I decided to make a diary
Dec 6
"Do you like me?"
That question popped up when he decided to be more than fwb. The answer is obvious, i love him so i said yes. It was more than 6 months ago. We had fights, we made up and now i understand him more. eps because he was gaming a lot it's seems like when he stressed he plays game a lot. I wont bother him. I said to my self it's better than he's cheating me on another woman. It's hard being in LDR, i dunno what he did, he dunno what i do. The only thing we can do is communicating. Last time he asked permission to be away for some time. He told me he need to make more money. So i said okay.
It's said that our life is a cake, our relationship with others are icing. I think again. My life is indeed plain without him. But i try myself to make the cake taste good. I write diary here, i planned to go home to parents place tonight, i do skincare routine. But i'm worried about him. Does he ever think about me? I wonder.
dec 25
i.was playing game a lot i watch video i wash clothes. but still i'm feeling uneasy. just why.
dec 26
morning
it maybe silly if he actually responded to me after everything i think. it's been 6 days since he appear online but not messaging anyone in groups. but he let his bestfriend know "oh i'm on a job so i cant go to cinema with you". really? he told him but not me. a
it's been SIX DAYS
i really not that important? should i just start a fight with him. he'll ended up breaking up with me then.
i tried to make everything good again but why it doesnt work
i also consider lifexiting myself a lot because of that. if it really happen no one can stop me anymore.
dec 27
he contacted me yesterday, he told me he dropped his phone inside water. i decided to trust him. at this point i also know he cant buy any phone so he used telegram pc. but i told him if he want to go somewhere for 6 days he need to tell me before he go that looooong time really. but nothing can be done if and his phone was like this. i'm being anxious again. i want this anxiety because he doesnt contact me to go away
2 jan 2020
happy new year everyone. last time i decided not to contact anyone in chat or media social for 2 weeks, i'm still on first week.
i broke my own rules by replying to my bf new year greeting. but it'll be rude to ignore. no one text me new year greeting. others think it's sinful so they dont.
whatever. still there's 10 days left. i miss him.
now time to fix many things in my room tho
