Do You Ever Feel It?
Honestly, I don't know how to start it. Two weeks ago, my calico cat was hospitalized. I have been worrying it and also insomnia too. My colleagues seemed to realize how unfocused and distracted I was. They asked me what is going on? I told them, my cat is hospitalized and vet said it is challenging to cure it.
Aside of worrying my cat health, I do think about the medical fees too. Speak frankly, it cost amount of money.
I don't need their pity gaze but the thing that makes me feel so uncomfortable was, one of my colleagues said: "How can you so foolish to spend that amount of money for your cat? Moreover it is only a calico cat which you can find at any places in our environment."
My calico cat was a stray before. I adopted it when it was about four months (vet said). I have been living with it since the day I adopted it. Speak frankly, I don't have really good mental health but since I adopted it, it has been my emotional support and helping me so much with my anxiety.
Because of my cat, I don't feel so lonely and stress.
I try to understand for those who doesn't know the importance of my cat in my life after all, they weren't me. Yet, I felt so hurt when they asked me to give up on my cat life.
The medication fee does cost lot, I know, my life might turn to be tougher after all, financially, I am not doing well. But, I believe, money can be earn but life won't be back. Although it is tough, I am still persevering.
I am not asking money from them or any help even at one point I do really need it. What bother me so much is, they are talking at my back and even intentionally bring up the topic about my cat and I during the break time as if it is kind of new entertainment for them, joking about how crazy and stupid, I am.
They are making fun about my situation as well my feeling toward my cat which really break my heart :(
@unnie12
y prayers go out to you and your cat. I hope they can give you a discount of the fees. I understand how very important your cat is for your mental health. The other people understand also but people like to joke around. Try not to let that bother you much.
Blessings, Day
@unnie12- sending you lots of validation on how important our animals are to us. They fill our lives with acceptance and companionship. Sad that your coworkers dont know the love of an animal. Hoping your dear cat gets well soon.
It was cloudy day. I'd brought back my cat from vet clinic after couple weeks being hospitalized. Vet told me, there was no significant progress on my cat health. Moreover, my cat seemed so tired and unwillingly to recover which made everything became harder.
There were voices asked me to euthanasia my cat since he looked so suffer with his paralyzed condition. They even said I am acting so selfish to prologue his life by giving fluid through an intravenous catheter, medicine and etc.
But somewhat I can't bring myself to euthanasia him. I knew he was suffering, therefore, I brought him back to home, spending three days with him. I took him strolling and sun-bathing him every morning, I talked to him, I smiled to him and not let him to see my sad expression.
Perhaps my cat knew my sadness so he was trying hard to turn his head to see me, as if he wanted to tell me something. I saw tears on his eyes, I wiped it and then whispered to him, 'My dear, if you really feel so tired, painful and suffer, then, I am willingly to let you go and have a peace. I'm not holding on you. Don't worry about me, I'll be alright. I'll take good care of myself.'
It didn't take long time after I finished my words, my cat was breathing out his last breathe. But his eyes didn't close, looked straight at me. I tried to close his eyes, put my hand on it, then after praying for about one hour, I buried him.
@unnie12- how wonderful that you were able to spend the last days with your beloved cat. Tears in my eyes reading your description of letting him go. Hugs to you.
