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I need advice on abuse

Darkpelt11 October 9th, 2018

Hi. I'm 15 years old and my brother is 13. He has become very very abusive; mainly emotionally but also physically. I feel unsafe near him and he enjoys my pain. Ever since he was little he enjoyed watching me suffer. He'd make scenes in stores or during events, trying to make me act like the big mean sister my family say I am. He is a foot and a half taller then me and out ways me by about 20 more pounds or so. I have tried telling my parents about this in the past but they have said his mean words are nothing compared to me; saying I'm a horrible big sister who has been a *female dog* to him since he was little. I feel completely hopeless and get serve panic atracks when I'm around him. Which I'm not allowed to have. I'm trying to push through, pretend everything is OK but it isn't. I feel very scared and like I can trust no one in my family. I want to go to my friend's house but I know it will lead to worse things. How can I do this? Should I just ignore it? Or push through?

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DavidEss October 14th, 2018

@Darkpelt11

Hi Dark

I'm afraid mean words go with having a brother. There's not much to do about that except try not to react and let him get bored.

Physical violence is something else entirely . If this is the case, if you can, give your parents another chance. Other than that it's a school counsellor.

4 replies
Darkpelt11 OP October 19th, 2018

@DavidEss

Thank you.My parents are a loss cause and I sadly have no school counselor from being homeschooled and my two day a week school does not have one, but thank you anyways.

3 replies
DavidEss October 19th, 2018

@Darkpelt11

Oh dear, well, if physical violence is involved then you must tell someone, for your own safety.

I know it's difficult, and I feel for you.

2 replies
Darkpelt11 OP October 24th, 2018

@DavidEss Thank you. I'm trying.. Maybe.

1 reply
DavidEss October 24th, 2018

@Darkpelt11

Am I hearing that you aren't sure you are putting enough effort in?

My view is that just enduring this kind of situation can use up every last bit of energy we have, so you're doing ok in my view.

And maybe you will reach out on here for more support when you can . Let us help.

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brandyd14 October 19th, 2018

@Darkpelt11 Hi there, sorry to hear that you are going through this.

Do you do any activities outside of the home? Like a sports team or hobby? I know this isn't a solution to your problem but these activities could be a good way for you to get some distance from your family and relax a little.

If your brother physically hurts you and your parents won't intervene, you could go to the police or child services yourself. Even a trusted teacher could help. I know it is scary but you deserve to feel comfortable and safe in your own home.

Take care

2 replies
Darkpelt11 OP October 24th, 2018

@brandyd14 Thank you for your support. No, I do not have outside activities other than my two day a week school. I haven't really told anyone in fear that, one) I'll be disowned. Two) My family will be taken away. 3) I will get abused even more, mainly being verbal abuse from most and mainly my mom and brother. It's very confusing and complicated to explain via comment.

1 reply
brandyd14 October 24th, 2018

@Darkpelt11 youre welcome to message me. Just remember ‘this too shall pass , there are always brighter horizons around the corner smiley

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Vanessagail October 25th, 2018

Hi, Have you tried putting a lock on your door so maybe you can be alone in your room? If I were you Id hangout at your local park, library, the river or lake, public places to get away or get out of the house. Even taking walks helped me as a teen. Just be careful not to get involved with street people they can be big trouble. Never be alone with him. Go to a friends house for a little while etc. Will your parents let you stay with a friend ( be careful of this as well, don't get abused by staying with a person who would try and molest you while you sleep on their couch)

1 reply
Darkpelt11 OP October 26th, 2018

@Vanessagail I do have a lock and it's allowed to lock it be frowned upon. Luckily he stays out of my bedroom. I'll try to take walks more often, get out of the house. I am lucky to have no friends that would ever molest me.

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