I don’t know what to do, please help or something :(
I’m stuck. I dated a guy over the summer that I knew for years. He ended up cheating on me, he said he was broken up with the girl in hindsight I set him up with, but that was true for two days even though it was weeks after that when we got together, he never told me that. Anyways, she found out, messaged me, he did too all freak out, my ex who’s friends with my now ex-boyfriend’s now ex-girlfriend, accused me of knowing that he was cheating, when me and that ex were finally on good terms again. Anyways, over that, and now me and the ex-boyfriend have been talking, as friends ofc, cause I have problems of letting go, but I’m talking to this girl now, she’s a grade below me but was held back a year or something, idk, so she’s my age, well actually older by like 3 months or so, but she’s asexual and I’m hyper sexual, which like I’m fine with, but it sucks, but I really do like her, I wanna hold her hand and take her out and stuff, but kissing and everything else is a no. But me and the ex boyfriend were talking for hours yesterday, usually I sit and watch reels on *** but I was stuck talking to him, apparently it was all lies, that he did love me and not him just trying to please me, he was trying to cover himself with being caught cheating. But I still love him, a lot, but I also really like this girl too. I don’t want to hurt her, but my best friend hates this ex boyfriend as well, and said she’ll leave if I get back with him, and I don’t want nor need that. I’m stuck and I don’t know what to do. If I’m with him, my needs will be met, but also it doesn’t help that I’m more into girls, but I don’t know, I really don’t know what to do. Does anyone have any advice, or can relate or something?
@StarrieSaturn
Okay, let’s unpack this. First off, I feel you—this is messy, and it’s heavy. But the fact that you're trying to navigate all of this says a lot about how much you care, which is good, but it's also what's holding you hostage in this maze of emotions. So here’s the brutal truth.
You’re stuck because you’re trying to juggle all these people’s feelings while ignoring your own. You want to keep the ex around because he gives you something you're missing, but let's not sugarcoat it—he cheated. And now he’s telling you he did love you? That’s hard to process, but love doesn’t lie and it doesn’t cheat. If he truly loved you, would you be in this position right now? 🥀 You can't build something strong on a shaky foundation.
Now, about this girl. She sounds amazing, but there's a fundamental mismatch here. She's asexual, and you’re hypersexual. Sure, you like her and you’re fine with the boundaries, but are you really? You have needs, and it’s okay to admit that they matter too. If you step into something where you’re going to have to constantly suppress that part of you, how long before you start feeling like you're missing out? 🤔
Also, your best friend? Sounds like they see through the ex’s BS. If your closest friend is willing to walk away because of him, that’s a massive red flag. Do you want to lose someone who’s been there for you, just to be with someone who’s already proven they’re not trustworthy? 🎭
The harsh truth is that you can’t keep everyone happy. So, here’s my question: Who do you want to prioritize? Is it your ex, who already broke your trust? This new girl, who might not be able to fulfill a big part of what you need? Or yourself, the one who’s been bending over backwards to make sure everyone else is okay? 💔
At some point, you have to stop trying to please everyone and start protecting yourself. You deserve something that feels good all the way through, not just halfway.
What’s your next move? 🌹
@BelovedMe thank you so much, this is so helpful, I don’t know my next move for sure, especially with this stuff it’s complicated with my bpd, I’ll obsess and feel the need for something and drop other things for that one thing without thinking, I don’t always feel control of myself, but this is so helpful, like hearing about someone else talk about it makes me feel like it’s a different person, not myself, so I go into my like, protective must help mode, if that makes any sense. I really appreciate you taking your time for this response, it means so much to me
@StarrieSaturnI'm really glad it helped you, even just a bit! ❤️ I can only imagine how tough it must be when your emotions feel like they're constantly pulling you in different directions. But the fact that you're aware of this and trying to navigate it shows real strength. It does make sense, by the way—sometimes seeing things from an outside perspective can be so eye-opening. And hey, you're doing your best, and that’s all anyone can ask for. If you ever need to talk, I'm here! 💛 i Understand it because i was like you too ...and its not a disease...people like ous just are too kind for this world that's way it hurts ous so much because it know we are strong thatsway it tries to break ous ...and that mean you are strong that's these thing are trying to haunt you but remember...You purity of thoughts your true heart is the lamp of light that will guide you in the world of darkness. So Calm Down .take a deep breath ..and belive in yourself because i believe in you.....😇..
