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unnie12
14,881 M Progress Road 1
PathStep 80 Compassion hearts268 Forum posts30 Forum upvotes34 Current upvotes34 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2024 Member sinceDecember 15, 2021
Recent forum posts
Life Indeed Jokes
Journals & Diaries / by unnie12
Last post
 October 14th, 2022
...See more Have been living in Hustle culture for many years, stress is avoidable for me. About years ago, I have diagnosed with anxiety and panic attack. When pandemic hit, my condition not any better but still grateful because I'd my cat as emotional support. But, my cat also left months ago. My emotions not stable again, feeling as if I am trapped inside dark tunnel without knowing where is the exit. Then, just not long ago, I did my health check up. Doctor told me, he suspected that I might have a leukemia and asked me to do further and more complete check up. I was staring straight to the doctor when he did the explanation but somewhat I felt as if I heard nothing but only 'a Leukemia' in my ears. I didn't even recall how I walked out from hospital and back to home. I didn't know how to describe my feeling on that day. I didn't cry, sad but more to surprised, perhaps. Tears fell, I didn't know how to deal with it. I felt so lost. I kept myself for days, I felt so weak. I closed my eyes, lying on my bed, feeling so exhausted. I just wanted to have long slept that day. When I opened my eyes, I'd stayed in hospital. I found fainted inside my room. After being hospitalized for days. Done all the checks up, doctor said, it still early stage, the chance is still high to cure.
Do You Ever Feel It?
Journals & Diaries / by unnie12
Last post
 June 13th, 2022
...See more Honestly, I don't know how to start it. Two weeks ago, my calico cat was hospitalized. I have been worrying it and also insomnia too. My colleagues seemed to realize how unfocused and distracted I was. They asked me what is going on? I told them, my cat is hospitalized and vet said it is challenging to cure it. Aside of worrying my cat health, I do think about the medical fees too. Speak frankly, it cost amount of money. I don't need their pity gaze but the thing that makes me feel so uncomfortable was, one of my colleagues said: "How can you so foolish to spend that amount of money for your cat? Moreover it is only a calico cat which you can find at any places in our environment." My calico cat was a stray before. I adopted it when it was about four months (vet said). I have been living with it since the day I adopted it. Speak frankly, I don't have really good mental health but since I adopted it, it has been my emotional support and helping me so much with my anxiety. Because of my cat, I don't feel so lonely and stress. I try to understand for those who doesn't know the importance of my cat in my life after all, they weren't me. Yet, I felt so hurt when they asked me to give up on my cat life. The medication fee does cost lot, I know, my life might turn to be tougher after all, financially, I am not doing well. But, I believe, money can be earn but life won't be back. Although it is tough, I am still persevering. I am not asking money from them or any help even at one point I do really need it. What bother me so much is, they are talking at my back and even intentionally bring up the topic about my cat and I during the break time as if it is kind of new entertainment for them, joking about how crazy and stupid, I am. They are making fun about my situation as well my feeling toward my cat which really break my heart :(
Unnie's Space-Diary Log
Journals & Diaries / by unnie12
Last post
 August 14th, 2023
...See more I've been thinking for sometimes and bit hesitating when create this Unnie's Space-Diary Log. Not sure what I want to share and put on here but there is a gentle voice inside myself, telling me that I need to have this only to 'keep myself sane'.
Just Want To Love This World
Reading & Writing / by unnie12
Last post
 February 27th, 2022
...See more This is a part of song lyric. I listened to this song when I felt so bad about my day, helpless and feeling lost. Just Want To Love This World Staying on the sofa, fatigue body, sleepy eyes, messy hair. But I still desire to be hero in the movie It felt as if I am at the edge, voices of screaming crows above me, numb. I don't know how to express my emotions so I bottled up. No matter where I am (here or there) I feel alike living dead, soulless But there is somewhere inside my heart, I still struggling to live I can't make up for the past Every times I recall about the trauma How people judge me and the attitude people show me The discrimination, bad treatment and rudeness. I do really want to leave this world And using this way to show my existence. But because you said that you are here for me It gives new hope for me I know deep inside me, I don't want to leave yet As a loner, your one phone call It does help so much Because of it, I do feel perhaps I was loved too It gives me a hope to start new Leaving the trauma, toss it away Let it go so I can move on My dull world finally has colors It is because your one call I know, I just want to love this world.
In Between
Newbie Hub / by unnie12
Last post
 February 11th, 2022
...See more What will you choose if you are only able to have one. Bread or dream?
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