Letter to a friend.
Hi friend,
It's been a long time since we had a heart to heart conversation. Sometimes, mental health issues can make you feel like you're a bad person. There are times when I forget to check-in before venting or don't listen when I should. You may not know this but I feel more hurt by my own actions than you do. I always feel like reaching out, asking how you've been, know about your life but somehow survival is a difficult task and I get trapped in my own thoughts like a caged bird. Some days I wish I could tell you how much I love and respect you. If only I could tell you I just try to protect you from me. From the versions of me I dislike. I know you'd never hate me if I tell you but I'm afraid of becoming one of those people who have hurt me in the past. I don't want to be them. I don't want to ghost you but I don't want you to know how broken I'm on the inside and for how long I've been here. How much of myself I've given, to be in a place where I've nothing left for myself. You've already been through so much and I'm scared of being just another person who hurts you. Perhaps, you'd never know how much I love you and what you mean to me. I'd never be able show it the way I feel it but I'm hoping that my love reaches you in the all the beautiful ways. I hope you find people who love you and that way I'd think that love includes some of my love, too. I hope you get the best of everything. I wish the beautiful sunshine fills your life with hopes and I'd think I'm there with you, somewhere, in those rays of light. When you hear the songs of a little bird in the morning, I wish the songs include the songs I had written for you but never showed you. I don't know if you'd ever get to know this love is from me or not, but I wish to be forgotten too. That sounds a little pessimistic but.. you know. Fill this up yourself hehe.
I hope you remain my best friend in my next birth too<3
Please take care of yourself. You matter more than you know. And I can't stop crying when I think of you and your kindness. Thank you for helping me remain alive.
Love,
Bye. 🦋
@Stormandshelter
Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt and vulnerable message. I can feel the weight of what you’re carrying and I want you to know that it takes a lot of courage to express your struggles and fears and I truly admire your honesty.
I hear you when you say you worry about being a burden or hurting others. But it’s also important to remind yourself that reaching out and being vulnerable doesn’t make you broken, it shows strength. Remember, you are worthy of love and support, just as you give it so freely to others.
Take care of yourself. Sending lots of warmth and light your way.