I wish I couldn't cry anymore. (TW: Mention of self harm, vague mentions of suicide)
Between the runny nose, and the headache that can last for days afterward, or the random little things that can set it off, I just wish it didn't happen to me. (Seriously, this time it was an old cereal commercial from when I was a kid. Really!? A stupid old commercial!?) I want to just cut my own eyes out to make it stop sometimes but I know the consequences of that would probably be far worse.
And even worse is seeing my eyes all red and puffy and everything. It's like I might as well have painted a sign above my head that says "please treat me like garbage and make me feel worse." Because Idk what it is about seeing someone cry that turns people into absolute monsters. That they just assume that they're they reason you're upset and will take it personally and will turn around and do everything in their power to make you feel even worse.
Idk. I can't tell if Icm more angry at myself or them. But I think at myself is easier, and safer, because at least I might be able to do something about it without hurting someone else. If only I had a switch I can just shut off and power down until things were all over with. Sadly life doesn't work that way though.
@chaoticTired98
I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with frequent headaches and sensitivity to emotional triggers. It's understandable that these symptoms can be frustrating and cause you to feel helpless at times. It's important to prioritize your health and well-being, and seek out support from medical professionals if needed to help manage your symptoms.
It's also understandable that you may feel self-conscious about others seeing you cry, as it can often lead to unwanted attention or negative reactions from others. However, it's important to remember that it's okay to express your emotions and that crying is a natural and healthy response to certain situations.
It sounds like you're experiencing a lot of internal struggle and self-blame. It's important to remember that you are not at fault for experiencing these symptoms, and that it's okay to seek out support and help when you need it. You deserve to have people in your life who treat you with kindness and understanding, even when you're feeling vulnerable.
Remember that you are not alone in this, and there are resources available to help you manage your symptoms and emotions. Don't hesitate to reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional for support. You don't have to go through this alone.
