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JoeTamez's Virtual Journal

SpecialSystem December 24th, 2020

Possible triger warnings: sexual assault, self harm, bad words

Pronouns i go by: She her he him (ask me daily incase you are going to use one of them)

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SpecialSystem OP December 24th, 2020

Hi im Joe laugh

heres a few things you should know about me

Ive been self harming since 7th grade and now im in 11th

Ive been sexually assaulted multiple times by the same guy from 7th- 9th grade

i have Suicidal thoughts every day

My distant relitive is my best friend

I blame myself for everything

I hate being ignored, it makes me feel like a waste of space and that leads to self harm

I think thats enough for now <3

3 replies
hopebeyondpain December 24th, 2020

@JoeTamez

It's so good to meet you, Joe! Let's not forget: you love popcorn! *shares some freshly popped popcorn*

Welcome to our community, we're so happy to get to know you better. ❤️ Take care and stay awesome, Joe!

hopebeyondpain December 24th, 2020

@JoeTamez

On a serious note, I'm sorry for everything that has happened to you. You didn't deserve any of it, and you're very much loved and valued here. ❤️ You can always come talk to us in the chat rooms, or on PMs if you're needing some support. You're not a waste of space at all, Joe, your warm, encouraging presence is always welcome. ❤️

1 reply
SpecialSystem OP December 24th, 2020

@hopebeyondpain

Thank you Hope, i cant tell you how much it means to me to hear someon say those things to me heart thank you for everything heart

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SpecialSystem OP December 26th, 2020

Hello my groupies heart

Today was ok.

My friend is ignoring me because they want nothing to do with me now cause we fought over something now they leave the chat when i enter crying

SpecialSystem OP January 6th, 2021

I think i was raped acciently on new years eve by someone close to me and i really need to talk about it crying

SpecialSystem OP May 27th, 2021

first day back again and people are arguing with me and fighting each other after i sent trigger warnings for my poems

3 replies
hopebeyondpain May 28th, 2021

@Joe00

Hey Joe ❤️❤️ It's really good to hear from you again

I think you did the right thing by sending a trigger warning, I would've done the same thing. It's not your fault that other people act the way they do ❤️

If you'd like, you can send your poem here too, I'd love to read it ❤️

chibird — I make a lot of art about feeling better when we...

2 replies
SpecialSystem OP June 1st, 2021

@hopebeyondpain

I missed you <3 thx for always coming to comment in my journal, its greatly appreaciated <3

Here are my poems

Poem one

The bears are eating her alive

All night

They feast on her pain and heartbreak

Her sorrow is immense

The bears are eating her alive

All night

She thinks of everything she lost

Her pain is intense

The bears are eating her alive

All night

They leave scratches and cuts

Her screaming is loud

It is morning

The bears have left

There is no sign that they were there

She knows they will be back

Again

poem two

“You are worthless “

The bears screamed

They used their nails to cut at her flesh

Her screaming was loud

“You are Pathetic”

The bears roared

They used their nails to cut at her flesh

Her crying was intense

“You’re no good”

The bears shouted

They used their nail to cut at her flesh

Her pain was immense

The nights go on

She takes her pills

Hoping

Praying

That the bears don't come back

1 reply
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EmmaE May 29th, 2021

@Joe00

hi joe! thank you so much for sharing this with us Red heart

i'm just letting you know that i've moved your post to the diary entries sub-forum in the general support subcommunity because it's more relevant to your thread!

i hope you can get the very best support Red heart

⋆ ˚。⋆✿˚ no rain, no flowers. ˚✿⋆。˚ ⋆

SpecialSystem OP January 27th, 2022

im moving to the adult side on my member account on the 1st of February and ill be with the oldies. im so nervous. i hope they are nice to me

1 reply
hopebeyondpain February 2nd, 2022

Hey Joe, it's good to hear from you again! :-) I moved to the oldie's side several months ago and so far everyone has been nice. I hope that's true for you too. My PMs are always open of you want to pop by! <3

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