and the next several beating sessions included training me out of that. She's a lot better now, no longer abusive. Very controlling and down-putting still, but at least she's not beating and swearing all over the place anymore. She's a lot nicer, more tolerant and more reasonable. But the first 2/3rds of my childhood sucked, minus a couple of years in the middle of that.

I used a step counter at work for the first time. Turns out I walked over 6 miles, just in the building. Interesting to learn.

Hol' up, do I have Asperger's? I might have Asperger's...

What is it about swearing? I understand the use of the words as exclamations or for emphasis, but why do people swear so much when they are stressed, especially anger-type like frustrated? I have heard that it helps "blow off steam." That's an interesting concept: verbal attacks help to prevent physical attacks. And why do people use the words that they do? Why are words related to sexual activity, feces, or urine often used as exclamations and angry emphasis? I rarely use substitute swear words, almost never as emphasis but sometimes as exclamations. Though I haven't heard anyone using some of the ones that I use... eg. Walk into a room with an overflowing sink? "What the crud!"